Fantastic 40+ Mums

[Hpbp]

Mum of 2, DS1 nearly 4yo and DD2 almost 11 weeks. I hope to find here advices from experienced mums so that I can avoid mistakes... I made some with DS1 and my life sometimes is hell, it is hard to unlearn wrong behaviour, so hard.
At the time being, DD2 is a very sweet baby, she is easy to decipher, cries are always related to some kind of discomfort and I managed to learn what they mean, or almost. Only one issue with her ATM is that she rejects bottle feeding even with expressed milk. I'd like to be able to escape a bit from the house to get a haircut or a facial. And I am sure DH would like to feed her sometimes too.
I struggle a bit more with DS1, who is usually a good boy, energetic, happy and loving. But after school, getting him to take his bath is a battle and falling and staying asleep all night are big issues. The problems did exist before but now with the recent arrival of his sister, the intensity has increased. Or maybe they are the same but to me they seem bigger and need to be addressed quickly so that I can look after both without raising my voice.
All advice are welcome. I need help here.

Also I'd like to invite all the graduates from the Fantastic 40+ Mums to be thread to join. You have been truly fantastic and so supportive during my pg. I hope to be able to keep on sharing with you this wonderful parenting adventure.

BG currently asleep in his cot
Only fed at 12:30 and 5 - more He woke at 3 but I didn't feed him (tired of sloppy and ineffectual feeding at this time) and after thrashing around for a bit he went back to sleep. Ewan was working overtime. And after the 5 am feed he slept for another hour. I probably got about 7 hours sleep. Feel human(ish) and slightly shell shocked. Hope it is not a fluke. Though as lrm says have probably jinxed it now.
ff wot vq says...
lrm Marrakech it is as long as we don't have to wear bikinis. Don't want to put you all off your cocktails.
bbd did you enjoy your Epiphany?
midget BG also needs telling about teething. He is only 3 months adjusted. Also doing it in the wrong order I think ( though why am I surprised?) as I can feel a top tooth almost through, no bottom ones.

Goat it's because I have him a talking to.
FF leave the bastard.

Well done baby goat. Good sleeps for mummy.
Goat. I would rather smash my teeth out with a hammer then wear a bikini

vq

Well done J! Bff had good night too, incl 1 hour 18 mins in cot! During which he turned 160 degrees and stuck legs through and rammed head against other side. Still, taking baby steps forward.

Happy Monday all. Going to did out anti-ageing serum and trowel on thick layer.

Ff. Every day is trowel day here. I have been trying to dye my hair for three weeks now and failed. I look like the mother from the Waltons holy shit

I just had my first ahhhhhhh moment with bm I had to put him down go down stairs and screamed in my utility room. Some crys drove ya mental. Feel better for the scream. Good job my house is detached or neighbor will call the fuzz.

LRM we all have moments like that. You did the right thing! I remember one night it crossed my mind (fleetingly) to bash his head against the wall to stop him crying. I woke DH as it scared the hell out of me! I was fine after a few minutes, but DS had grown to 6ft tall, with horns and a tail in my mind. When I got him back he was a tiny hungry baby who was struggling to breathe and feed at the same time. I felt awful and cried and cried.

I am ashamed to say that when I went to soft play the other day I forgot to wear a bra. I do not wear a bra at home as feeding so frequent, am usually still in pjs, and I wear a fairly supportive vest top, which I wore to soft play with a jumper over the top. It was too hot to keep my coat on, and I felt such a frump! I was growing my hair too, but will get it cut with a light fringe in as I just look like Mrs Walton too, although not so grey. Yet.

Well done babies ! Your Mums are very proud of you. Keep going...
We had power cut last night from 9 to 11.30pm, by 9.15, we were all sound asleep ! Anastasia did not wake up until 5am, had a feed and slept until 8.30am. That was very good as I had to finalise school applications today and I just pushed her everywhere, poor baby. My brain is not back yet either VQ, I got off the bus miles away from my destination, walked to realise that the bus I was on would have taken me exactly where I was going. Lost 30 min. The only good thing is that I had to walk and fast, it counts as exercise, right ?
Ok with you for no bikini. I will bring in spices and floor cushions to our coffee lounge. Our babies will be mobile soon... Today Anastasia managed to roll over, back to front, but gets frustrated as does not know yet how to get back :) also had her first spoons of carrot puree yesterday. Can't remember if I should wait until she can sit up properly to start solids ? Should I or not wait ?

I'm liking the Moroccan themed snug LRM. I have oodles of lanterns. Will rig them up, out of reach of little fingers. Also, will get some mint tea on the go. And for dinner, chicken tagine and couscous? With cocktails, obvs. Snug is going to be lovely. Can anyone supply some gently warm sunshine too?

Who forgot their bra the other day? Did they let you back in? Anyone found themselves walking down the street with their top up over boob still from earlier feed?

Anyway, who heard this mentioned on the radio this am: 'Bearing children after age 40 adds 3 years to a woman?s life expectancy.' Also, apparently us curvier ladies live longer. Great news to start 2013. Am cancelling gym membership and getting on with making DC2. Hoping that will add a total of 6 years to my lifespan!!

BBD re solids/sitting up. Really depends who you ask. They say solids ok from 4 months, but have you ever found a high-chair for under 6 months? I found one only which reclined with extensive searching. Didn't get it though - plumped for a really cheap model and propped him up with rolled up towels. If she is enjoying it then why not?

DS had his first go at a baked new potato, two strings of spaghetti and a smidge of meatball, plus a few spoons of chicken casserole and a good dose of mummy milk. Now sleeping it off. Good boy.

I managed to get a hairdresser to visit me at home just before Christmas to sort out greys. Took about 10 years off me. Am thinking there could be a market for new Mummy headgear?

Talking of headgear, bought DS bunny ears on Sat. Couldn't resist....

Right, off to dig out my belly dancing gear. See you later. FF x

Goat, I found a recipe for the galette des rois, easy and delicious. Epiphany can be every day now but I will try to keep it for only beginning of Jan.

Oh, the Jamie Oliver 15 minute lamb tagine is a wonder. DH made it last night, yum yum. Will bring it too.
FF you have to teach me belly dancing, I am so not in tune with my body, have never been. Good luck with the longer life span ! Do you want me to switch the power off from 6pm tonight ? :)

I have decided to squat in our new snug. I am not leaving. The food is fab. Lighting excellent music grand. Weather fab and good company. Babies all sleeping like angels on floating clouds and us lot hammered on what ever cocktail our lovely muscular swimsuit wearing male slave creates us! !!

VQ. Thanks honey for sharing your time that little one drove u nuts. I have had a rough day but he is fine and smiling at me. Dp says I analyzed it all too much. Hes a baby he will cry u cant get every cue he does and sometimes u won't for days on certain things. His demon is day naps if he gets over tired watch out Santa wont be coming to see him. He hates going to sleep in the day. Every two hours or so is nap time. He is a little monkey

lrm I think we hit the nail on the head with our nicknames for LOs. Mine is def a Babygoat - hardheaded and obstinate but a wicked sense of humour.
vq I had my moment like that two nights ago. For a split second I thought throwing him across the room would solve e erythronium. Then I felt horrendously awful. I put him on the bed and stood in the middle of the floor trying to get myself together. And as you said he turned back into a baby who was so tired he didn't know how to cope.
For our Moroccan feast I can bring spiced couscous with crispy onions, and carrot, feta and pistachio salad. They are yum! Would go well with bbd making tagine.
We need lots of snuggly blankets?

Ff, I use the Chicco Polly highchair bought for DS, it does recline almost flat. It is amazing, yesterday, Anastasia did not know what a spoon was, today, she opened her mouth as soon as she saw it ! These babies are so clever, they learn so fast.

Thinking of a front sling for little monkey. Is he too young for one do you think. They look like they have neck supports but any thoughts on a good un

Yeah, the snug is lovely. Lovely additions Goat. Yes, we need lots of snuggly blankets, though it never gets that cold, and a beautician on call too.

BBD - I think that was the one I looked at, but I was too tight to buy it!! The cheapo one will go to DGPs and I will get a more attractive one for home now he can sit up properly. Clever Anastasia! I let BFF play with his dinner tonight. Stripped him first! He loved wearing it!! (I'd put part of the high chair in the wash so couldn't use it. Just sat him on the wipe clean floor.) He did eat some. He laughed and giggled a lot! Then he had a lovely bath to wash it all off.

LRM I have a Baby Bjorn. Depending on what weight baby monkey is, look for carrier with best back support. The Original BB would be agony for me now BFF is over 10 kilos. Lots are available from birth. I had been looking at the Stokke as I think you can also use is as a back-pack carrier for baby, but DH bought it while I was still weighing up options. I found using one has given me an immense sense of freedom, but I can only take tubs a short way now as my back/knees can't take the weight. Babies love it when you turn them around as they get to see what is going on in the same way as you. BFF likes it when I stick him in it and do housework!! Going to get him a bike seat soon!

Off to dig out belly-dancing music. We could do a small workshop before getting hammered!! Maybe on Friday?

Night all. FF xx

I do like the snug.i especially like the fact that alcohol doesnt make it into breast milk there :) also, baby s will agree to sleep on a cloud in the happy company of your babies and I now have the right kind of belly for belly dancing ...

ff ltb! seriously though, dont know how you cope without his help and with the attitude. mr seaside is always getting earache for doing stuff wrong, but he does help. im just too mean

lrm goat vq you are brave sharing your stories of desperate moments - millions of women across the world have them everyday. thinking is not doing, just a sign that more support/sleep/food is needed. ive joined in baby seaside's hysterical crying a fair few times ... and also felt terribly guilty for not savouring every second with my much wanted baby

lrm teeny baby seaside still in stretchy kangawrap, will be interested to hear how you get on

so, all you ladies with reluctant cot sleepers / velcro babies - has anyone had any luck with swings? im wondering if baby s might go for it. babybjorn chair whilst lovely has yet to be accepted for more than 10 mins, and shes only slept in it once

ps i have chest infection. heart in mouth waiting to see whether baby s gets it. is it better to have antibiotics and risk upsetting her via bf or not? prob viral anyway. your experience is on my mind vq, i never want to go back to hospital ...

pps anyone else read the relationship board during late night feeds thinking ? makes me feel lucky, but also sure that i and everyone i know have a doomed relationship. apparently being unreasonable a lot isn't a good plan.

Bythesea. I got him a swing. He sits in it at first for a moment then added more time each day. He still crys when he goes in but then calms down. He does not like being put down. I have found put him in when a happy camper after feed and mini play. I keep eye contact talking or singing. Stay and engage with toy. This is the only place he has his dummy to chill out. I have a blanket in there and wrap around his legs so he does not get chilly. Mine was £60 on sale in Argos. Its great when I have lunch I pull it to the sofa he plays and I can eat. Hope your chest infection is better today. I had antibotics after c section and the pedestrian said it does not effect breastfeeding just makes baby poo more but does not make them poorly. Feel well soon twinkle

Ff. I took belly dancing classes with a friend once. Crap we had no rhythm. I stuck to my weights at the gym

Feel loads better today after yesterday's upset I took him out for a walk we went to a friends for a cup of tea. Did dp tea and had a nice chat about it. He knows I will never hurt him but understands somethings piss you off and you blow. Walkig away after making baby safe always the best plan and if really bad iPod on for a song or two cuddle baby till face does not bright red and scarey. Dp laughed as I done loads some 80s rock cheeky bugger. Not really had another 9 hours sleep again. The dream feed was not great he only had 2 oz but slept 11-5:30. So good baby monkey and only two massive shuffles but straight back to sleep

Does any one else feel their boobs in the night if little one wakes to know the time. ? I so and pretty good at it now. Can can thirty mins either way.

lrm glad you are having better day :) thanks for scrumptious swing photo - aaahhh! at boob clock. im always feeling mine to figure out which fed from last (memory shot), find myself doing this in public ... no dignity left! vq im too leaky for no bra, but smiled at your top-commando incident

off to have jabs - feel like crying already. shes only just got over the last lot - such a teeny sensitive tot

Bythesea. Just got back from jabs bless him what a scream he did. All ok now with mummy on the boob chilling and let him have a sleep on me

VQ. Haha. No bra. I am a tad to drippy also bythesea. Wake up some nights and think crap forgot my pads in wet t shirt again. Bummer. Bursting boobs its 5 o'clock

Anastasia is a very clever girl. It is scarey how fast our little ones are growing. Can't believe he is nearly 4 months. Spoon in hand soon Anastasia. Good girl

The milk supply thing is very incredible. The first weeks or so, when Anastasia started crying of hunger, they would leak. This morning, at 7, I was having breakfast when I suddenly felt milk coming up in both of them, Anastasia was still sleeping then ! Weird... She has now been sleeping through from 7ish to 8ish so I am not complaining at all. During awake time, I play with her on my bed or leave her on a playmat on the floor, she is happy playing on her own for 45 min, an hour. I think babies have more room on the floor to roll over or being on their tummy, and it is also safer. I never really used a swing, some of them are so lovely though but they take too much space except the BB, I sometime put her on my leather bean bag to help her sit a bit, but not more than 5 minutes really. If they can't sit by theirselves why rush ? We are moving to banana today with the spoon. She now opens her mouth wide ! So funny...
We all have moments when we want to get rid of our babies. But you are all very good at leaving them a bit to calm down, I remember with DS when he was a bit older, he had those tantrums, I just left him to scream in the entrance until he calmed down. My neighbours thought I was nuts.... But I did not care.