Anti-Smackers Wanted

[Xenia]

As a long term lobbyist against smacking children, spanking, slapping, etc etc whether a "little tap" or anything, I know there are lots of anti-smackers on Mumsnet too.

If you do share that view then respond to this consultation
www.homeoffice.gov.uk/publications/about-us/consultations/definition-domestic-violence/dv-definition-consultation?view=Binary

on that issue - where it talks about violence against those under 18 there is no reason at all why the bill (which in some aspects I do not accept which is why I happened to be looking at it) should not be a great vehicle to get all smacking banned, not just smacking which leaves a mark which is the current ridiculous English law and is a typical British fudge.

You can respond direct to the consultation and/or ask your MP to take a particular stance on it.

On the other proposals in the consultation I would be against legal changes as there is too much scope for abuse of the proposed new law.

the reason the husband / wife analogy doesnt really work is the intent behind it. In both situations the final outcome is one of control yes, but for very different reasons.

Obviously Im not green enough to think that there arent arseholes who think nothing of a smack and will use it regularly, and IMO it is those who need help.

One thing I would like to ban is the use of the word 'tap' as a euphemism for smack. It's an abuse of the English language. I just looked it up in the dictionary to make quite sure and 'tap' is defined as 'a gentle knock' - if you smack a child then the whole point is that it hurts, surely?

"He tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention." Doesn't suggest the infliction of pain, does it?

I also think this debate is getting a bit hung up on the one-off running into the road scenario - even if smacking was illegal, no parent would ever be criminalised for that. I don't know whether it would make parents less likely to seek help as reallytired suggests. I suspect it wouldn't make much difference as parents either trust professionals or they don't.

We are not talking about more legiskation. We are talking about less - about giving children the same rights as adults, about saying that you can commit assault on a chidl which stops short of actual bodily harm.

The Children's Commissioner in yesterday's paper www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8962118/Arresting-young-people-should-be-last-resort-says-Childrens-Commissioner.html and also in today's Telegraph page 2 is calling for this protection for children.

I think it is very easy to get on your high horse about smacking if you are working all the time xenia and don't therefore parent them 100% of the time. I am generally anti-smacking but I have smacked dd in a temper once or twice because she was either putting herself at risk or being very, very naughty. I feel bad but I would NEVER beat her. TBH I DO understand how parents are driven to smack; it is shite parenting but parenting is so bloody hard.

I think that if my dd run into a road I would smack her to teach her a lesson. So shoot me. It could save her life. Or at least I would yell very, very loudly and give her lots of hugs and love so she knew I still love her; where do you draw the line? I would rather a quick smack than emotional abuse.

My smacks were more of a reflex reaction but as I am a shite, impatient mum that is hardly surprising is it? My late mum used to beat me and I remmebr how awful it was and how it fucked me up. I would absolutely outlaw beatings. But tbh it was the passive, aggresive emotional shit that fucked me up more.

When mum dies this year I totally forgave her, I love her so much and I totally understand that as amum with bipolar what drove her to smack. I understand this so much more since having kids. I would never stoop to some of the lows taht she did but I still remmebre the good she did for me and I remmebr very clearly how fucking awful I was to her and how it must have driven her to the edge. Mabe that was a result of being smacked but she certainly got her comeupance.

as a teen I should add.

died sorry.