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Parenting

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Original poster

How much baby/child free time you have?

44 replies

newmummytobe79 · 15/09/2012 12:56

apart from work?

I have friends and family who are so opposite in child rearing that I really don't know what's normal anymore.

Some have gone for meals when baby is a couple of weeks old and then continue to have their weekend social life (whether it be as a couple or lads/girls nights out), go to the gym, shopping etc

Then there are others that have children heading towards their teens who I really don't think they've ever been for a meal at night without their kids, turn down invites where kids are not invited etc

I think we have a happy medium of the odd night out every couple of months - with a few on the bounce over the summer/Christmas period.

How much baby/child free time do you have?

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SirGOLDBoobs · 15/09/2012 13:01

I'm with you - I think I have a happy medium. I enjoy spending time with my DS, but am also lucky enough to have the odd night out. More since I've been with DP as he babysits for me

I can't imagine going out when baby was a few weeks old, that's really sad.

sleepingbunnies · 15/09/2012 13:04

We have a night out a month (money allowing) but I do go out about 3 times a month - in the evenings when my DDs are in bed. Weekends are family time so Rarely go out without my kids at weekends.

I too know many people who life doesn't seem to change for after children but that's not for me. I had children to see them, spend time with them and make memories they will treasure forever!!

ThreeEdgedSword · 15/09/2012 13:04

I have 1 night a week completely to myself, other half watches DS while I have a night out with my friends. One or two weekends a month when he stays with grandparents. One week holiday each year when his grandparents take him to the seaside.

Plus I can get away with organising the babysitter for special occasions, birthdays and weddings etc.

Wow, if I wasn't a SAHM I'd barely see him! Didn't realise how much time I had to myself!

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sleepingbunnies · 15/09/2012 13:05

^ you need time to yourself being a SAHM!! X

ThreeEdgedSword · 15/09/2012 13:07

I did have a night out when DS was two weeks old, but it was forced on me my aunt was worried I would slip into PND as I had barely left the house in that time.

Her advice, which I still stick to, was "you are still you. Nobody minds if you take the time out to remember that".

ThreeEdgedSword · 15/09/2012 13:07

Thank you sleepingbunnies

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 15/09/2012 13:10

About 3 hours on a saturday afternoon when DH takes them to see MiL and 6 hours a day when they are at school.
If you mean DH and I together, we could go out if we wanted to, the advantage of having an older teen to babysit for a few hours, but don't do it very often. Once this year so far, for three hours. Neither of us has been out at night without the other for years, I can't remember the last time.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 15/09/2012 13:10

I had more time to myself when I was in Mat Leave but now back at work im too shattered to want to anything apart from laze on my settee.

Dd goes to bed at 6.30, so we essentially have every evening. Dh has xbox night on a friday, so I may go round a friends with a bottle of wine for the evening, and once every couple of.months MIL has dd overnight so we go out.

Could have more, but am too tired most of the time.

HeidiHole · 15/09/2012 13:11

I get baby free time from 7pm when he's in bed :) does that count? We go out for dinner maybe once a month with him in bed and a grandparent sitting downstairs in case he wakes. Which he doesn't.

Baby is 4 months old and our restaurant of choice is on the next street anyway!

MimsyBorogroves · 15/09/2012 13:14

I have a 4 year old and a 9 month old. Since we relocated 16 months ago we have been out once for a couple of hours, before DS2 was born.

Before we relocated DS1 was with his dad every other weekend, so that was child free, plus my parents would have him overnight every couple of months.

Would love a child free evening but it's simply not viable here.

bigsnugglebunny · 15/09/2012 13:15

I have three children, two at school and one who is 15 months - I get an hour on a Wednesday for Tai Chi and that's about it. (Can't count sleep, cos we co-sleep... lol)

LtEveDallas · 15/09/2012 13:16

None! I work, so am child free 8-5 daily but we don't go out or go away without her.

Oh, actually I've thought of something - the summer ball and the Xmas ball. We go out then. We even go out as a family on NY Eve!

It doesn't really bother me, but I do think I'm pretty abnormal in this respect. I think all parents probably need some time to themselves regularly. I'm boring though, so work is enough. I expect when I retire I'll be climbing the walls.

ThreeEdgedSword · 15/09/2012 13:17

Hmm, didn't include post-7PM when DS is in bed. But I'm not sure that counts, since that's taken up with the housework I couldn't do when he was up...lol

I don't include that time, I have no option but to stay in. Although I do indulge in a few beers with dinner

RedDevilBattery · 15/09/2012 13:17

DP doesn't live with us so I go to see her one evening a week without the children. I also go to see my parents for a weekend once a month, sometimes with dcs, sometimes alone.

This past holiday, the dcs' plans all worked out so DP and I went on holiday by ourselves.

GodisaDj · 15/09/2012 13:17

DD is 13 months. I work from home part time (14 hours) and tend not to get time off during the day/week as I'll fit my work in around DD's naps or if she goes to my MIL's.

But from 6 weeks old, I went back to netball once a week and from 4 months old, twice a week, which is normally a couple of hours over two nights. Nice to get out, have fun and get fit.

DP and I have a meal out once a month ish too. I'd like to think DD fitted in to our life rather than changed it but she did change me! I didn't want to return to work or leave her and I was very much career driven pre-dd. At the same time, I was ready for her, ready to be a mum and had not enjoyed drunken nights out for a while before she arrived.

We definitely had an easy baby though (compared to some friends I know who couldn't leave their breastfed baby, I managed to from 6 weeks) and I know that makes a HUGE difference in how you feel about leaving children with other people.

I had my first "night" off two weeks ago (as in all night no breastfeeding etc) when I had a girly night out and got very drunk. It was fun, felt 21 again, but man a hangover is hard when you have a kid to look after - dancing shoes have been put away for a couple more months!

Nagoo · 15/09/2012 13:19

not asleep? prob an hour twice a week while Baby Goo is at nursery.

DH does sometimes take them out on Saturday afternoons, but I go to sleep then too [shiftwork]

My mum or MIL has them for us maybe once a month for a night out.

OrangeEyesDoMoreThanSee · 15/09/2012 13:21

DD is 2. We have never been out in an evening together since she was born. We do sneak lunch in once a month and occasionally both work from home on the same day. One of us still has to take DD to nursery but the rewards are worth it

FunnysInLaJardin · 15/09/2012 13:23

I go to the gym twice a week for a couple of hours and DH and I go out probably about 6 times a year for dinner/cinema/theatre on our own. However over the summer I've not been going to the gym much as we all enjoy our time together so much.

Not sure about being sad about going out when the baby is only a few weeks. I did with both from about 6 weeks.

HairyToothbrush · 15/09/2012 13:25

I get the 20 mins it takes to have a beth every night. Havent been away from DD for longer than 3 hours since she wad born and she's 12 months! Not through choice though.

HairyToothbrush · 15/09/2012 13:25

Bath*!

tunnocksteacake · 15/09/2012 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrangeEyesDoMoreThanSee · 15/09/2012 13:30

I get 3 days while I am at work and half of saturdays (DH takes DD to his Mums or to the park)

I did do an evening class once a week but fell by the wayside yawn

PooPooOnMars · 15/09/2012 13:32

For us it is rare because the only people who could help with the children chose not to and we can't afford a babysitter very often. So we don't get much time alone without the children although more recently we have been going out separately.

I have at most gone 20odd months without a single other person apart from dh helping with the children. This was during a time when i really, really needed help! They just said no. During that time i hardly went out alone either. The time before and after the help only came once a year or so and was begrudged.

It would have helped enormously to have someone watch them for a few hours every now and then or to be able to go out to work. Not that work is easier as such, but because i think its the doing the same thing (and for me it is a challenging thing) all day every single day, so a change would have been very welcome. It would have helped with my depression, for me to cope and would have been better for my children as well, in many ways although i suppose mostly not to be stuck with a depressed not coping mum all day every day.

I also worked as well at night when my dcs were asleep and sometimes when they were awake so was looking after them at the same time. (sighs with exhaustion)
Ho hum.

Mintyy · 15/09/2012 13:32

You are not being unreasonable to ask anything.

You can be unreasonable to think, do or say things, but its really not unreasonable to ask a simple question.

fotheringhay · 15/09/2012 13:38

Mintyy!

I think maybe dh and I are unusual - often in evenings/weekends we'll all be together, but just as often one will ask the other "shall I have ds for a bit?" and the other one goes and does their own thing for an hour or two. This mostly means me catching up on chores, but I could just as easily meet a friend for a drink/go for a walk/have a bath.

Keeps us both sane. Don't think it'll be so possible when ds2 arrives though!

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