'SAHMS' that have full time childcare or help - a fantastic liberation or downright lazy?

[Enid]

There are lots of mothers down here in Dorset who are (or whose husbands are) well off enough to afford NOT to work. I know a few and they all have full time aupairs or nannies. One of them has TWO nannies - one for each of her children.

It seems to be a matter of pride that you always take the nanny/au pair on holiday to help with your children. Also that the nanny/au pair takes the children to clubs and activities.

OK - I think it is outrageously lazy (and so does dh). What do you think?

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Oh, no, you don't want to be high-maintenance, really really. The one I know, who had a male nanny, really finds managing with her three, on her own (for an afternoon or whatever) quite hard. And her kids are something like 11, 8 and 3, so not nightmare ages really.

Only had time to post quickly before but i;ve put the screaming sprogg in they yard so i can reply properly! (JOKE!)

I am so boring but i do really think each to their own. I am with Nailpolish in that i adore these early years and am so happy doing things withh dd's. However, if it really bores you silly then it must be a pain to stay in, there's no way my sister could do it and i think her and her boys are alot happier because she works.
Someone mentioned earlier about lifestyle before kids. I always worked full time so it would actually seem really wired to have someone look after my kids and me to have so much time to myself. To those that do, namely PPH, i too admire your self confidence in not giving a toss what others think. So i think what i'm trying to say is, if you feel happy you're making the right choice then surely that's right for you.

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I do actually think each to theri won, but the woman I worked for was a lazy cow. She even used to take me shopping to the local market as she couldn't handle the kids!!

No, I really, really do NQC. I want to be able to throw my hands helplessly in the air and say "oh, I can't manage, I need help". I don't want to be a single, working mummy!!!!! I'm sure if I was more helpless, then I wouldn't be a coping single mummy with high maintenance children who force me to play with them whenever I'm not working or wrestling with the bloody washing machine, leaky taps, dodgy light fittings and all the rest of it!!!!

I wouldn't like to be a SAHM woth childcare but would love to be as I am now (part-time work) with an extra pair of hands. I have 3 children (6,41/2 and 18 months), no family help and a dh who works 12-13 hours a day. I would love to have someone to play with 2 children while I spend time with the other, or to have a bath by myself or to read a book or newspaper. I thought I would love to be a full-time SAHM but I find it incredibly hard work and i would be a happier and therefore better mum if I had a break regularly.
So, it depends what those women are doing with their time as to whether they are lazy or not!

all the working mums who say they love their jobs - if you won the lottery would you not stay at home wiht the children?

No, I'd stay home and not do very much; I certainly would not swap my current job for full-time childcare.

No, if I won the lottery I would get some help with the children but not go back to being at home all day.

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There's at least 2 SAHM with full-time live-in help in our street - but I don't know them well enough to understand why. They have two kids each.
Now dd is 2, I have p/t help 2 short days per week: feel lucky to have the choice, use the time for things I can't/don't want to do with dd, including getting skills re-honed for future p/t work.
Agree each to their own: me personally, would hate full time help or help on holidays..and am with cod on the swimming topic...

"all the working mums who say they love their jobs - if you won the lottery would you not stay at home wiht the children?"

No. I would probably change my job for one which was part-time and which allowed me to be at home during a good chunk of the school holidays. But I wouldn't opt to be a full-time SAHM.

No, NP I'd have a ball. I'd be around and I'd sit and watch Shrek with them, but I'd get someone else in for the playdoh and interminable hours at the park! I'd be off galivanting, secure in the knowledge that they were having fun doing all the bizarre stuff they like doing while I was out being high maintenance.
Oh yes, must buy a lottery ticket!

It would be nice to have an au pair / nany on call for when I just want a time out .. I fink

twig - like that woman on the advert who has a babysitter so she can sit on her own and drink coffee

It's appealing to imagine hiring someone for the cleaning and chores to give 'Quality time' with Dd.

However, I honestly think I'm setting a better example to her - and giving her more 'life skills' by letting her tag along with me spinning around rushing to get everything done - four things on the go at once.

The little dear (23 months) loads and unloads the washing machine for me, wipes up when she spills her juice - and is very good at putting her toys away when she is finished.

We might have more time for drawing together if we had a cleaner, but I suspect I'm raising someone who won't be shocked by life when they grow up.

depends what they do with all their time, doesn't it?

If it's just spent on indulging themselves all day then that's quite nauseating and not much of a contribution to society.

I think everyone should make a personal contribution to society. It's not enough that your dh might or that your parents did.

Some might say that bringing up your children in the best way you know how, giving them all the benefit of your education and experience, is a personal contribution to society. I think the whole crux of the problem is the lack of recognition of that fact in our current culture.

GS, I think the whole point is that many of us do recognise what a valuable, and also what a demanding job it is.

And frankly I loathe having to do four things at once; don't see it as a badge of virtue at all.

Hmm... there definitely is a tendency among WOHMs to reagrd SAHMs as lazy, poorly motivated con merchants who sit on their arses drinking coffee and gossipping, while pretending to the outside world that they are doing a difficult and demanding job. Or alternatively, that they are a wet, bovine sub-species fit only for mopping up bodily fluids and rolling playdoh, who couldn't have had careers anyway and are filling the time with children to avoid the stigma of unemployment. Since staying at home with my children I have encountered some really appalling attitudes, mostly from other women.

Similarly, there is a tendency among SAHMs to assume that WOHMs have reduced maternal instincts, do nothing with their children and place their careers above their families.

It's sad really.

we are so judgemental. I'm trying not to be lately and keep saying "each to their own" whilst secretly judging them in my head.

I am too busy trying to make my personal contribution to society to judge.