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Parenting

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Original poster

How much baby/child free time you have?

44 replies

newmummytobe79 · 15/09/2012 12:56

apart from work?

I have friends and family who are so opposite in child rearing that I really don't know what's normal anymore.

Some have gone for meals when baby is a couple of weeks old and then continue to have their weekend social life (whether it be as a couple or lads/girls nights out), go to the gym, shopping etc

Then there are others that have children heading towards their teens who I really don't think they've ever been for a meal at night without their kids, turn down invites where kids are not invited etc

I think we have a happy medium of the odd night out every couple of months - with a few on the bounce over the summer/Christmas period.

How much baby/child free time do you have?

OP posts:

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nailak · 15/09/2012 13:38

None

Marrow · 15/09/2012 13:40

Don't really have any. They are both in bed by 8pm so technically the evenings are child free but we have only been out twice on our own in the last three years! Would love some time to myself though!

raindroprhyme · 15/09/2012 13:46

I get Monday night 6- 9.30,
DH gets Tuesaday night 5.30 -6.30,
I get Wednesday 6 -7,
DH gets Thursday 7-9
DH gets 6 hours on Saturday during rugby season.
Once a month we will have a night seperately with friends and occasionally I get a whole day if I have choir rehearsals or a performance, once or twice a term maybe.

We have grandparents from both sides available who often take all or a selection of the DC's to do something at the weekend and offer to have them over night regularly so we can have a meal out and a full night sleep.(once a month offer, maybe take them up on it every other time) We have 3 boys ages 11,7,and 2 and half year old.

We both work part time and the boys half lots of after school activities and busy wee lives themselves.
I was last on a girly rip roaring drunk weekend in May whole weekend and had an day with a friend and overnight in a hotel with hubby and me in June.

We have a good balance but most of our family time is spent at home chilling out, because individually as a family we are out and about doing stuff we like and love cuddling up on the sofa as family to relax.

We always eat together once a day and everyone has to come home after school before going out again just to touch base.

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uptothestars · 15/09/2012 13:58

Far too much. ExP has the dd's 3 nights a week including one Fri or sat night and all day the following day (on a weekend)

Needless to say the times I have the dd's is solely for me and them.

thebeesnees79 · 15/09/2012 14:03

we get hardly any child free time apart from when they are at school or pre school.
The last wedding we went to they were invited, I don't go the gym and don't work at the minute (36 weeks pregnant) so almost 100% of my time is with our two kids. It would be lovely if someone offered to babysit but no one ever does :(

ben5 · 15/09/2012 14:05

dh is in the navy and has been away for the last 18 weks. i have no family near by. my time is when they are at school and the 2 days friends have had them in this time. i also work school hours. But I would not change this for the world and hubby should be home in the next5-6 weeks so will hopefully get some time then!!!

AmIthatbad · 15/09/2012 14:08

DD is 13. She goes to a group evey two weeks, so I get and hour and a half to myself.

And from Oct - Mar I go out for two hours once a week to a hobby.

The rest of the time, it is me and her, although I get a weekend every year to go to a festival

I would love to go to the gym, take up more interests, go out for drinks with friends, etc. But this is my life and I have no choice

Yama · 15/09/2012 14:13

Not much. I had a weekend away earlier in the year and I'll be going to the Christmas Night Out.

Suits me just fine [lazy].

Kveta · 15/09/2012 14:13

since DD (3 months) was born, I have had 15 minutes away from the house without her or DS. that was yesterday, walking to pick up DS.

in the 3 years since DS was born, I have had 2 evenings out on my own without him - both for work - and DH and I have been to the cinema 3 times without him. DH goes out one evening a month or so after work. apart from that, we are only apart from the children for work. even on our wedding night DS was in our bed.

when the kids are older though we will look into babysitters for the odd evening out.

curiousgeorgie · 15/09/2012 14:15

DH stays in with DD Monday night while I have dinner / see a movie with friends.
My parents have DD while we do a pub quiz on a Tuesday.
I stay in with DD while DH plays football on a Wednesday evening.
My SIL has DD Friday afternoons and I clean / shop / fit in dentist or whatever is pressing.

And DH takes DD swimming every Saturday morning, so I get to lie in and then go meet them for the afternoon.

But I did give up my job so I'm with her the rest of the time :)

Yama · 15/09/2012 14:16

Oh yes, dh and I went to T in The Park this year too. Our last year though, my body can't it any more although I do remember at the time thinking I was having a great time and I should do stuff like this more often.

curiousgeorgie · 15/09/2012 14:16

In contrast my friends DS is the same age and she had her first evening away from him last week. (almost two years!!)

We're pretty lucky with siblings and parents, we do get to go out a lot.

MNHQ

KatMumsnet · 15/09/2012 14:32

Hi there, we've moved this into Parenting, as it's not really an AIBU. Thanks.

AngelDog · 15/09/2012 14:59

I'm a SAHM with a 2.8 y.o. DS and I get maybe an hour every month or so, when grandparents visit and take him out. DH also takes him out for an afternoon every 2-4 months. We've never been out in the evening without him, nor for more than an hour together while the GPs look after him.

DS had dreadful separation anxiety, though, and wouldn't be left with anyone at all until 18 months, and still won't be left with anyone other than grandparents. They only visit every 4-6 weeks for an afternoon, so they're not able to do much childcare.

I used to have an evening out every month or so, but DH has been too busy lately for me to be able to do it.

charlottehere · 15/09/2012 15:14

Term time, three days a week. We have been out 2/3 times in the last year. DD1 is never in bed before 9 and we go to sleep at 10 during the week, at the weekend DD1 and 2 mostly stay with us until we go to bed. DC4 due in december so no child free time for a while.

charlottehere · 15/09/2012 15:18

Forgot to add, at the mo Dh takes all 3 out lots at weekend.

liveinazoo · 15/09/2012 15:29

If school doesnt count ,then none
have no relatives to help.friends wouldnt have 3dcs under 8,cant afford a sitter

sometimes i feel like im going mad,thats when MN comes into its own givng me a link to the outside world!!!!!

its never been any different though so its case of if you haent had something you dont miss it

lola88 · 15/09/2012 19:22

I have zumba on a wed where DP has DS who's in bed, Zumba and toning class on a friday morning for 2 hours where my gran has DS sometimes my sister takes him for a couple of hours during the day (i do the same for her) and he stays with his nana 2/3 nights a month we can't afford to go out but have some quality time.

It's great to have me time but i'm very lucky in having a very close family who love having him if i had to pay babysitters i doubt i would leave him at all and wouldn't leave him with anyone other than my close family even his grandad because he doesn't see him the others he says almost daily and they know him pretty much as well as i do. DS is a terrible sleeper so those few nights a month save my sanity :)

Octopus37 · 15/09/2012 19:29

Until recently I had very little, during DS2's first year I didn't have a night off as he wouldn't take expressed milk. I think I managed an hour at the laundrette by myself once, did me in and think I ended up bordering on PND. During the last nine months or or so (DS's aer 5 and 2.7 months now), have had one or two nights out a month, occasionally with DH, usually with friends. Occasionally I mgith pop up to see one of my friends for a couple of hourse in the evening. Have spent the last two years working around my kids (I do mystery shopping and auditing) which has been getting increasingly hard, so DS2 now goes to nursery 4 morning from 9-1 (included lunch), early days but this has made a real difference. I am working during about half of this time (I am trying to build my work up and need to be flexible), but even though it is early days has been great to have a bit of time to myself to do housework. So far so good, very grateful to be able to do this and hoping that it will make me boundary work and housework around the kids more. Haven't had a night away on my own since had my second DS. DH and I haven't had a night away without the kids, my MIL is able to babysit for a couple of hours or possibly in an evening when the kids are in bed but anymore would be too much for her.

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