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Parenting

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Original poster

Join me in saying NO to Facebook til age 13.

65 replies

weevilswobble · 21/01/2012 08:06

Just that really. I'd like DD2 to have a childhood without the drug of Facebook. They can live without it, we can say no!

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Bucharest · 21/01/2012 08:12

We can say no till we're blue in the face and the skies fall in.

It's just going to make the kids even more determined to have an account. Like fags.

Likewise the having-your-Mum-as-a-friend so she can police it is just going to make them doubly determined to have 2 accounts.

Asinine · 21/01/2012 08:20

I have dcs 13,11,9 and 6. None of them have asked for it or talk about it. Dh and I aren't on it either.

How old are your dcs?

kreecherlivesupstairs · 21/01/2012 08:21

I don't understand FB since I don't have it. DD 10.8 is desperate to have it. Apparently I am very unreasonable to say no. ALL her friends have it. I can accept that some do, but all? I doubt it.
DH is a teacher, he sees on a day to day basis the damage (and to be fair the good) that FB does.
She can have it the day she turns 13.

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Asinine · 21/01/2012 09:11

That's precisely 3 of us, then.

See, I knew everyone wasn't on it.

themildmanneredjanitor · 21/01/2012 09:12

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OddBoots · 21/01/2012 09:15

I tend to take the view that setting it up on a pedestal as being this thing that you can have when you get to the magical age of 13 (just when you want to start rebelling) is more dangerous.

Both my children (aged 12 and nearly 9) have FB, the email addresses are ones that their dad and I control and they only have family as 'friends'. They get to learn how it all works and we can monitor them. When they turn 13 that doesn't mean we will allow them complete control of it, it will be a gradual thing.

Theonewiththehair · 21/01/2012 09:18

Ds is now 15 and we told him no to Facebook when he was younger. He stopped asking in the end until about 14 when we said yes. It took him about 8 months after that to actually set it up and he rarely uses it. I think he just got used to not having it.

He also doesn't have BBM but he does text and 'phone a lot.

Stick to your guns and don't give in to pressure. They can survive without it!

Theonewiththehair · 21/01/2012 09:20

I also have his email and password. He has access on his 'phone and still rarely uses it. Mainly to talk to my brothers who live away.

sassyTHEFIRST · 21/01/2012 09:20

I have an account. My dds don't - they understand that the rules say 13+ and don't moan even though a few friends are on there (might be a bit more persistent in a couple of years?). They are 9 and 7.

themildmanneredjanitor · 21/01/2012 09:30

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FlossieFromCrapstonVillas · 21/01/2012 09:32

My 12 yr old son has an account. I police it, he doesn't have a second account ( this wouldn't even cross his or his friend's minds!) he has wonderful, close, sensible friends and his aunty/family sees his photos too. Win win.

It's good for us, I understand if it's not for you, those of us who allow it aren't dimwits without a clue.

Original poster

weevilswobble · 21/01/2012 15:19

I have FB, and so does DD1 who is 18 and living and working abroad. I think my issue is the addictiveness of it, the anxiety to check, the paranoia when people dont comment or care about something you've said.

I think you have to have FB to understand what its all about.

DD1 (18) has gone off abroad and has her whole social network at her fingertips! Its amazing. But when she was without internet access felt v lonely, as most of what she arranges with friends etc revolves around the messaging via FB.

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MmeLindor. · 21/01/2012 15:22

Hmm. Not sure what the thread is about. Are you just wanting people to agree with you or are you wanting to campaign about this?

Fwiw, my DC don't have FB yet, but if they want it then I will set it up for them, with certain provisions. Since we are soon to move away from their friends, it might be that they ask for this soon.

FB is just the vehicle in which to use the internet to keep in touch with friends. Just as when your child learns to drive, you have to teach them responsible and safe usage of that vehicle.

Crazybit · 21/01/2012 15:24

DD is 11 and desperate for it, she has no chance, not till she is 13, even though all her mates have it. Those who let children under 13 have it are essentially teaching kids that it is ok to lie about their age as you have to put the wrong date in in order for FB to allow an account to be created.

BackforGood · 21/01/2012 15:29

ds and then dd1 had to wait until they were 13. dd2 will too. You do actually have to be 13 to sign up to it, so surely you are starting the whole thing by lying if you don't ? Not something I want to encourage.

Ragwort · 21/01/2012 15:29

I think you have to have FB to understand what its all about - agree - I don't have it, and I don't understand it. Perhaps I am missing out but as I don't know what I am missing out I am perfectly happy without it ! My DS hasn't got it - I explained it was for over 13s and he moaned a bit understood.

I do agree with what weevil says, certain (not all, obviously) people seem to be addicted to it - and judging from threads on Mumsnet - taking it far too seriously.

I am probably an old fogey but I do see a trend in the popularity of 'social networking' yet the inability for old fashioned face to face coversations, general social skills etc - the number of people that seem unable to make 'small talk' is quite shocking - yet lots of people seemed glued to their mobiles - sorry, gone completely off topic but it is a bit of a hobby-horse of mine !!!

Ragwort · 21/01/2012 15:32

Genuine question - do you have to lie to put in your date of birth - when I was explaining to DS that it was for over 13s we actually looked at the 'start up' page (or whatever it is called) - there is a space for date of birth but by the explanation it just said something about needing it so that you only receive 'age appropriate' information, nothing about it being for over 13s only. I would have thought it would be sensible to make this a lot clearer, on the very first page.

tabulahrasa · 21/01/2012 15:35

Yes you have to lie if you're under 13, if you put in a correct DOB it doesn't let you continue

Ragwort · 21/01/2012 16:57

Thanks for that, tabulahrasa - I still think it would be better to have in clear, bold print on the first page 'over 13s only'.

Original poster

weevilswobble · 21/01/2012 20:53

Hi mmelindor, basicly once your child is in yr 7 the pressure gets stronger to have FB. The whole peer pressure thing, and the sudden realisation that you have become the youngest (having been the big kids in yr 6, at primary) all add to the wanting to be more grown up and not a kid anymore.
Therefore this whole 11-13 age is a phase in itself, so my thread is really about parents in this phase saying no and gaging opinion on the matter. Most of me thinks stick to my guns, but a little part of me wants to give in.

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rubyrubyruby · 21/01/2012 20:55

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SwedishEdith · 21/01/2012 20:56

Well, they can set up an account on a friend's computer so not sure how you're planning on policing this

Original poster

weevilswobble · 21/01/2012 20:59

Well i asked DD this evening who did and who didnt and she says over half do. And that in an IT lesson after a show of hands they were told they shouldnt lie about their age on the internet.

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rubyrubyruby · 21/01/2012 21:00

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Original poster

weevilswobble · 21/01/2012 21:02

My DD would be far too worried about having a v angry Mum and the punishment of losing her netbook to set an account up behind my back.

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