Broken hearted over my DS

[DistressedMumHELP]

Okay, i want help and reassurance really. I have name changed for this in case anyone recognises me. I was stopped and asked for an account of events yesterday after witnessing an altercation and the police officer noticed the bruise on my little boys cheek. Which i explained was where he had fallen in between the step and bench in my garden, they then noticed he has bruises on his legs around his knees, so eventually they arrested me on suspicion of ABH. I was of course a mess, but i was told at the time that it was procedure etc, so i was compliant with them, Last night i got released on police bail and was of course expecting my little boy back, but today after seeing social services they have said i cant have him returned to me. I am heart broken, i have never hurt my child on purpose, and i look after him as best as possible. Originally they were saying he didnt talk, but today in front of the social worker he was talking, and i am trying to explain that he gets shy about talking, when they say he is friendly etc. They went through all my history and i have been as open as possible with them, and i dont know what to do. They want to keep him in care and are applying for a court order on friday to do so. I plan on seeing a solicitor tomorrow, the only reason i didnt today was because i didnt leave the social services until half 5 so no where was open.

I NEED A HUG. I PROMISE I WOULD NEVER HURT HIM AND FEEL THAT JUST A FEW BRUISES HAVE TAKEN MY SON FROM ME.

I want him home. Does anyone have any experiences? How long will it take? They said they couldnt say,

I think op you are posting far too much information on the internet and you really don't want this to come to light. You do realise your story will be read by possibly thousands of people? I think this is too serious to be so public. I might be wrong about the implications though.

beattgeodds, I'm interested to hear of your legal precedent. Can you list your sources please.

Sorry that was supposed to say BeatTheOdds

Can this thread be moved over to the safer place?

It's never happened before? But OP, your son is a baby still, there has been very little of his life lived yet.
The children I have experience of were at primary school, where the abuse had gone unnoticed for months or years. So in this case, the SS and the police have stepped in early enough for the possible abuse to be stopped quickly.
You knew nothing of what this man had become? No one told you or warned you?
You could have ended up in a long-term relationship with your son as a victim. Again.
Working with the authorities is your best shot, and I'm pleased you now have a solicitor, but the focus should be on your son having the best childhood possible.
Him being safe and cared for should be the top of everyone's agenda.

Which is why as soon as i knew i took every step, an injunction, as soon as i got out of court today i spoke to the police etc, done everything possible. No, no one warned me how much they had changed, just said they fell out of contact. Which i did with a lot of my friends for several years.

I have fully cooperated with the authorities, he was only staying with me because he had problems with the room he was in not permanent < as i have said no one is moving in/living with me!!!!>

My ex was abusive i admit to that, but as soon as it affected him I LEFT, I cant change my past, obviously i am learning to trust no one. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. I get to see him tomorrow,

Think about quality of contact was too son to judge on one 45 minute session where you were just told he wouldnt come home, how are you supposed to be happy and why would my little boy be smiling when he comes and sees mummy crying? When i put on a smile he started smiling and he came straight too me and i picked him up and hugged him and he kissed me and me back. I would have thought if a child was scared they wouldnt do that. Also as to his speech, the social worker did hear him asking me "whats that" which i had already said was his favourite words at the moment but he rarely repeats what you tell him it is until he sees that again, ie a car or a bus, he will point and say whats that and i will respond car, and he will ask and i say its a RED car or a BLUE car, then when we next go out he will often point and go caarr

I should add even when i was severely ill with post natal depression I never ever hurt him, so obviously SS were involved back then, but not due to me being likely to harm him, more on the grounds of the reasons pf my depression which was the abuse i was then experiencing.

Abusers are clever, they seem lovely til you get to know them.

Or more accurately they show their true colours.

DistressedMom...please have a think about posting so much information. You are absolutely doing everything correctly by cooperating with Police and SS. I understand this entire situation must make you feel angry and out of control. Please know that everyone is looking out for the best interest of your darling son. Perhaps, it might be best to continue seeking advise from solicitor and comfort from RL friends.

What I think you need to do OP is make sure you are putting your ds welfare and his safety, need and interest first at all times, with every choice you make every step of the way. Sadly I think that maybe this has not happened and that is why this situation has occured, You have obviously not willfilly caused your ds any harm or neglect, but it seems that you have placed him some fairly risky situations of late and that is what you need to prove to be able to change and work towards that change.

When you think you know and can trust someone you think its safe to leave them to go into the next room or to put the kettle on, i mean would you leave an old friend in your living room while making a cup of tea with your child(ren)

I'm still rather perplexed about this story though.

OP was stopped for a totally unrelated incident.
OP's son had (as far as I can see) explainable bruises
OP's life has been trawlled through and (unconnected?) issues have arisen
OP is now having to fight through a court to see / have her son live with her.

That (and I'm not saying I don't believe it) is really scary stuff.

I am going to do everything social services suggests

I am sorry to say I would not have "an old friend" to stay in my house because of my dcs welfare and no I probably would not leave my dc and go and make a cup of tea, no. I think that is fairly standard of most parents too, ecpecially if I did not know very much about this "old friend". I dont mean to judge OP but I just want to help you understand that what you may view as rational and ok judgements and choices where your Dc is concerned may not be what is considered safe and O.K by may others, because it does place your dc at risk.

School there is the potential that a friend of the op has hurt her son and potentially bitten him.

Op those courses sound very positive. You need good people in your life.

Unless the man she's been sharing a house with was already known to the police, that she's moved out of one DV situation with a 2 year old and into another potentially risky situation, and that SS were already involved in supporting a vulnerable person. Then there is an incident that requires a police presence that she's a witness to, and her toddler.
Lots of small concerns. Building up.

I think that is a very valued and mature lesson to tell your self OP and certainly a very positive message for your and your dcs future.

Well its all what i have asked for and i asked the police to refer me to counselling services so i am doing everything in my powers to put things right.

School they are not really "not conected incidents" they are when put together a string of potentialy very risky and abusive situations where her baby has been exposed to extreme and quite disturbing violance and agrression. The cahin of events have triggered someone to look into these "un conceted" incidents and build a fairly accurate bigger picture of Op and dcs situation that will be harmfull to DC if measures are not taken.

and keep posting Op if you need any further support.

Read all the Op's posts again, schoolanxiety. Just her posts and no one else's.
Can you see the little pieces of information building up into a more detailed picture?

It sounds like SSD are questioning your ability to keep your child safe. So its (almost) irrelevant that someone else may have bitten your child, what the important thing here that needs to be proven, is how capable you are of keeping your child from harm from other people. Have you thought about, and what things you would do to keep your child from harm from others in the future? I'm not asking you to answer this here, only to really think about the question.

Sorry missed a word
have you thought about this*

Well its not irrelevant as I am only bailed on suspicion of ABH to my DS, if i can prove i didnt cause those injuries that will of course be dropped I doubt they would charge me with just that surely?

My solicitor did say that me not being charged would help/