What skills from work/education do you bring to parenting (and vice versa)?

[Kathy1972]

This is a question for SAHMs and WOHMs.... what aspects of your education or work do you feel have been most useful to you in parenting?
One of the lines that often comes up when there is one of those discussions that says we should all be staying at home is 'why bother educating us at all in that case?' - however in the 7 months since my dd was born I've felt like my biggest secret weapon is my completely irrelevant PhD as it has given me the ability to skim through a heap of baby manuals and confidently assess the extent to which they're research-based/ideology driven. Conversely, one of my colleagues says that bringing up toddlers has immensely improved his ability to deal with difficult MA students! Just wondered if there was anyone else out there with a job/training completely unrelated to childcare who feels like it has helped them with parenting in unpredictable ways....!

ps On the other hand, I now catch myself using the most appalling management speak in a baby context - eg I was talking about cedeing my husband control of policy on bedtime the other day....

hee hee - don't think me asking someone to 'Beep Beep' in Canary Wharf station the other day is quite what you're after (should point out it was 6.50am and I was on my way to work,no children in sight!!)
I had to deal with a very difficult and argumentative colleague in a different department, and employed the approach I was using with my DS at the time (who was 18 months): I decided at the start of any discussion whether or not the outcome really mattered to me. I allowed her to win the ones I didn't care about and fought for the ones I wanted. The result? Totally improved relationship, so much so my manager (who is also a parent) ommentd on it and asked me what I'd done, so I confessed - it caused much mirth around the office for days!!!

i'm a teacher and it amuses me that all the behaviour management stuff we learn for dealing with stroppy tenagers is EXACTLY the smae as the techniques for dealing with toddlers. you konw - ignore, praise, distract, cajole etc etc.

when I (breifly) returned to work I was a better teacher in the sense that I saw every child as someone's precious son/daughter in a way I'd not before. the down side was after a year at home with a baby I had to be careful not to address all the teenagers as "poppet" or "sweetheart"!!

Some time BC (before children) I had a really arsey, evil, difficult client to deal with, who seemed to have as his sole ambition reducing my normal professional self to the state of a gibbering wreck. After dealing with him for several weeks I was finally brought to the end of my tether, and threated my boss that I'd resign if I wasn't taken off the account and that I never wanted to speak to that W**r again.

I survived though.

It was only a couple of years later when I had to deal with my first child's transition to toddlerhood that I realised how similar some of the converations and empotions were!

empotions? emotions, I mean!

You asked someone to 'beep beep' Imafairy? Is that the same as asking someone to beep off? (Or just toddlerspeak for get out of the way? Sorry, haven't got to that stage yet....!)

LOL - see my post on Enids 'someone from work just shouted at me....' thread in chat.
V similiar problems at home and work!

Having supported women suffering dv and counselling them, it has actually helped me at the school gates (DS1 started reception 4 days ago).

A few years ago, I would have never gone up to a stranger and just started talking to them and making small talk, without a very real fear of rejection. This week, I surprised myself by just going up to the mums at the gates and chatting away. Consequently, I have spoken to a fair few over the last few days .

Also, I believe the fact that I have a BA in Modern Languages compels me to educate DS1 (DS2 too young at 8 months) about other cultures, countries, etc. So when 'Open a Door' comes onto Cbeebies and he complains about how boring it is, I make him watch it

Kathy - "beep beep" as in 'get out of the way'! Thankfully have remembered to mind my language in front of DS (although he did knock something over and say 'bugger' recently )!

I have the world's most archaic and useless degree - History, MA, Oxford.... and if anyone had warned me at 18 how utterly pointless it would be in the real world I probably wouldn't have bothered. It afforded me nothing at all in any of the jobs I have done (apart from derision when people found out) However since being a SAHM (three years now, 2DS's) I have found that some familiar skills have crept in where I would never have expected them. It's just things like being able to sift data and sniff out bullshit very easily - came in very handy when being bombarded with information about nurseries and primary provision. Also being able to stick at something difficult and believe that I can bring it to fruition on my own, without support. Being a SAHM can be very lonely and can involve making very difficult/delicate judgements without having either anyone to discuss things with or the space to be objective. I definitely think the discipline of academic study has given me something unexpected there.

As far as transferrable skills from work to home though.... nothing specific, just more practice at doing things I don't like and controlling annoyance!

Knowledge wise - my degree has been very useful because it's medical so I can usually work out what's wrong with the kids, I know what their medicines are doing - what's worth taking and what's not, whether it's worth going to GP/A&E blah blah (I still work in medicine so pretty up to speed on it all). I can diagnose pretty well. Also did psychology, including child psychology/development, as part of my first year so I'm quite good on developmental milestones aswell (not that that particularly matters I suppose).

Skills wise - have always been mega organised and that helps when you have 3 under 5. Can quite successfully juggle, kids, house and freelance career (ok, I do tear my hair out a lot of the time as well but all in all I think I'm pretty good at the whole thing ).

If anyone asked me why I bothered to get an education I'd punch them on the nose.

Well I worked for HomeStart with loads of Autistic famillies (a coincidence that was, I was based near a popular therapy centre) and I had an AS kid, which I spotted early and have been able to be proactive with, not that it's helped me with the NHS side but anyway, helped me. I also have fundraiser skills which enabled me to source the funding to go to Uni so that was good . The Home Start stint also gave me the knowledge I needed to deal with DH's depression when that was an issue.

My degree now? Hmmm. Not sure Religion and Philosophy will help at home, but the Psychology classes I am also taking will help me understand a lot I am sure. It's certainly helped my maths (the stats side) and for the first time ever I didn't use my overdraft last term!

Actually, we did meditation at Uni (Buddhism class) and I taught Sam that and he now leeps much better. yes, that was good! Very, very good!

Poshpaws- yes you;'re right come to think of it, my global civilisation module has made me think of how my kids are educated about such issues, and they already understand the concept of charity and multiculturalism. They also gave me a long speech about how skin colour doesn't matter the other day, I loved that .

Thank you for all those comments... very interesting! To summarise, it seems that if you can deal with toddlers you can deal with anyone.....

I would definately agree that dealing with a toddler has made me realise more than ever how important people skills are and that giving a bit of positive feedback and encouragement goes a long way to getting the best out of people.

Work is sooooo straightforward compared to parenting. Nothing in my education or work prepared me for parenting, I'm afraid. At work, it is water off a duck's back. At home, I'm a total softie ...