i've cocked up

[whattodoo]

It was the anniversary of a loved one (now deceased) birthday today.
I knew that no-one else was able to take flowers to the crem, which we've always done on important dates.
I took my 4yo DD, telling her a bright and breezy version of where we were going and why.
I kept a happy face on all the time and we looked at the lovely flowers
I told her our relative us in a special place and can see our flowers.
All was well.
Now she is sobbing and after much coaxing eventually said that she doesn't want to go to the special place.
What a prat I am. I'm devastated that I've upset ny darling girl.

Please don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault. All children have a sudden realization that they will die, and it's good that she feels comfortable enough with you to share her fears.
When my DS came to this realization, we talked about what happened when you die, and we spoke about different faiths and what different people think about it. He decided that he believed in reincarnation, and the thought that one day he may be a python has made it easier to cope :)

You haven't upset her, you have gently guided her in to learing about death.

I would reassure her that she isn't going to a special place not until she is really wrinkley with grey hair and all her teeth have fallen out.

If she asks if you will go I would say not for a very very long time when you will be as tall as mummy and have your own babies ec etc

Just try to reassure her and take her mind off it for now so she can sleep.

Bless her.

Thank you for your kind words both.
I know its something that needs introducing at some point, and I thought she'd be OK, I answered all her questions.
But I guess she is more of a thinker than I realised.