do fathers have rights?

[jamesp4542]

Just a question but why do women believe they have automatic rights to decide a father cannot see his children. You seem to believe women are automatically good parents. And that it's right to deprive the father of equal access, and in my experience, not because youre worried about the welfare if the child or what's best for the child but more for a childish vendetta, and control. To me that's far from a good parent. I was deprived of access for one reason and one reason only control. Not because Im a danger to them or couldn't look after them.

Neither parent has any rights, only the child has rights.
If a mother is preventing access for that child for reasons that are not for protection of the child then she is behaving in a way that is abusive.

I do wish that the family court was stricter on enforcing access on both sides, because it's only the child that gets stuck in the middle and loses out.

I personally don't believe that being with mum is always best, my sister's boy always lived with his father from age 3 because he was the better parent,in my case i am the safest carer for my children cos of father's drinking.In your situation i suggest you go through the court system to gain access,as it's important for a child to feel wanted and cared about and your child will appreciate the effort you put in to remain in their life

"Neither parent has any rights, only the child has rights."

Absolutely. So many people - mums and dads - forget this!

Exactly my opinion, and you say only the child had rights but really that would only happen in a ideal world, some women believe they are allowed to stop you seeing children because you've done something not too nice to them. And that's majorly wrIngo didn't see my kids for 'only' 2 weeks and it killed me I literally broke down in tears more than once

why do women believe they have automatic rights to decide a father cannot see his children. You seem to believe women are automatically good parents.

Your OP is full of sweeping generalisations about women. Frankly that makes you look rather prejudiced. FWIW I think the rights of the children are paramount and that provided it's in their (the childrens') best interests both parents should have equal access if that is what they want.

Unfortunately, OP, your prejudice makes you sound a little irrational. Could I suggest that you might help your cause a little more if you stopped the anti-women generalisations and focussed on the needs of your children?

some women believe they are allowed to stop you seeing children because you've done something not too nice to them
And this doesn't show you in a particularly good light, either.

Not all women are good parents. Not all men are good parents.

Children have the right to be kept away from anyone who might endanger them, whether that be their mother OR their father.

If someone has done something 'not too nice' to someone else, then that would make me question if they were safe to be around children - their own or not, depending on what the 'something not too nice' was.

If it was that you ate the last slice of pizza, then it would be ridiculous to stop you seeing your children. If it involved threatening, violent or abusive behaviour then actually, it would seem like a very sensible thing to do.

Some people aren't very nice people. Some people are selfish and petty. Some people put their own needs ahead of those they love. A lot of these people have children. If you have children with someone like this, it shouldn't be a surprise they haven't changed into a generous selfless person overnight once you've left them. If you are a person like this, it shouldn't be a surprise that your ex doesn't feel the need to make life easy for you.

So go on, what did you do? Just so we can all judge you help you understand where you're exP is coming from.

How do you know what we believe? Because F4J told you?

The vast majority of posters here do not believe that a mother should stop access for a father without good reason.

On the very few occasions I have seen anyone post about limiting contact just because maintenence hasn't been paid for example, they have swiftly been told by lots of other posters that they should not do that, and that to do so would be unreasonable.

So your presumption that "women believe" this is incorrect

No parent has more 'rights' than others. Decisions should be made in favour of what is best for the Child involved.

You cannot claim to know the opionion of all mothers. We do not all think we have the right to deny access on a whim.

There are far more Fathers that do not want access and do not take responsibility for their children than there are mother that deny access to willing fathers and yet, in spite of this I dont judge all fathers on this basis

Oh this is just tiring now...

Provide some evidence to back up your claim that 'women' as a collective think that because your statement as it stands is nonsense.

The only generalisation that can be made is that CHILDREN are the ones with the rights in a break. They have a right to security, they have a right to be loved they have a right to a childhood.

I'm quite interested in what you did that was 'not too nice'.

Incidentally, if you have an actual thing you'd like to discuss and maybe get some support for, please carry on and provide details.

I have a lot of sympathy for children who have to be apart from their parents and am happy to share the experience I've gained from over the last few years of my life if it will help you develop a more constructive relationship your ex which can only be to the benefit of your children - and that's who it's all about right?

I think children are the ones with rights with regards to their parents.
They have a right to a loving, safe and healthy relationship with both parents. They also have the right to be kept safe from an unsafe parent if needs be. They have the right to not be involved in grown up problems and disputes. They have the right to expect their parents to put them and their needs first.

Maybe a bit rash jumping to say 'you' are all like thisand I am sorry, just an opinion of 80% of the girls/women I know who ARE like this. When I say not to nice, Im actually not on about my self, im on about cheating, I've never done it and plan to never do it, but a lot of women would stop access because of this, my partner's been violent to me multiple times, the most ive ever do is push her away from me when she's been hittin6g me in front of my boy. Then proceeded to get ME arrested. I would never hit a woman I despise the scumbags that do, I wiukd never cheat on a woman and also despise the scumbags. And my view and absent fathers, I hate them I don't know how they do it! My father is a waste of space and I haven't seen him in about 7 years despite me trying to contact him

Do all women believe this James?
I don't think they do.

Many women believe a child has a right to see both parents, many women here believe this.

where are you getting your ideas about women from? Perhaps it's the women you are mixing with? Maybe you are a bad judge of character and have been unfortunate enough to meet more women who feel like this.

The not to nice thing I bring up because my kids mother has always said if I cheated then she'd move away and I'd never see them again. Not that I'd ever do that, it's just point of how SOME women can and will be. In my opinion if anyone cheats that shouldn't be a reason to deny access that's just ludacris and nothing to do with parenting

Duelingfango I tthink it is the people I've experience, through the experience of my friends and their kids etc

Hi James
For what it?s worth most parents (mothers and fathers) act in the best interests of their child/ren and their wellbeing, both physical and psychological, is of utmost importance and surpasses everything else.

I might have gotten the wrong end of the stick here, and please forgive me if I have, but I get the impression that things are still very raw between you and your ex and that you are maybe lashing out with words, and that is understandable. Whatever has happened between you both, that pales into insignificance when you have children to consider. I?m sensing that you hate your ex and that that feeling is perhaps mutual, for whatever reason.

Neither parent has a usual automatic right of residency for children but, from what you?ve said, if my partner had taken the children to live with him after several instances of lashing out at me I would be in court right now doing everything I possibly could to get those children safe and out of his way. I would be asking the courts to enforce everything they could for their safety ? sod the cost ? and I would be making a statement to the police that he had been violent to me and that I feared for their safety. If you haven?t already done all that, what are you waiting for?

And if 80% of the girls/women you know are like this, then maybe it?s time to widen your circle of friends and/or move. We?re not all like that, honest!

to be fair I don't know a single woman who thinks this, so I hope that'll balance somewhat - and I know people who've had some pretty tough situations to deal with.

Have you done mediation?

It's not great but she isn't even my ex, we got back together. ...
And now im dot sure if we should be, but it's hard to leave because of the kids and I know what she's like when we split. Think that's the reason im bringing it up again because it still gets to me