I know the rules, I've read the books (How To Talk etc.), I've got a couple of psychology degrees. I know what I should say and how I should behave. But when it comes down to it my immediate reaction (mainly to 4.5 yo DD1) is to shout, or not always shout - hiss angrily is more like it, or just nag.
I've got to give the poor kid a break, she is so young still and I expect such a lot. But my patience is on a long term thin patch, and, well, she's four, she behaves like a four year old. She has regular wee accidents which she doesn't tell me about (seen dr, referral refused due to her age). Whenever I cook she has a constant complaint about what knife/fork/plate/amount she has. You have to tell her a million times to get her to do anything. When we do something nice she cries when we have to go/has to stop. All usual 4yo stuff, but it drains me. I have a nearly two year old too, and I can manage to be more patient with her, which makes my attitude to her older sister all the more marked.
God, I sound horrible don't I? I need strategies that I can use, something simple that I can remind myself in the heat of the moment. Any advice or tips?