anyone else HATE the baby bit or is it just me who's crap?

[rowanrowow]

Hi, DS2 is 15 weeks old and probably because he is such hard work I am finding myself just wishing time away. DS1 was a very grumpy baby and needed constant movement and stimulation, hated the car seat, pram etc, basically I just carried him around til he could walk and he was very intense. I wished that first year away and to be honest didn't really enjoy him til he could talk at 16 months. DS2 is similar, doesn't want to just be cuddled or held but won't sit in car seat, pushchair etc. I hate this bit. I feel like a totally crap mum that twice I have had this experience. What is wrong with me? All my friends go cooing over babies and tell me how wonderful it is and I am just stood there thinking 'wtf??'.

We've had him on ranitidine incase he had reflux, he's dairy free incase he is intolerant, nothing seems to help. He is just miserable being a baby the same as DS1 was.

It feels like I am on edge all the time waiting for the next meldown to occur. The only thing that is remotely getting me through the days is that DS1 is now a lovely happy funny 4 year old so I know I can survive but I feel so guilty for not enjoying this. I so wanted it to be the happy experience everyone bangs on about but it's not. It's just endless soothing, feeding, crying, struggling to get him to nap. Where is the joy in that? I know I am rambling, probably just wanting a rant but I just do not see what is so great about the baby bit! Please offer any tips for me to at least get some enjoyment from this stage!

at weatherbeaten

Apparently I once told my dad he had a craggy face. I was 12 at the time. I wonder if I even knew what craggy meant? Luckily dad found it tres funny. He couldn't resist using the phrase "craggy face" in any conversation, whether it merited it or not

Well thank you all massively for not telling me I'm a heartless bitch!

at weathered and craggy faces!

My DS1 comes out with hilarious insults that are just so innocent that I find it too cute to be offended! He once told me that I looked like a man and he was only 2 so honestly just must have thought that! Last week he told daddy that mummy was sort of pretty when she has a lot of make up on... errrm thanks!

Ahhh feel better just thinking that in a year this awful baby bit will be over and a whole new load of toddler issues will be bugging me. I do just deal better with the toddler stage though. Even the tantrums don't phase me in the way that babies crying does. I think I just don't deal well with babies at all. I look at DS2 and I know he is absolutely gorgeous (biased mummy) but I don't enjoy him at all. I don't feel like I know him because there's not much to know if that makes sense? I try to make an effort to find out what he likes and what makes him smile but being a baby and a grumpy one at that means that what works one minute will make him cry the next .

I do feel unbelievably ungrateful saying this though and should stree that I do feel utterly blessed to have 2 beautiful and healthy boys. I wouldn't be without them for the world but this last four months have been very very difficult. Perhaps even more so than first time round as this time I have a 4 yr old to entertain and make sure he doesn't fee like his life is adversely affected by his brother. Thankfully so far he adores the baby and has coped brilliantly.

I can't wait for both of mine to be over the baby and toddler phase. Another 1.4yrs to go before DD is 3...!

My 3.5yr old is so easy to look after on his own. We can have funny conversations, read books, walk down the street without a buggy, etc etc etc but DD who is nearly 20 months, is such an inquisitive toddler and DS is constantly trying to haress her, so life is pretty hellish with both of them together.

Don't come and get me but i love the baby bit. They don't run away and don't answer back lol

Can't stand babies, whining irritable, dribbling pooping things - give me the independent terrible two's any day!

I often watch mum's gazing at their babies and think - did you brain switch off? Are you really enjoying that as much as you look like you are?

The more independent they become the more interesting they get. Babies, while cute, are dull, dull, dull.

I'm so glad I've come across this thread, I hate the baby bit, I work 4/5 days a week which keeps me sane.

I feel terrible today as I just left dd with my brother and ran out the house, she keeps screaming due to teething 6mo I feel so

& I also told my friends the baby part is a bit boring and now the take the piss religiously.

I can't wait till they have children and are saying, how did you cope!

Agree agree agree! DH is mooting the idea of having dc3 just as i have a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel but I can't get over the fact that I would have to go back to doing the baby stage all over again. This thread has put me off even more. Am I selfish? Also can't wait until friends and siblings have babies. I wanted to be smug with older dcs when they were wading through the nappies but my plan will be thwarted if we have another dc

I agree but I do love dd to bits although feel guilty (she's 4 months).

Ds is 2.6 and I reckon I was borderline pnd until I went back to work. It was hard really hard.

Can I suggest you stop trying to entertain your baby - stick him in a chair and let him watch his older brother. Dd loves watching DS - easy for me too! I get bored when it's just me and DD

Can I also suggest you get a sling? Stick baby in that and get out as much as you can. Baby can look around and once the eyes glaze over, slide a hood/hat over the eyes and off they doze usually. I've not bothered with our double buggy! Dd fights my cuddles when she's overtired and can only manage 60-90 mins awake time before getting grumpy.

Ahhh fantastic that most of you agree! Iggly, don't get me wrong, if DS2 was the sort of baby that would just sit and look at DS1 then that would be heaven and I would take full advantage but the truth is he is just like DS1 and really is only semi happy when I stand up holding him. He hates the car seat, bouncer chair, even cuddles, anything that restricts him (it sounds weird I know but DS1 was exactly the same and has turned out fine so I am assuming DS2 will be OK eventually!) Basically it took talking to really make DS1 happy and cheerful. Before that he was so very frustrated and angry with himself and the world. DS2 seems to be OK kicking around on his changing mat or under the baby gym for 15 minutes or so but other than that it's all out whining or crying. Bloody hard work. He will only go in the pushchair if he is due a nap and a I wedge a dummy in his mouth with his teddy so it doesn't fall out and he will go to sleep, if he's not tired he just cries and cries. He hates the sling too though.

I'm the same.

For me it's the combination of high-maintenance/boringness (theirs) with sleep deprivation (mine).

I like them when they become a bit more interactive. And sleep through.

No you're not alone. I too wished away those early years. My two DS are now 6 and 9 and they are fabuous. Little consolation at the minute maybe. Stick with it and don't feel guilty, in my experience when your youngest is 3 you're home and dry!

With DS1 I found every minute difficult until 9 months - when I went back to work part time, so I felt that I had some interactivity in my life. It coincided nicely with him becoming more of "a person" too.

With DS2, I am almost frightened by how much I am enjoying it. I am, however, more prepared for the mundanity this time, and enjoying the endless feeds and cuddles and night wakenings to read, catch up on some films and read some more. Note: there is nothing in there about liking the baby stage itself!

Nope. I always feel inadequate when people with babies of a similar age coo and fuss over mine - especially when they've already got one.

I tend to smile a lot in dd's direction and ask if she's ok, but having been theough that stage once, I'm not really sure what to do with her.

Ahh Astr0 that's all I do! Either I'm feeding him or he's crying and fighting sleep but on the rare occassions when he is settled and happy I kinda just smile at him and talk almost to myself as I have no idea what to say or 'do' with him! I am a crappy mum to babies. I just find myself rolling my eyes when he does cry as it takes my time and attention from DS1. I feel like I am kind of short changing DS2 but I remember being and feeling exactly the same with DS1 at this age and he developed OK!

Ohh and when people coo over him at the school gates etc I am just looking at their babies thinking 'yeah ummmm so what?!' but I knda have to make an effort to say how cute they are and smile etc but I can't do the whole cooing, going gooey over them. They just aren't appealing to me at all. Though of course both mine have been stunningly beautiful but I don't ever feel broody or remotely moved by looking at other people's babies. They are just dull and sort of all look the same. Mine just seem to cry more than others!

I hate the toddler bit, but I know it gets better (have DD 5 and DS is just 2).

Ohh I LOVED the toddler bit with DS1!! But I have to say he was the worst most unsettled baby and the world's EASIEST toddler ever. He's had about 3 tantrums since he turned 18 months old and each one lasted maybe 10 minutes, he sleeps well, eats well, talks well etc etc, he's just been an adorable child but GOD knows he was a horrendous baby!

... that sounded a bit smug! Wasn't bragging, was just saying after the hideous first year I imagined he would become some kind of problem child needing anger management but he's just the most reasonable little boy who is just sunny and wonderful. OK maybe I am bragging after all!

They poo a lot and cry (and I never did get the earth mother bit about which cry was which - it was just crying).

You can't reason with them and they puke all down the back of your dining chairs.

Its just the bit you have to do to get children.Never did get all the fuss over newborns.

Me either with the crying SkinnyVanilla everyone says after a few weeks or a couple of months then you just 'know' what the cries mean... ummmm really?? I NEVER figured it out with DS1 til he could talk and tell me what the bloody problem was! So glad it's not just me! DS2's cries all sound the same too! Kinda angry and wailing most of the time so could be hunger, tiredness, boredom so I kinda go through everything til he shuts up!

They're still more reasonable than toddlers...

You are not alone rowan.Like you it was the same with both of mine.

A friend said the other day- "wouldn't it be great to take your maternity leave when the baby is 6 months old"- good point I thought!