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Original poster

Do your DC watch tv in their rooms at bedtime and sleep with the light on?

56 replies

AugustMoon · 20/08/2012 22:30

Mine do Sad DH has got them tvs and they watch netflix at night. They are boys, 9 and 5 (way too young IMO). They also sleep with the light on as DH says they're scared of the dark. I feel it's stopping them getting a good night's sleep but if I dim the light he turns it up again saying it's 'dingey' (sp).

OP posts:
Original poster
AugustMoon · 20/08/2012 22:32

Actually really upsets me as this is not how I want to raise my kids but I feel o have no say in it.

OP posts:
BonkeyMollocks · 20/08/2012 22:33

Yes its far too young and not good for anyone of any age to sleep with the light or tv on!

Get them a night light if they are worried. Tv will be affecting their sleep! You may find they get to a point where they can't get off to sleep without it on, my db has this problem now after letting his ds have a dvd for bed.

And what the hell is your dh doing? Are the dc's actually bothered about the dark?

JaquelineHyde · 20/08/2012 22:34

No televisions in bedrooms at all.

The 2 DD's (7 and 5) sleep in the pitch black and DS (6) who isn't a fan of the dark has a small night light torch thingy that barely gives off any light and he has actually started falling asleep with it off.

Your DH is crackers and needs sorting out.

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BadRoly · 20/08/2012 22:34

My older 3 all have lights in their rooms at night which we have tried to make as dim as possible while keeping them happy! No TVs though but they all have a CD player for story tapes.

When ds1 was having problems getting to sleep, I read up on all sorts but one thing was that red light is 'better' than blue tones. Could you look at getting red bulbs/lamp shades/lights? We've ended up with the little light things from Ikea.

Shakey1500 · 20/08/2012 22:34

Why have you no say?? It's a partnership isn't it?

DS is 5 and has a small light but no TV.

fivegomadindorset · 20/08/2012 22:36

DD goes to sleep watching a DVD, she doesn't last long, likes to go to sleep listening to something and then sleeps with light off and door shut, she is 6.

marquesas · 20/08/2012 22:36

No and no.

Personally I don't want my DCs to have TVs in their bedrooms.Each to their own but its not for me.

Having the light on however I do think isn't a good thing as I think we sleep better in the dark. Can you switch off the lights once the children have fallen asleep so they have some time in the dark?

sittinginthesun · 20/08/2012 22:37

No tv in bedrooms, and we leave the landing light on and doors slightly open.

I would be worried if you feel you are not getting a say in parenting styles, though. Something like this should be agreed between you as parents.

joanofarchitrave · 20/08/2012 22:37

So this is quite a major disagreement between the two of you.

I think the TVs and the lights should be separate issues tbh. TVs: why do you feel it's wrong to have TVs in the bedroom, and more to the point, why do you feel you have no say in that?

Re the light, my dh is slightly the same, he was very scared of the dark as a child. Would he compromise on a nightlight, and if not, why not?

Claire2009 · 20/08/2012 22:37

DD is 6 & DS is 5, every now & then they watch a dvd in my bed after a bath/book, then they go to their beds after with lights out. They won't be having tv's in their rooms anytime soon!

winnybella · 20/08/2012 22:40

Of course you have a say, you're their mother. I can't imagine sleeping with a light on is beneficial to the quality of sleep. They most certainly don't need it, just your silly DH has made them think that.

Only one tv here, in the living room. DC can watch it for a bit in the afternoon, but not before bedtime. They read in bed before turning the light off (well, DD is read to).

Why don't you do a google search re: sleeping with light on and children watching too much tv etc and print the results off and show them to your DH? Then just install new rules.

Hassled · 20/08/2012 22:43

My rule is that you get a telly in your room when you're 13, and not before.

Your problem isn't the tellies or the light, though, is it? Your problem is that you marriage is not an equal partnership. You need to be able to sit down and make compromises and have discussions and find a route you're both happy with.

cheesesarnie · 20/08/2012 22:43

ofcourse you have a say, theyre your children!
if the dc know that mummy has no say, theyre going to start walking all over you. you need to sit down with him, discuss and comprimise. it could be tv for 15-20 minutes and lights on dim or a night light so that you both have a say.

mine are 12, 11 and 6-no tvs.
the 11 and 6 y/o sleep with night lights

hardboiledpossum · 20/08/2012 22:45

I have read that sleeping with the light on can increase risk in cancer

overthemill · 20/08/2012 22:45

everybody should stop TV/DVs/PC use at least an hour before bedtime and sleep in a dark room. I cant believe people who have tvs in their kids rooms - especially at this age! What the heck are they thinking of? Even if you want them watching TV shouldnt you be watching it WITH them? ffs

however, even though the evidence goes against it, I allow my dd to sleep with the light on as she has nightmares and we live in a road with no street lighting so it is pitch black when she wakes up confused and distressed. But am desperately trying to wean he ff this (she is 13)

overthemill · 20/08/2012 22:47

hassled our rule is you get a TV in your bedroom when you have 11 grade A* GCSEs. No-one, not even us, has a TV in their room in this house Grin

hardboiledpossum · 20/08/2012 22:47

I think if your child is scared then a small light is probably a good idea.

Eurostar · 20/08/2012 22:49

Are they scared of the dark? The best way to get over any fear of something is exposure to it so you learn it is not dangerous. If they are scared, they need others ways to get help with it rather than just avoid it. Without dark, sleep hormones get disrupted and that's not really good for getting restful sleep.

Can you read to them at night before they go to sleep rather than have telly on? This is so much better for them, less stimulation, more connection to you.

Are there other areas of your relationship where you feel ignored?

imogengladhart · 20/08/2012 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissPricklePants · 20/08/2012 22:52

nope, dd does not have a tv in her room and I limit how much she watches in the day (she would quite happily watch it all day!) as I would rather do other things with her. She does have a nightlight on in her room but tbh doubt she would notice if I took it as it is quite dim.

Boggler · 20/08/2012 22:55

Definitely no lights on and definitely no tv for ds who is 8. We leave the landing light on until we go to bed and then all lights are off.

Im sure that I've read somewhere that sleeping in a light room is really bad for your eyesight and massively increases the chances of needing glasses. Your dh is frankly bonkers making them sleep with full lights on - buy a nightlight!

Original poster
AugustMoon · 20/08/2012 23:43

Thanks - this is what I expected. I've got a newborn so haven't been as hands-on with the others at bedtime lately. I've been thinking 'it's summer holidays, a few late nights won't hurt' but it's getting worse and it's going to be hard when they're back at school if we keep on like this.

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 20/08/2012 23:45

My son does not, and never will have (whilst he lives with me), a TV in his bedroom. I control how much he watches, and what he watches. That's my job - I'm his parent. My son is 13, and does not question it. Ages 5 and 9 are definitely far too young. They will not self-limit the amount they watch, and they could be exposed to images you do not want them to see at this young age.

"They also sleep with the light on as DH says they're scared of the dark." Have they ever said they're scared of the dark? Is your husband scared of the dark or just a copmplete arse ? It is not healthy to sleep with lights on.

"this is not how I want to raise my kids but I feel o have no say in it."
Why do you feel you have no say in this matter? You do, you're their mother. Tell your husband he is wrong. Remove the TVs from their room, buy a nightlight as a precaution and switch the bedroom lights off. Tell your husband this is how it's going to be.

Or is this an example of overbearing behaviour/an abusive relationship?

CleoSmackYa · 20/08/2012 23:53

My daughter has a television in her room (she's 5) but it only plays DVDs. I don't let her watch it to fall asleep to. It's the only TV we own and she's not really bothered by it. I leave the landing light on at night, mostly because the toilets right at the tops of the stairs and I'm paranoid she (probably be me though) will slip in the dark!

RillaBlythe · 21/08/2012 06:14

Hmm, my DD goes to sleep with her bedside light on. I turn it off when I go to bed & leave her with her nightlight on. Had never considered it a problem until reading this thread! But no TV.

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