anyone else HATE the baby bit or is it just me who's crap?

[rowanrowow]

Hi, DS2 is 15 weeks old and probably because he is such hard work I am finding myself just wishing time away. DS1 was a very grumpy baby and needed constant movement and stimulation, hated the car seat, pram etc, basically I just carried him around til he could walk and he was very intense. I wished that first year away and to be honest didn't really enjoy him til he could talk at 16 months. DS2 is similar, doesn't want to just be cuddled or held but won't sit in car seat, pushchair etc. I hate this bit. I feel like a totally crap mum that twice I have had this experience. What is wrong with me? All my friends go cooing over babies and tell me how wonderful it is and I am just stood there thinking 'wtf??'.

We've had him on ranitidine incase he had reflux, he's dairy free incase he is intolerant, nothing seems to help. He is just miserable being a baby the same as DS1 was.

It feels like I am on edge all the time waiting for the next meldown to occur. The only thing that is remotely getting me through the days is that DS1 is now a lovely happy funny 4 year old so I know I can survive but I feel so guilty for not enjoying this. I so wanted it to be the happy experience everyone bangs on about but it's not. It's just endless soothing, feeding, crying, struggling to get him to nap. Where is the joy in that? I know I am rambling, probably just wanting a rant but I just do not see what is so great about the baby bit! Please offer any tips for me to at least get some enjoyment from this stage!

No tips but just wanted you to know you're not alone. Both my ds were/are quite easy though (ds2 is only 9wks though) so I don't even have that excuse!

God babies are dull. Even when they are good tempered, they don't do anything!

To me, the baby stage was like digging the garden reafdy for seeds - boring, grueling, but ultimately rewarding.(when they aren't babies any more)

Mine are 6 and 9 and awesome.

I took them to birmingham overnight - I packed pyjamas. That was it. They wore the same clothes for two days on the trot because they hadn't messed them up, I didn't even have to look at anyone's bottom, and was able to say, at 5am, "It's too early, put the tv on and be quiet, pleASE" AND THEY did.

I sound gloaty, but I'm just trying to help you see the light at th4e end of the tunnel.

I HATED the baby bit with my first son. I was 19 and felt like my life was over. He screamed all day and all night, never smiled at me, never showed in interest in anything- I was miserable. Once he got to about 2 it was wonderful but I really do understand how you feel. I used to feel sorry for friends when they found out they were pregnant because they had no idea how 'awful' it was. Having said that, I haven't felt that way about my twins but as they were so poorly when they were born I guess I'm just so thankful to have healthy, happy babies.

I reckon loads of people secretly feel the same but they are too busy trying to look like super mum to admit to it

Ahh thank you! Colditz I like that about the garden! Yes that's exactly how it feels, just something I have to endure in order to get to the toddler and child bit which I LOVE! I love being DS1's mummy but I didn't actually like him til he wasn't a baby and I feel guilty about that but I feel the same about DS2 and I just feel like I have been robbed of this happy beautiful experience everyone discribes. Even when DS2 is reasonably settled and not screaming I would much rather talk or read and play with DS1. It's not that I don't love DS2, I do but I think only because I can see the potential of the child he could become. Thank you for not all judging me and making me feel even more guilty about this! I just feel like it is soooo dull and I miss the going out with DS1 wherever we wanted without constantly waiting for DS2 to cry and grizzle :-(

Babies are very very dull, at best. I like children when they get to 3+ and you can actually have a conversation with them.

not sure if I'd go as far as saying that I hate it but I certainly couldn't claim to like it.

I do wonder when I see others cooing over their babies how come I didn't/couldn't enjoy mine as they seem to theirs. I felt so unhappy about everything and I do wish I hadn't.

My first had colic and didn't sleep the night for 2 years and my second arrive via a difficult delivery and we both weren't well for a while due to it.

Bring sunshine to me now though

as I read in my favourite book about babies, Operating Instructions by Anne Lemott

It's the age gap!

I feel like I just want to sleep through this next year and wake up when DS2 isn't crying and when he can walk and I actually know how to entertain him . I think I just have no idea what to do with babies. I feed him, cuddle him (when he'll let me ) Sing to him etc but what then hell are you actually meant to do with them??! I hoped I just felt like that with DS1 because I'd never had a baby before but I feel just as clueless this time round. DS2 is just as grumpy and I just find myself wondering how on earth anyone gets anything done or manages a successful day out with an older child when they have a baby?! Think it's worse this week because DS1 is off school and I wanted to have some days out as a family but how on earth do I do that with a grumpy baby?!!

Lamott.

I would really recommend this book- it is full of black humour about the first year ( and a lot of feeling too).

Ahh yes Moin that's how I feel about DS1, he brings so much sunshine and love and happiness into our lives that I just could never ever imagine being without him. I miss him even when he's at school! It just makes me feel sad that I don't feel that about DS2 yet but I am filled with hope that in a year or 2 I will!

Thank you saffron I will see if I can get a copy! I need something to rmind me that I can survive and I'm not the only one who doesn't like this bit!

You are not alone, I also hated the baby stage. I especially find tiny babies a bit weird and not quite human or something. So, I sympathise, it is really realy tough, but thank god they grow up!

That book is fab. Def the best of all the baby manuals. Kept me sane when mine were tiny babies.

i am sooooo not a small baby person. they are dull, demanding, and quite frankly unreasonable. that's the reason they're cute - if they weren't you'd end up chucking them out of the nearest window.

i think children become much more pleasant at about 18mo - 17mo dd2 is on the cusp of becoming decent company.

everyone has bits they enjoy more than others. lots of my friends really struggle with toddlers, but i quite enjoy them, even the crazy tantrums.

I think most people feel like that. Dd was an easy baby but I still found it hard, harder maybe even that with ds who was impossible, I think its because she was dc2 and I felt scared it was all never going to end.

Things have been much easier for a while now - ds is just 5 and dd is 18 months. dd is a nightmare though and into everything and sometimes I wish shed go back in time to just sitting and behaving herself

Newborn bit difficult, older babies brilliant. Based on dd1 so far toddlers more difficult than quantum physics. Messy, annoying, loud, defiant to the extreme and overly energetic. Roll on the 'child' bit.

Nah, it's just you.

KIDDING!!

I don't understand the people who just love the ickle lickle babies, and keep wanting to have more because that's their favourite bit. I'll probably offend a few people, but when faced with those people I think - 'Don't you want them to grow up a bit so you can find out what their personalities are like? Have conversations with them? Relate to them as actual fellow humans? Or do you only like them when they can't talk back?'

Mine are now toddler / pre-schooler and are loads of fun, but I still can't wait until the stage where we can debate together about important things, go to the theatre, argue about Masterchef, etc.

The toddler eating thing better be the worst thing about parenting too or I'm giving up now.

I'm with FannyPriceless.

Oh I have a good book - 3 socks, one hairbrush or something about having your second kid. If I can find it I can send it to you?

I hate the baby phase. There, I've said it!

I have 2 girls, and both times I only started enjoying them when they were at the 16-18 month mark. The best age imo is 4-6 years. They are so very interesting then, but are not yet embarrassed to be seen in your company

I hate the baby bit too! dd cried constantly for the first few months, going out was a nightmare, and they don't do anything. Older babies/toddlers are tiring but at least fun.

Colditz! I heart you. I ABSOLUTELY want to go to Birmingham with a pair of pyjamas.

That is the life I want.

Right now, DS needs more gear than Prince Harry off to Helmand Province, and shits himself when he gets there. Why bother? Staying home is easier.

Babies - dull and scary (I'm still on the AD's, might be for a long time)

Toddlers - adorable, hilarious but harder physical graft than I've ever done in my life. I am lazy by nature. Can my son see that, and make allowances? Can he heck.

Children. Aaah, children. People who can walk to the toilet, use it, wash their hands and walk back.

People who can say 'No, I'm not thirsty thanks but I'd love a banana'.

I can't wait.

They also say things like "Mum, you look so old and weatherbeaten".
A little gem from DS , 13, last night.