Tracy Hogg's EASY routine... how soon is too soon for a newborn ??

[JoGehani]

Hi,

My baby boy (no names decided yet) is only 7 days old and I was wondering if it's too soon to try and put him on Tracy Hogg's EASY routine ??

Cheers,
Jo

Yes, the Accidental Parenting stuff really massively annoys me, especially given the huge volume of research showing that babies and humans have evolved to rock and be rocked.

I really liked BW. The EASY routine worked well for us, as did the ssshhh pat and putting baby down awake. Both of us found the stuff about reading the baby's cues for tiredness etc really helpful, as well as the bit about why babies and cry and how they communicate. I think if you try and stick to any prescribed routine without any flex or adaptions for your particular baby's needs, then you're asking for trouble. But overall I found it quite suportive and helpful.

I agree with most others on here. A week is way too early for any sort of routine (to remind yourself just how tiny your baby is, remember that only a week ago he was in the womb - you weren't expecting him to be in a routine then!!). However, I do sympathise with wanting some sort of order or routine; I tend that way myself, and the unpredictability of a young baby used to drive me mad. But I really think six weeks or so is the youngest that there's any point trying to encourage any sort of pattern. For us, what worked both times was to start with the bedtime routine (at around six weeks). If you start having a set routine (eg bath, feed, lullaby) and doing it at around the same time every night, then your baby will start to learn that this means 'bedtime' (as opposed to 'nap time'). And gradually, if you keep that feed around the same time, then the other feeds will start to fall into some sort of pattern (whatever that pattern might be). It doesn't happen overnight, and there are bound to up-and-downs, but it worked for us.

Also, I would very much second what others have said about ditching the 'activity' for now. You mention that 'he doesn't want to stay up for the A in EASY' - whatever you do, don't try to make him!!! We made that mistake with DS1, who cried a lot - I thought he needed distraction, but what he desperately needed was more sleep (but he found it very hard to get to sleep). We tried to distract him from crying, which just made him more wound up. What we should have done is tried harder to get him to sleep (though I don't know how we would have achieved that). Babies of a few days/weeks old really don't need to do anything except eat and sleep. (And, as you say, they tend to want to eat after feeding, but AESY doesn't make such a good acronym .)

Plus I don't know of any parent of a 7 day old baby who achieves any 'Y'...

Great to see an anti-Baby Whisperer groundswell....the book is absolutely dreadful, with no real understanding of babies, parents and especially breastfeeding which I have rarely seen written about so spectacularly wrongly and with not a clue about babies' normal needs, physiology and development.

Mothers and babies at 7 days need no imposed routines. They are just at the start of a lifelong relationship which depends on responsive and communicative love and care.

Grrrr :)

One book I do like is What Every Parent Needs To Know - because it's actually based on research. And What Mothers Do is quite supportive in terms of helping you to think positively about the apparently formless early months if that's something that's bothering you.

I know Tiktok is our Official Mistress of All Things Feeding (and I say that out of deep respect and admiration - she is utterly fab and wonderful across the parenting and feeding boards in her support and advice) but I'm going to take a very deep breath and disagree with her on this one....

I used the Baby Whisperer books (EASY) with all 3 of my dcs from about 7 days. It isn't an imposed routine - its all about balancing your needs as a parent with recognising and accommodating your child's needs. We found it brilliant - a total lifesaver - mainly because we simply didn't have a clue, and needed some loose structure to work to. The 'other' book (by She Who Shall Not Be Named) was ridiculous and prescriptive and bossy and annoying. This book gave some loose guidelines (like aiming to feed regularly, and suggesting that 'feeding to sleep' might not be such a great plan, which I wholeheartedly agree with), and emphasised that this EASY is a plan, rather than a fixed schedule.

For what its worth, Tracy Hogg is very clear (for example) that when she suggests feeding every 3 hours that a) that isn't suitable for newborns, especially below a certain weight, and she gives other recommendations for them and b) that you should never ever ever ever not feed a hungry baby because 'it isn't time yet'.

As I say, I 'did' BW with all 3 dcs from the first week. I bf all of them to 9 months, when I went back to work, and found the suggested routine worked really well for us. I expressed from about 4 weeks, and dh did the 'dream feed' with a bottle from that point - again, that caused us no problems with latching or other feeds, and gave him a chance to feed the baby (and me a chance to sleep!).

All 3 dcs were sleeping from 7-7 (with an 11pm feed) by 12 weeks, without any effort or forcing on my part. They simply slept well. I do think that part of that is that I was very focussed on feeding them regularly throughout the day, and that I was willing to 'wake to feed' in the daytime.

I would say that every baby is different, every mum is different, and (crucially) every family is different, so what worked very well for us (and its worth noting that my smallest baby was 8lbs 9oz....) might not work for someone else.

We recommended the BW to many of our RL friends, and they all (without exception) also found it tremendously useful.

Whatever you decide, good luck, congratulations and enjoy your new ds :) :)

Filly, thanks for the compliments, but I stick by everything I say about the Baby Whisperer.

You and friends may have found it helpful - clearly some people do.

But the answer for parents who find they are all at sea without a structure to their day does not lie in reading a book where I say again the author has not the first idea about normal development, breastfeeding, emotional and physiological needs.

I write as someone who has spoken to many women who have found the book has increased their postnatal distress and who have felt themselves incompetent and useless because they cannot get the book to 'work'.

I tried this for the first few weeks and so wish I hadn't bothered. It made new parenthood unnecessarily stressful.

Once I ditched the book and was led by my baby, we were both much happier.

Newborns are like goldfish - they don't 'learn' anything so you just end up feeling like you're doing it wrong.

Throw the book away and listen to your baby and your instincts :)

As frilly says, the BW does not recommend waiting 3 hours between feeds if your baby is showing signs of hunger...

I'm not some amazing advocate of it BTW and at the risk of sounding controversial, i'm a bit at some posts on here: don't wait 3 hours and offer often but a 6 wk old sleeping through... That's great if you didn't have to encourage any 'tactic' to achieve that but would also guess you're in the minority at that age.

NCT and LLL are also guidelines. Before I even clapped eyes on the BW at wk 7, my LO was going 3+ hours between feeds fairly often (does not sleep through). That is her natural feeding schedule and i don't have supply issues.

If the thread demonstrates anything its that all babies and mums are individuals. I agree you might not be able to start a routine too early and some of the BF advice is a bit dodgy but there is no harm in reading as much as you can/want to and adapting to your family needs.

I read it when I was pg with DC2. SIL had leant it to me. Once I'd read the book it suddenly became clear why SIL had given up on bfing on the first day with both of her DC.

Agree with Tiktok and Kellymom, avoid, avoid, avoid.

I have no knowledge of Tracey Hogg but we found ds got himself into his own routine at about 8 weeks.... before then things like colic and reflux make everything that much harder and routines tend to be difficult.

I also think if a tiny baby is crying it's most likely to be feeding and cuddles they want so I always do this first... even if they have just been fed. Ds is formula fed and fed every 2 hours. I fed on demand. I can't understand any routine that says fed every so many hours... if someone delayed my dinner because they didn't think I was hungry at 6 I'd be pissed off too !!

Ds is now 4 months old and sleeps through as did my dd now aged 9 yrs. I may just be lucky but I do find having a dark place to sleep with blackout blinds, short naps during the day with a lot of activity and general noise going on in the day and absolutely no talking etc at night really helps. I feed them by the cot in their sleeping bags and pop them in half asleep and they both learn to fall asleep.. ds has never cried at bedtime. As I say I may be lucky !!

I've never experienced growth spurt issues with either of them either.

Totally agree with first para of lapin's post - bedtime routine signalling 'this is bedtime, long sleep now', structuring the rest of the day around this and of course making allowances in the early months for feeding/growth spurts/teething, is a great way of getting the baby to fall into a feasible routine.

Of course, it will take a little time to establish, and there will be days when it doesn't work, but babies aren't machines and more-often-than-not is pretty good for a good few months after birth.

We did this from day 5 of DD's life, and she has never (not once) not fallen asleep for a good long stint (5 hours +) when put down for the night. I mix fed.

However, you might want to think about why you are looking for a routine, something you possibly decided you wanted during pregnancy given you are concerned about establishing it so soon after delivery.

Is it for the baby's well-being? I am not qualified to say whether babies need routine or not, I don't think there is a right answer to this, but I suspect your child will lead you to the right answer for him, which you may just have to live with.

Or is it for you/your family? It was for me, and the best thing I did once DD arrived was to relax about it all. I had been very keen to ensure that the rest of us continued to lead normal lives, that the house continued to run smoothly, that we were all well fed, and that we continued to see our friends and family etc. I thought routine would be the key to having this. However, I very quickly found that the routine was ruling me, instead of serving me, and life became so much easier when I started going with the flow a little. I began to adjust things here and there (call them compromises, if you will, some that DD made, most that we made) and now, several months down the line, we have all the above and DD is a happy, healthy, thriving young child.

So, my advice would be to ensure that the routine you decide to establish serves you, rather than enslaves you.

Congratulations, and good luck!

Wouldn't have worked for us - we just did eat and sleep for the first 4 months. No real activity.

I agree QTPie pick and mix tips/advice - as a lot of us do anyway from MWs/HVs/GPs.... and of course the best source MN as you get great debates like this! :)

the problem for me with BW is that she doesn't say - here are my thoughts, take of them what you will. She says 'this is the best way to bring up a baby'. And she is critical of demand led feeding and of allowing a baby to establish it's own rhythmn - and of cuddles/ rocking etc.

Also - although she says 'feed if baby is hungry' - she also says 'feeding more than 3 hourly is a 'problem' and means you don't have enough milk - so her caveat is disingenous - the whole book is designed to push the idea that a baby 'should' go three hours ....she really doesn't leave it open to you - just sticks a line in about 'feed if hungry' probably to make sure she isn't sued if a baby gets dehydrated.

And I find it laughable that she talks about listening to your baby - but then on one page says it could be a hunger cry 'if it's been over 2.5 hours since last feed' erm...so..you can listen to your baby but you can't possibly believe it's hungry unless it's exactly the right time...

"I honestly think that the success or dislike if BW depends on the parent. If they can read books, take out what they like and apply as, when and how their particular baby/situation requires, then it is a fab book. I did and it worked: didn't follow it religiously, but felt it helped me in many ways. However I also digested "She who must not be named's" book and managed to pick little positive things with that too. I went through a lot of books...

If you read a book and have to apply it "all or nothing" (like a manual), then you probably will get depressed and stressed.

A bit like anything in life really: take all of the good ideas from all over the place, leave the bad ideas where they are."

Totally agree with you there. I read every babybook going when I was pregnant - Baby Whisperer, Contented baby, Sears Attachment parenting, Pantley's no cry sleep solution...

I found them all to have bits I liked, and all to have bits I found to be utterly ridiculous. I took the bits I liked and ignored the rest. Obviously, I found using the advice I found helpful really helpful and none of them made me feel a bad mum because I didn't care about the bits I didn't like .

I too used BW and took what I thought was good advice given what we know now about BF. I particularly liked the advice on recognising different cries, movement etc. this really helped me.

It is behind the times on BF but then sadly the author isn't still alive to update her books like SHSNBNed!