In which aspect(s) of parenting are you as deliberately different from your own parents as possible?

[Frizzbonce]

I was thinking of this because my mother was terrified of strong feelings and would often contradict what I said I felt. So I would say 'I'm feeling really depressed mum because of x' and she'd say: 'No you're not - you're just sulking!' or 'This isn't you - you're normally so cheerful'. Naturally I grew up distrusting my own feelings and ashamed of feeling depressed.

So now I take my children's feelings seriously and (I hope) listen to what they have to say. I might not be able to sort their problems out but I never trivialise them. Not to say I'm not making lots of other mistakes but I'm determined that they'll never complain I didn't listen to them.

I grew up travelling, my parent's jobs meant that we were always on the move,which meant my siblings and I had a massive range of amazing experiences,been there done that, really sums it up,

but when I was pregnant with my first I decided I wanted him to grow up with a sense of belonging to one community, so I chose my favourite place in the world, moved there, and stayed put, still here,

my father still is in a different country every few days,he travels even more now he doesn't have children slowing him down,

of course my children think that my childhood experiences were enviable, but I felt the same about people who grew up in one place,

certainly my eldest has gone down a career route that will probably mean he will be on the move, no doubt his children will do what I did,

grass is always greener.

I use my mother as a model for what NOT to be like, so I pretty much endeavour to be different from her with almost every aspects of parenting.

I will not complain about money or frequently discuss how skint we are, or upset my DCs by saying how other members of the extended family don't like us because we don't have money. I will not burden my children with my emotional problems (thanks Dad - you're lovely but it was so depressing!)

I will not let my 15 year old DD go to nightclubs or stay in bedsits with strange men I don't know. Jesus.

• having my dc vaccinated
• taking them to a proper doctor when they are ill

oh, and hugging/kissing/cuddling and saying I love you

OMG. huge hugs to everyone on this thread

I let my ds know he is loved, important, clever and amazing everyday.

I dont hit him, i dont unleash terrible viscious anger on him, i dont swear at him, call him names and dismiss him.
I dont abuse him or use him as a pair of hands around the house.

In short, i am a different person and parent to my child purposefully and with determination.

I suspect my mother would disapprove of the way I live my life if she were alive, but at the same time she would love my DSs and tell everyone else they are lovely, well brought up children.

The differences are - I work FT, she was SAHM; she had drink issues and smoked a lot, i don't. She was very critical of me "Your O level results were the biggest disappointment of my life" (I got 3As and 6Bs), and very mean with money (buying me clothes etc). I wasn't deprived at all, but life wasn't much fun at times. My DSs are 8 and 5 are seem extremely happy with their lot. Long may it continue.