Putting a stairgate on a toddler's bedroom door - controversial?

[DitaVonCheese]

Every morning 3 yo DD comes and climbs into bed with us. This is lovely. Unfortunately she does it 30 min before the alarm goes off and is hellbent on waking us up - chatting, jumping up and down, opening the curtains etc. This is infuriating. Nothing seems to get through to her that actually mummy and daddy really really need those 30 minutes of sleep. How in hell's name two nightowls produced a bona fide morning person I do not know.

Anyway, I have just suggested putting a stairgate on her bedroom door until she's let out in the morning. I wasn't actually serious, largely because I don't think it would work, I think she'd just howl, plus I do actually like cuddling her first thing. I'm just a bit taken aback by DH's response - he was absolutely horrified and said it was probably illegal, or ought to be. I thought it was really common - so is he right or do I just hang out with a lot of scary parents?

Don't forget to tell him I'm on his side!

I have 1 on my twins room even though they are still in a cot. I think its only a mater of time before they climb out of their cot and i will not put a gate on the top of the stair because i think its unsafe (my niece broke her arm falling down the stairs because she lent against the gate and the gate landed on her). Much prefer them to be in their room where its safe if they ever escaped the cot.

Health visitor agreed with me

I had one. Mostly because, owing to the layout of the staircase, I couldn't put a stair-gate on that. Is your DH easily alarmed?

I definitely plan to do this as our DTs nursery is on a kind of mezzanine floor with a small set of stairs down to bathroom (then a main staircase to downstairs) and a small set of stairs up to our room, it's either that or buy 3 gates for upstairs! Don't see the problem with it really

I did it. Even when they did learn how to open them it meant the little clicking noise alerted me to a small person on an early morning wander.

Our DS is a sleepwalker & has night terrors and we did it for his own safety. We can't fit one at the stairs we have very wide Edwardian staircases and his bedrooms on the middle floor. It took him very little time to work out how to climb over it in the day though but it stopped him taking a tumble when he was asleep.
We only managed to get him to stay in bed with one of those sleep training clocks (he wasn't allowed up before bunny) and that took a while and a lot of persistence by mummy that it would be worth it in the end.

When I found my son wondering our old flat at 3am, confused in the dark as to where he was, at the age of about 23 months, I put a gate on his door the next day.

Now that we are in a house, he still has a gate on his door. He'll be 3 on Monday.

We are thinking of moving it to the top of the stairs as he has this habit of just standing there in the morning, not making a sound, waiting for someone to notice and I have no idea how long he's been there! If we move it to the top of the stairs, hell be able to come into our room and get me/his dad but not go wandering all over the house!

I had one too... Also on sitting room so I didn't have to shut the door on her but could safely leave the room. Also have impossible to gate stairs.

Show him the lindam FAQ page: www.lindam.com/faqs.html

We have one too. We have a very steep staircase between our room and dd1's room and the thought of her staggering, half asleep across to our room in the middle of the night filled me with horror. No way to put a stairgate on the stairs.

The fact that at 4.5 she hasn't graduated from our bed yet is by the by... :o

I did it, although by three a Groclock worked.

I have just removed ours - kids are 5 and 3! We couldn't fit one on our stupid stairs so have had one on the door since they were babies.

I've got a traumatic memory based on this! I won't bore you, but basically please don't do it once you've started toilet training.

It's worked for us as a reassurance that DD won't go launching herself down the stairs but with regards to her standing and yelling "I'm awake, I'm awake, where are you all?, I want my Brefkus, I'm awake" on a loop, well, we were on to a loser there as I feel you may also be

Foofy

Well, DH is unrepentant (if cleanshaven ) this morning - he thinks it's wrong because the intent is to restrain her for our own comfort rather than for safety (we already have a gate at the top of the stairs which will stay there now DS is crawling and still blissfully unaware of danger).

He said again it was the same as closing her door and locking it and I said it wasn't because you can't see or hear through a solid wooden door. He wants to know whether those of you with stairgates on their DC's bedroom doors would put a mesh door across - I don't see the difference between a mesh door and a stairgate

I have a gate on my 5 year old DS's bedroom because our puppy thinks his bedroom is one big giant puppy pad (no other rooms, just his!), I don't see a problem with it for toddlers either, far safer than her going into the kitchen while you are asleep and playing in the knife drawer I suppose, and it's only for 30 minutes in the morning.

We are going to do this. But looking at how high the door handles are on DS's room it looks like he won't reach then until he's 10

I had one across my own bedroom door as I coslept (still do but don't need a gate now). 99% of the time I'd wake when he did but sometimes I wouldn't so needed something to keep him from the stairs. Couldn't put one at the top of the stairs because of an odd set up there.

I think at 3 maybe think of other ideas to get that 30 minutes of sleep rather than a baby gate. An alarm clock for your DD so she can get up and quietly play until it goes off? Or something similar?

The already has a gate actuss the stairs. So her dd won't be rummaging in the knife drawer......

We have a gate on DS's door and one at the top of the stairs. But we sleep on a different floor so if he did need us, he would have to use stairs and he's too little for that.

It's a belt an braces approach, but much better than the alternative!

I second the person that suggested a gro clock. If your DH is so against it then another method might be better. (I do agree that he's wrong though)

What if your DD needed the bathroom? You'd have to get up to open the gate anyway.
(just wondering as my 4 year old still can't open our gate ) It is a good idea otherwise.

"he thinks it's wrong because the intent is to restrain her for our own comfort "

ROFL..... He is a class muppet isn't he? In what parallel universe is it wrong for parents to benignly manipulate their child's behaviour for their own comfort? Giving a child ultimate freedom but ending up a stressed out martyr is not good parenting.