Tracy Hogg's EASY routine... how soon is too soon for a newborn ??

[JoGehani]

Hi,

My baby boy (no names decided yet) is only 7 days old and I was wondering if it's too soon to try and put him on Tracy Hogg's EASY routine ??

Cheers,
Jo

Thanks for all your replies !!!
I've been a bit frustrated and teary trying to set a routine for DS. Currently he feeds anywhere between 10 mins to 40 mins and anywhere between 1 hour to 3 hours ! (I'm breastfeeding) And as most of you mentioned he wants to sleep after a feed and not stay up for the 'A' in EASY

I do have one question... when do you change your baby !?!? I don't want to change him while he's sleeping... but once he's awake he wants to feed immediately and once he's fed he wants to go back to sleep. Also if I try and change him after a feed he brings up a lot of milk... I guess it's because his legs are being pulled up...

Thanks again

I don't change a wet nappy immediately. If they've pooed then it's often after a feed so I change that and then have another bit of a cuddle and perhaps another mouthful of boob to send them back to sleep.

OP - I am sending you a un-mnetty hug! I remember those days and really don't want to sound either patronising or condescending. Keep your post, you will look back and smile.

He is 7 days old and doesn't have a name yet. He doesn't need a routine, I promise you!

He just needs to feed whenever he likes every 10 mins or for 3 hours as you say. His activity is just being out of the womb - 40 weeks of being inside where he was nourished constantly and kept warm and he is now out in the big wide world.

Just give up on normal life for a while, try and enjoy it and please don't get teary about routines. Your hormones are all over the place - your only job is to cuddle up in bed with him, get other people to feed you and then feed him, look at him, enjoy him and accept the lack of control that you will have over life for a while. It is a unique time that I felt overwhelmed by with dc1 but just accepted (and therefore enjoyed) with dc2.

The expectation that a 7 day old should be in a routine is setting impossible demands upon you and also him. Repeat after me, he is a week old.....

Take care and good luck with it all x

There is a big leap forward for babies at about 3 months (ish.) I would recommend (although totally up to you ..you are mum and know best!) waiting until around then before you worry about how they feed and sleep - they are bigger then, they can see further, so you can leave them playing under a mobile or starting to grab at toys as they learn to use their hands. It makes it easier for them to settle.

At the moment your baby still thinks she is part of you - she doesn't know what happens when you put her down awake, she just doesnt feel safe. So if you wait until they are developmentally further along, it's easier to gently stretchfeeds / get them to sleep without a boob in their mouth.

it feels oppressive now how much they feed - but in the scale of your life this time is very short ..it does get easier quite quickly x

x post with above advice about relaxing - totally agree! cuddle up on the sofa, the routine will come as they grow - honestly! you dont need to worry about it now

sorry - one more thought..! I also really dislike the term 'accidental parenting' - please don't believe all that guff about 'rod for your back ' - I rocked / cuddled/ fed my DS to sleep for weeks, but then..when I didn't want to anymore it really wasn't that hard to get him to fall asleep in a cot - I just had to be a bit patient and put him down with toys/ a dummy let him play and relax and learn what he was in there for! I still sometimes feed him to sleep at 6 months - but he also knows how to sleep on his own...

Rather than 'accidental parenting' - rocking/ cuddling is actually very in tune loving parenting, responding to your babies needs and gently teaching them to sleep as they become older.

chuck the book away and buy Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution instead...it doesn't offer easy one fix answers but it does explain how babies sleep and how you can teach them good habits..in their own time ..while enjoying the cuddles !

Is this the book that talks about 'accidental parenting'? if it is, bin it. It makes you feel like shit because you want to trust your instincts and go with the flow. Going with the flow is equivalent to accidental parenting, which in her words - if I remember rightly - is an absolute no no.

I hate that accidental parenting thing too. As if parenting should be all planning and premeditation. I had a lot of opinions and plans when I was pregnant with DD1. They all turned out to be wrong.

Trust your instincts, not some stranger who has written a book but knows nothing about you or your child.

If you are bfing, did you know that this book is on kellymoms list of books to avoid and the advice isn't evidence based either?

Also, I've fed both of mine to sleep, both are now great sleepers, Dsil followed the baby whisperer to the letter. dN still wakes at 7. Years that is not weeks .

OP I don't think there is anything wrong with EASY as a principle, just adapt it to you. My DC always wanted to sleep after a feed, so I suppose we did ESYA. They mostly wanted to play a bit when they woke. Just use it as a tool to remind you that babies need a bit of everything. And btw 'play' in a tiny baby can just be looking about, they get over stimulated very easily, as my trip to the Co Op when DS2 was 4 weeks old was testament to

It's true that babies will Eat, Sleep and also be Awake and it does make sense to take some time for You but other than that it's bunk.

tempnameswop your post made me teary - very kind and very true!

OP I spent a miserable time from DS1 being 4 weeks til 12 weeks trying to get him in the EASY routine and to go to sleep on his own, it made me and him unhappy and me feel very inadequate as a parent. He fell into a rough routine on his own when he was 6/7 month ish and started solids. He also started sleeping through at this point and is still a brilliant sleeper at 2.4years (in fact he's having one of his marathon 2 hour afternoon naps as I write this ). FWIW I fed him to sleep (bedtime and naps) until he was 16 months old and I stopped bf - and as I say he is a great little sleeper. I think most tiny babies struggle to go to sleep on their own and need feeding / rocking / cuddling - its normal.

DS2 is now 8 weeks old and asleep on my chest, all warm and snuffly. I feel really sad that I missed this lovely stage with DS1 beacuse I was stressed about routines etc. Enjoy your new baby!

Thanks everyone for the kind and reassuring words !! I feel much better now

Most of you have mentioned that I get a good book on bf... any recommendations ??

Cheers,
Jo

The Food of Love by Kate Evans is wonderful and very easy to read, great cartoons ...

Then Baby-Breastfeeding by Gill Rapley is very good, as is the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. Both v comprehensive.

Good luck Jo, we've all been there and promise it gets easier!

Please check out the Baby Whisperer forums if you want to discuss EASY. They're bf section is more up to date than the BW book.

We used it from 3 months. It was wonderful, for us, but I'm aware it doesn't work for all.

Oh, we are still BFing at 18mo too.

It's a load of bollocks in my opinion. Especially in relation to breastfeeding.

Would echo the scorn for the Baby Whisperer and her sneery accidental parenting judgefest. Bleurgh,

A lovely book which calmed and reassured me every time I read it is Penelope Leach Your Baby and Child. Clearly written by someone who loves babies. Limited breastfeeding advice though.