19 yr old asking my 14 yr old daughter for sex

[kerrymc09]

I've recently discovered that my 14 yr old has been receiving (&replying) to messages on FB from a 19yr old man. She doesn't know him but has some mutual friends on FB. He initiated the friendship & the sexual chat but she has reciprecated. He knows she is 14. The contact has only been for a short time (less than a week) but he is now trying to arrange to meet her after school & find which route she takes. I'm unsure which action to take. Either confront him at his workplace which he's talked about on FB & speak to my daughter too since her behaviour is unacceptable or just delete him from her FB or report him to the police. I want to avoid her being embarrassed but I'm naturally more concerned for her safety. I've copied all of the messages & my instinct is to refer the matter to the police incase this isn't an isolated incident. How have other parents dealt with this kind of situation?

Certainly talk to your daughter about acceptable boundaries and how to say no to someone.
But yes, contact the police, her embarrassment is the least of your worries here.

How did you find out? Did your DD tell you?

Yes, I thought I would check out the website for my local police force and it says contact the police immediately if an adult (or a person you suspect to be posing as an adult) tries to set up a meeting with your child. This could be a very dangerous situation.

She may find this embarrassing but he needs to be given a short, sharp shock if he isn't an established predator and she needs to think more carefully about who she engages with. Has her school not covered internet safety with you/her? If not, perhaps they should be encouraged to at the start of next year?

contact the police

If it was me I'd be far too tempted to go confront him at his work, but i think youre best to contact the police.

What are waiting for, permission from your DD. police now.

I would sit my daughter down and talk to her explain what I was going to do and why.

They get taught about safety on the internet from age 10 onwards in school and I am sure you have talked about the risks, so until she is mature enough to not make herself a target I would remove access to FB.

She would also have strict instructions about coming home from school straight away and restrictions on going out until I could trust her again.

I would contact FB and get them to delete DD's profile and let them know that this man is grooming underage girls.

I would also contact Police with evidence and details.

I might even get them to speak to my daughter about the dangers too.

My DD's are not teens, but this is how I would deal with it if this did happen.

This brought back memories for me. I was this age when a friend's 19 yr old male friend pursued me. I was obviously flattered & didn't see that it was dubious. My mum begged me not to sleep with him, which rather shocked me as I wasn't thinking of that, at least not in a real life way. When he tried to push me into having sex in the back of his car, I totally freaked. He wasn't successful, but he tried.

Ring the police. A man like this will rape eventually.

Yes, police.

Make sure you have screengrabs saved - if your dd suddenly stops chatting to him he may well realise he's been rumbled & delete his messages.

Pass all the details on to the police, then talk to your dd about why she shouldn't chat to people a lot older than herself, and say you have done it to protect her.
I would then get rid of the internet as it is the root of all evils in young girls, i know from experience with a family member what sort of discusting creatures lurk on these sites to groom young girls.
Her tantrum over it would be the least of my worries, keep her safe

many thanks for the replies so far. It's the push I needed & probably the advice I'd give to anyone else in same situation. She knows I check her FB so it probably won't come as a massive shock ( even though she won't like it!) but that's the least of my worries, frankly! Thanks again.

Find out his address, then tell the police, but make sure to add that he will most likely be armed, possibly with a gun. This will result in the feds smashing in with guns and you never know, he might even get shot.