are mine the only children that don't sleep well??

[TinyPenguin]

dd is 2.5 yrs and ds is 10mth

dd goes to bed at 7pm gets up somewhere between half 5 & 6 but wakes at least once a night. Doesn't go down for a nap anymore but sometimes falls asleep in car if we on a fairly long journey.

ds goes to bed at half 6 wakes at 10, 1, 3, 5 & then up at about 6. Naps twice a day for 45mi. To 1hr, once in morning and once in afternoon.

basically..... I'm knackered! & fed up of "friends" telling me how well their little darlings sleep, with the aside comments that it must be something I'm doing to cause this....

please someone tell me it will get better?

I think a lot of people exaggerate how well their children sleep so i would ignore their comments unless they have been there and have helpful advice!

DS is nearly 3 and still rarely sleeps though and when he was 10 months he was very much like your youngest. I feel for you having to cope with both at once.

Not just you! Dcs are 4 and 16mths, eldest sleeps through maybe 4 nights out of 7. Baby up 2-3 times before I even get to bed then another 2-3 times through the night. I'm a bloody zombie!

DD is 3 and wakes up at least one a night (usually to sneak in the big bed), DS is 6 months and wakes up (if I'm lucky) twice a night. None of them so far slept longer than 6 am.

I'm losing hope....

You are not the only one! My 2.5 year old used to be great, but currently scared to go to bed alone and waking twice in the night. My 10 month old, is waking a lot, stopped counting or looking at clock!
My husband usually sees to older one but has been away for two weeks.
It can only get better :-/

Rubbish sleepers here too. DS1 now 3.5 wakes a couple of nights a week, he was up several times a night until 22 months. DS2, 14 months, up several times every night, often for a few hours at a time, and then up for day at 5/5.30am.

We want a third DC but I think it might just finish me off!

Gets better, though mine have never been terrific.

DS1 was awful. He rarely slept through before he was 4yo and only reliably started sleeping through when he started school.

But, he has tongue tie and a high palate which I recently found out are linked to sleeping problems because the position of the tongue can compromise the airway and the high palate can cause sleep apnoea.

Ds2 is 2.7yo and still wakes at least once a night every other night on average.

Oh yes forgot the 5:30/6am starts...aaaargh! 6:30 is a triumphant long lie!

If I wasn't sooo tired I'd tell you about my 2, age nearly 5'and nearly 3. They are still bouncing around the bedroom so I'll save it for another time....

Me too! Ages 5, 3 and 1 and I am up several times a night wiith them. Today we were up for the day at 4 am...

I don't believe it is anything that you do as a parent. My ds was a rubbish sleeper until he was about 2, I remember when he was 1-2 i used to take a 4pint of milk to bed with me to top up his bottle several times a night, he gave up a dummy at about 4 months and would only settle with a bottle of milk.

DD is 4 and still doesn't sleep through the night, no dummys or bottles there, she usually settles herself back to sleep though.

DS2 is 10 weeks old and sleeps through most nights from 7/8pm untill 6/7 and the nights he doesn't sleep through he only wakes once between 4 and 5, quick breast feed and straight back off.

If it was to do with parenting then there would be more consistency?

Be honest. Deep down, do you wish you'd done something differently when they were younger babies?

If so, then there's probably a reason why your back gets up a bit when your friends comment on their kids. You're sensitive for a reason. Own your sensitivity and know that it's your issue, not your friends'.

If not, and you did everything within your power to set up good structures for sleeping, naps, food etc, then you know you're in the right. You can be happy with yourself.

kiwiinkits: I am sensitive but mainly because I am so sleep deprived so feel a bit touchy :-) its more the fact that people tell me I should be letting them cry it out - which I find quite stressful for all involved- plus with a small house & thin walls everybody gets disturbed.

thank you for your comments, feeling slightly more human, am hoping ds gets over this separation anxiety promptly & dd returns to normal!

any suggestions how to cope?

How to cope with people's suggestions you mean? Nod and smile; nod and smile.
How to cope with tiredness? I'm not sure, can you get someone in to help you out for a while? Temporary nanny or something?

I continue to be amazed at how much other people seem to want to know about my dd's sleep habits. Even if I don't mention it at all or show any signs of tiredness people always ask about it and then feel the need to make comments. Other mums are the worst for this and always like to make the pained superior face while they tell you how their precious bundle sleeps twelve hours straight with barely a whimper.

For a bit this really bloody got to me as the implication is always that it is something you have done or not done that has caused this supposedly abnormal and abhorant sleep. The fact is my dd slept beautifully up until 4 months, not because of anything I did (I didn't do any of the routines and stuff you're supposed to) but because she was just that way inclined. She has then slept horrendously ever since, again not because of anything I have failed to do but because she hit 4 month sleep regression and then started popping out teeth at an alarming rate.

As a very wise friend of mine said, when I complained that everybody else seemed to have sleeping babies except me, 'What complete utter bollocks!'. I suspect she is correct and that other mums feel the need to tell you in great detail how fabulous their babies sleep more in a bit to convince themselves of this then you.

I have therefor taken up a policy of blunt honesty in the face of questioning about sleep. Whenever anyone asked me if dd is sleeping through yet I look at them as if they are quite deranged for asking such a stupid question and say 'Oh goodness, no!' I might expand with 'teething! Bloody nightmare, poor thing', or 'babies are somewhat notorious for reducing your sleep I hear' (with rueful shake of the head for good measure. I find that people are usually so dumbfounded by this sudden attack of breezy honesty about a babies sleep they are momentarily robbed of the power of speech and I can quickly change the subject. So far it has worked every time. :o

Gosh, that was a bit of a lengthy rant! Clearly I am feeling strongly about this today :)