Things you used to be smug about, then realised your mistake when a new baby proved you were just lucky!

[perceptionreality]

My older two children, from babies slept and slept through every illness and ear infection without needing calpol or anything much before returning to their normal selves. Why on earth did people buy these over the counter medications, my dh and I used to say? Why does anyone need them?

After I had dd3 I quickly woke up to the fact that people buy these things because for some children, a slight sniffle is red rag to a bull! And that they represent the only hope of a wink of sleep for you and said child.

Another sleeper followed by non-sleeper here. Oh how smug I was first time round.

Thank heavens it was the second time round, not the first, that I lost the baby weight and got back into my jeans in four months, or I would have been even smugger and probably exploded from sheer smugness.

I had DD1 - a horror of a baby - when my sis had her DD1, an absolute delight. Slept through, ate well etc etc. Sis was very condescending about the "fuss" I made.
Then she had DC2.....bwa ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa

should point out that these two "horrors" are now respectively a tall, willowy, talented 21 year old beauty, and a strapping 6 foot handsome 18 year old!!
Both a joy to be with!!

like this thread.

was a smug playgroup mum with my dd, such a gentle, trustworthy child, excellent sharer of toys, etc.

Then ds.
bit, kicked, fought, headbutted (!) wrestled, threw toys across the room, smashed crashed and bashed. tantrummed when I stopped him.
mortifying.

I think generally mums of girls are far smugger than mums of boys Boys destroy your smuggery.

DD1 is a fabulous eater, will try anything, has never ever looked at her plate and said "I'm not eating that." I was so smug. You just have to introduce them to different tastes, you know.

DD2 is a nightmare. Regularly refuses food she liked 2 days ago. Gets the strop about everything being not quite right and refuses to eat anything at all. Prefers white food. No sauces. The list goes on, whatever picky cliche you can think of, she fits it, right down to the screaming and slithering under the table at restaurants when she doesn't like the look of things. I think she was sent as a judgement on my smugness.

I had any smug kicked out of me the first time round.

I seriously doubted myself many times when confronted by other people saying things like "Just say no then!" and "Well if you feed them enough in the daytime they sleep all night. You just have to be consistent".

I did have a very easy second DC.

DD1 never cried. When other babies cried I wondered why their mothers didn't just pick them up. Thats all it took after all. As long as I was holding DD I could do anything: go to the cinema, read a whole novel, have in-depth discussions with friends etc etc. This was not just when she was a newborn, even at 12 months she was happy sitting next to me just watching the world go by, never moving, never making a noise, just watching and smiling. It was clearly a myth that babies cried.

Then DD2 came. And cried. And was impossible to read. And demanded constant attention. Three years in and I still can't do any of the following in her presence: read a page of a book, watch a minute of TV, speak to her (still pretty angelic) sister for more than a minute.

DH is keen on having a DC3 but by gosh I am scared. What if we continue with the same trend? What might the next one be like???

Nothing to be smug about with dc1 (DS) Terrible sleeper, reflux, nursing strike, weaning onto solids was horrid.

DD, dc2, going the same way.

Actually I felt like after DS, I could handle a tough baby. 8 weeks in with DD, it feels a lot harder

Both ds and dd have been difficult as babies/toddlers. My ds was a difficult toddler, was the hitter at toddler group and would run off into the road as soon as opened the car door. He never stopped moving

My dd cried and screamed for about 9 months, she would not be put down so I carried her in a sling. My back still hurts, 4 years later! She woke hourly through the night until until 2 years and woke for the day at 5 am and I tried everything to get her to settle. Nothing worked, except a time she was ready to sleep by herself. She has always been a stubborn little madam headstrong from the day she was born.

I am due dc3 in 4 weeks time. Dear God, please let it be my time for an easy baby!

I swear my DS cried almost solidly for the first 9 weeks of his life. He wouldn't sleep lying flat - one of us had to sleep sitting up holding him. He never woke up gradually, was either asleep or screaming. My 2 best friends had babies at the same time and neither of them had any problems at all. They fell madly in love with their babies while I sunk into a fairly deep depression. They both gave me lots of advice and I could see that they thought I was doing a bad job or just not 'coping'.

DD was born 2.5 years later and was totally different. She could lie in a moses basket. She could sleep. She woke up and cooed in her bed for a while. I just remember thinking, "That's why everyone else seemed ok with their babies, they'd had a totally different experience!".

Having DD really helped as I finally realised it hadn't been my fault. However, I did feel bad about how I'd felt about DS. He had obviously been uncomfortable which I think I appreciated at the time but it's hard to be 100% sympathetic when you're run ragged yourself.

One of the best friends had their 2nd baby at the same time and had a child like DS which gave me great pleasure!

I was smug for the first 4 months of ds's life. He slept 7 hours at a stretch. I bf him easily, 15 min each side, every few hours. We took him out to cafes and parties. I was the first of my friends to have a baby and everyone fussed over us.

Then he stopped sleeping at 4 months and didn't start again until he was three. We kept going to cafes until he learned to walk and turned into a rampaging destructive toddler who couldn't be taken anywhere. I had to shadow him at playgroups. Carry him out of everywhere, kicking and screaming, in a rugby hold under my arm. No one wanted to knnow us. I completely lost any claim to smugness.

But now he is five and I have a lovely 3 y o dd, and I am starting to recover, well not smugness, exactly, but a sense of complacency about my family. It is such bliss to get a decent amount of sleep (although I still get woken up most nights by one child at least), to be able to take the dcs out in public and not be humiliated, to have people telling us that the our dcs are lovely children. I think I appreciate just being able to sit and relax while the dcs are playing in a park or something much more than I ever would if I hadn't gone through those few years of hell.

Ah, yes. I thought it was due to excellent parenting that the first one slept through from an early age, potty trained early, would (and still does) eat anything I fed him. If it wasn't for the rivers of sick (reflux) he would have been Perfect Baby.

Then I had the second.

I think some of these babies are sent as a punishment for being smug.

Oh I was lucky. DC1 was a huge challenge, so I never got chance to be smug. DC2 came along and it was a light bulb moment - so that's how everyone else managed.

I must say that DC5 is also presenting a new set of challenges. Never had a child who drew on walls before (OK I admit it, that was something No Child Of Mine was ever going to do )

Same as you Gladys- DS was more of a challenge from day one. All the others have been a breeze compared to the saga of sleeplessness, injuries (usually falls), excessive inquisitiveness and lack of regard for personal safety and minor illness that was DS. We spent 4 months trying to rock DD1 to sleep only to realise all she wanted was to be put in her cot and left to get on with it. All three DDs have however benefited greatly from the extra conditioning inflicted on us by their brother.

DD1 was like Mrs Quietly well behaved and I thought it was due to our excellent parenting skills. Then DD2 arrived.

I remember my sister telling me that the reason her 3mo DC1 slept so well (20/24 hours) was entirely due to her superior parenting, and that she'd worked jolly hard to achieve that. And then she had DC2, then DC3 and realised what I was talking about. DC4 seems an easy baby but gets very little attention. I hope she gets an easy DC5. I do believe that she has lost some smuggery. I do feel sorry for her DC2 and 3 though, forever destined to be labeled "difficult". Although her DC1 is no longer a walk in the park either. [old woman who lived in a shoe]

Dd1 - amazing sleeper and eater, most days she wouldn't get up til around 10am. I just couldn't understand why these deficient parents didn't just put the baby in the cot to let it sleep. She wasn't 'busy ' at all either, at 18 months old, I could sit her infront of the tv and leisurely get dressed made up etc for the day. However dd is still a whiner of the first order, I literally could not even sit my arse on the settee as she would crank up screaming if she wasn't amused when awake.
Dd2- I had my comeuppance big time in regards to sleep. The first signs being only a couple of hours old she refused to sleep in the hospital cot. Fine I thought, il sort this out at home . Once home, she refused point blank to sleep in her cot, and spent the next 6 months glued to my side in bed waking every half hour to loll a nipple in her mouth. Luckily she is very sunny and smiley, and happily plays on the floor for hours, only wanting an occasional talking to etc, good job really as I'm knackered! Unfortunately I've also discovered you need to childproof, dd1 didn't touch or mess anything, dd3 is behind the tele, in amongst wires, if left to her own devices.

Think outnumbered!

We have the lovely sensible Jake, the sweet and entertaining Karen

and in the middle we have one just like Ben. It is a miracle he survived toddlerdom. Even to this day he lives life on a very dangerous edge! he walked the dog whilst riding his unicycle today

Teachers have actually looked at us in complete amazement and said "oh he's never related to".....

Dd1 was brilliant at sitting happily in her highchair for long periods of time at family meals, in restaurants etc, eating out with her was a joy and attributable to our excellent parenting having exposed her to such occasions on a regular basis.
Dd2 is a highchair escapologist, won't sit for more than a few minutes. Thinking of giving up on eating out for the next few years. Smugness all gone.

Oh God, EVERYTHING. I was a much better parent before I actually had children.

I particularly blush when I remember how I used to reckon I would be a 'firm but fair' parent. Inconsistent, indulgent, shouty parent more like.

Both dd1 and dd2 have been fairly easy in most respects except one. Dd1 was pretty trustworthy and wouldn't dream of wandering off. Dd2 is a bolter. Anywhere and everywhere. I have nearly lost her in shops and twice now have mislaid her at the school gate and she's been retrieved by a terrified kind parent from running into the car park.

letsblowthistacostand DS1 is a fabulous eater, will try anything, has never ever looked at his plate and said "I'm not eating that." I was so smug. You just have to introduce them to different tastes, you know.

DS2 is a nightmare. Regularly refuses food he liked 2 days ago. Gets the strop about everything being not quite right and refuses to eat anything at all. Prefers white food. No sauces. The list goes on, whatever picky cliche you can think of,he fits it, right down to the screaming and slithering under the table at restaurants when she doesn't like the look of things . A friend once begged to take her children home after we'd sat in McDonalds for an hour and 40 mins and he was only on his 3rd chiken nugget. (Serves me right - he's 16 now and still doesn't like McDonalds!) I think he was sent as a judgement on my smugness.

Luckily DC1 was the difficult baby (wouldn't sleep unless walked in the pram for anything up to nine hours a day - no wonder I was below my pre-pregnancy weight at my one-month checkup), and DC2 is a doddle.

I used to see parents plugged into their iPods while walking with their children and secretly judge. Now DC1 is the four-year-old who does.not.stop.talking.EVER, I quite get where they were coming from and am contemplating buying myself an iPod.

Fortunately I had the won't BF, would only eat savoury food mixed with yoghurt, fiddled with everything, escape artist, first
It was a total revelation to have a child that played with toys rather than climbing the furniture to reach things she shouldn't.
I finally understood why other people could still have photos, pens and CD at child hight despite having toddlers.