Am I the only parent who won't allow an xbox, DS or playstation in the house?

[MINIBondGirl]

Am I being unrealistic in this issue as I only know a very few parents who feel the same? Having seen other children playing on them (sometimes looking like zombies and getting headaches) I am really put off. I know some parents restrict usage and don't allow unsuitable games but a lot don't.

As my boys are 4 & 7 I would rather they played outside, used their imaginations and concentrated on school for now.

Realistic or not?

ICT I meant.

Oh that'll be telling me then nanny

Exoticfruits they can use it perfectly well, at school.

Well I've never had consoles and games when I was young (and I am in my 40's too) and I am struggling to see the point of them tbh.

I have seen research though showing the effect of games on adults behaviour (eg people playing games racing cars are more dangerous when they driving just after compare to their normal driving). So if they can have an effect on adults, I am sure they have some major effect on children too.

However, it is clear that once they reach teenage hood, the consoles such as XBox etc... aren't just a game, they are also a way to communicate with friends outside of school (on the top of texting of course). So not allowing an XBox or other is actually keeping a teenager isolated from his peer group.

The issue with Internet and that sort of communication are obvious. Not just the amount of time but all the risk associated with internet (contact with people you don't now etc..). Even on forum like MN, you have gron up adults who burn their wings because they have been outed and it caused lots of problem. The issue with teenagers that won't have a clear realistic view of the issues is obvious.

So in answer to the OP, no not now. You can wait. Probably until they are 8~10yo. Then you have peer pressure (Evryone has one). And by the time you are teenagers, you won't be able to escape it.

Oh and Nanny I would say despite your wonderful qualifications and lack of gaming experience you are very rude.

I was just wondering where you drew the line, that's all. I've taught children that were banned from using computers or any form of ICT technology because of their parents religious beliefs. Likewise children whose parents didn't own a TV, or let them see films or DVDs of any sort.

We got ds when the youngst was 7 or so. Wasn't keen on thrm till then and I still retained control.

A console free house I'd very possible of course as a tv free house is. By they will play video games I'm sure - on line/ pc/ phone or evn on school pcs at lunch time or round a mates house- so yup balance as ever!

Yes southeast everything has to be backed by clinical research these days.
And yes ITC is completely different from gaming - my DD benefits hugely from accessing the school intranet at home.
But gaming , no , unless it's played as a family .

I'm in bed now but am quite happy to dig out some research tomorrow .

For my son, gaming and using linked technology such as a wii or DS has enabled him to initiate relationships and develop an understanding of social relationships and discourse in a less threatening medium than face to face.

poppyboo Sun 06-May-12 22:04:43
"cory is it that unusual to look information up in books these days?"

No, but I found even with a well stocked home library and a reasonable public library, there were plenty of questions that could not be answered without rushing off to the university library, but were easily accessible online. Most people don't tend to have books that cover every area equally; we are strong on the humanities but less so on science and geography.

Nanny, imo social skills are about all sorts of things: maturity, modelling by parents and older siblings, training. Of course you can damage social skills by constantly focusing on one activity- whether x-boxing or reading, but this doesn't mean that every moderate user will also have a lack of social skills.

I had appalling social skills when I was ds' age- probably because I spent all my time with my nose in the book, whereas he spends it interacting with people. Reading is far more of a lone activity than xbox games or DS games.

They must find it isolating, FC. In my opinion the line needs to be drawn so that they have plenty of other interests and social activities but they are able to communicate with their peers and are not isolated as ' an oddity'. Moderation is the answer, and they need to be able to impose it on themselves.

well pretty soon they will need to to do homework, my eldest is at high school and most of his homework is set and done via the pc, ds2 is in yr5 and again tho they are given worksheets, there is homework to do via the pc, ds3 is in yr 2 and he also has a login for a specific page where he can do some extra stuff, mainly he still just gets sheets, spellings, reading but he has access to work from school via the pc.

its only in the last few years that we have got games consoles etc, when my kids were little we actually had 2 yrs without even a tv, but then i wanted to watch ER again and greys anatomy, desperate housewives etc etc

we have a ds (one that is shared between the 3 older children) an xbox, a wii and a ps2, the ps2 was dps and the wii and the xbox were bought as family presents adn the older 3 children play on them together a lot of the time, plus the wii and the xbox with kinnect can actually be quite physical, today ds3 was doing a toy story game and was jumping up and down running on the spotm, flapping his arms like a bird, it was hilarious to watch and he was having a great time :)

but my boys also do sports, we have a climbing frame, a trampoline, bike to school everyday etc. its all about balance and everything in moderation.

we set limits for ds2 and ds3 as at 7 and 9yrs they easily lose track of the time and dont realise how long htey have been on a game. ds1 is 12 and pretty much self regulates, infact he rarely plays on the consoles at the moment, is more interested in his kindle and revising gcse bite size on the pc!

and even if your children dont SEE you using these devices, unless you hide them away i am pretty sure they will know of their existence and its pretty hypocritical to sit on the internet and not let your children on it at all!

the best option i have found with mine is to teach them to use it responsibly, if you never give them the chance to learn to do that then you are doing them a huge disservice ime.

Fallen I've taught children too who can't use technology/ see DVDs because of religion. My DH has seen effects of too much gaming in the teenage kids he teaches on a daily basis.

But the fact that too much gaming has adverse effects does not really prove that some gaming has any effect, does it? Most things are bad for you in excess, even if they may be perfectly healthy in moderation.

As a teenager who always had my nose in a book I would agree with that, Cory.
It also depends on the age of your DC , if your 7 yr old is the eldest it is fairly simple, not so easy if he has 13 and 16yr old siblings.

I agree, exoticfruits.
One of the general points I consider when writing Y6 reports is
'Can this child make the right choices, keep the rules and behave like a decent human being when there isn't an adult breathing down their neck?'

Sadly the answer is often no, they have no self-discipline or self-moderation. They have always had that choice made for them and monitored. So given the freedom to act, they are as egocentric as a much younger child because they have never developed a measure of independent maturity.

There's lots of social interaction with an Xbox.

My son has one (as do I) and him and friends chat to each other and play games, discuss tactics, together on Xbox live.

They don't seem to play on their own it's all about playing together.

I agree, notsureicancarryon

I am off to bed- just 3 words- moderation, moderation, moderation.
And one last sentence -if you have moderation in all things your DCs are more likely to do it for themselves and not go mad when let off the leash.

Surely your DH isn't basing his judgement entirely on gaming? How can that be separated from other aspects of the home that may be less than satisfactory?

My very last words-very true Fallencaryatid.

Fallen obviously don't want to discuss individual cases on mumsnet

Strange that poppy

Strange and convenient