'SAHMS' that have full time childcare or help - a fantastic liberation or downright lazy?

[Enid]

There are lots of mothers down here in Dorset who are (or whose husbands are) well off enough to afford NOT to work. I know a few and they all have full time aupairs or nannies. One of them has TWO nannies - one for each of her children.

It seems to be a matter of pride that you always take the nanny/au pair on holiday to help with your children. Also that the nanny/au pair takes the children to clubs and activities.

OK - I think it is outrageously lazy (and so does dh). What do you think?

NP: It was indeed tongue in cheek!

Message withdrawn

bugsy, that's why they invented pre-school and school so they could do all those things

no point exhausting play-doh, painting etc. before they get there

oh ok issymum

Exactly bugsy. I bloody hate playdo and all that crap, and my efforts at artwork are not actually much better than the children's.

Whereas my friend round the corner was born to do arty crafty stuff with kids

Oooh yes - and we could go to see the personal shopper at Harvey Nicks afterwards!

I still hark back to my earlier point: do people who denounce the idea of any type of childcare when not working have parents or family who can help out? I don't and even if I didn't work, still wouldn't (unless I moved 70 miles and my mother found her grandchildren more interesting than the Catholic church). So in those circumstances, paying for some sort of help would be my only choice if I wanted to do anything at any time without DS and DD around.

Oh, I know a SAHM with a nanny. Well, now all her kids are at school, she doesn't have one any more, but she had two boys FT at school, and one baby at home, and a nanny. A male nanny, actually.

I think she's high-maintenance, though. Very pretty and fit and all that, and I'm sure she gets her nails done etc regularly.

foxinsocks, mine are 6 & nearly 4, so been or going through pre-school! Tragically still want to do it at home and with me though!

I've just employed someone to help in holidays and weekends. With their help we can spend time with ds2 and ds3, give ds1 1:1 (either from them or one of us), and in the holidays I can buy a pint of milk and loaf of bread if we run out (have run out today, it's half term and am waiting for my mum to bring me in some this evening). Social services pay for it (hoorah). Does that still make it a status symbol?

We had help for 4 weeks last summer, I even went out and had a coffee in a coffee shop one afternoon because my mum took ds1 off (so our "nanny" had ds2 and ds3). So shoot me.

bugsy, you obviously set your standards too high to start with!

I'd love to be a SAHM with some - not fulltime - paid-for childcare. What's not to like, as they say?

Blu - "inner millionaire" - fantastic! Mine's been whispering in my ear all day...

Oh God, am almost salivating with envy. I so want to be high maintenance with a male nanny. Sob!

Message withdrawn

anchovy, i live round the corner from my mum, but she works ft, i have lots of friends nearby, but they all work ft, so i consider myself on my own all day with a 3yr old and a 1yr old.

i see all my friends children along the street with their cm's - if only my friends worked pt we could meet up during the day and they could play together, but thats restricted to weekends.

Message withdrawn

lockets - PMSL at your comment about children playing on their own!
Mine must have a needy, high maintenance gene!!!! They want me, down on the floor, doing it with them - long distance encouragement is seen as a cop out as far as they are concerned!!!!

I think there is a big difference between having someone/people to help out when needed (trip to doctors, haircut etc) and having full time childcare as a sahm. If I had to everything with my kids, it would be a nightmare and so I sometimes ask friends or family to look after my kids for a couple of hours, or I pay a babysitter. Or if I can I wait until the evenings or the weekend when my dh can do it. But I can't imagine having full time nannies if you don't work. I'm def with muma3 here.

Does that mean I shouldn't have got offended and huffy cod? Status symbol, pah, nothing I'd like more.

TBH even if I had 3 NT kids and so no SS help, I'd pay for a mother's help with pre-schoolers if I could afford it, not so I could spend every day shopping, but just because it adds flexibility. In our case having someone help is a lifesaver, and without it we're all housebound, but even a normal situation with 3 young kids is easier with another pair of hands. It wouldn't be a priority, but if I had the cash I'd pay for it.

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn