i dont know what im doing

[crazybubbasmummy]

i have 2 ds one 4 next month and one 4 months

i just never know what ds2 (4 months) wants, he cries and screams all the time unless im walking about holding him, which is sometimes impossible with a near 4 year old

he never wants his milk except first bottle of the day but cries when it would be due but throws himself about when i try to give it to him

so ive started solids but he still needs to tske his milk

he never wants to go to sleep i have to swaddle him and rock him to sleep up until now i could just lay him down and he would just go to sleep with no help

but as soon as i lay him down he wakes up screaming

he takes in so much wind where he cries so much i feel like he constantly needs burping but he dont bring it up

and now what used to be bath bottle burp and bed no problem has turned into bath screaming winding bottle more screaming more winding more throwing himself about more winding more bottle more tears from him and me and swaddling rocking him to sleep which all in all takes 2 hours

he slept through but now i think cause he isnt self soothing hes getting restless at night

he has even starting screaming going in his pushchair and the car

im at my wits end and feel terrible on ds1 cause im just not doing anything with him and he has started getting his own pjs on and going to bed on his own with out me having to ask and its breaking my heart that he has just come to terms with the fact im to busy for him

feeling very sad and useless ds1 was a dream compared to this

I reckon you should consider if it might be silent reflux. My son showed all (similar) symptoms at 10 weeks. By 15 weeks he was on proper medicine (gaviscon and ranitidine) and improved immeasurably. Read all about silent reflux, draw your own conclusions, and take him to the doctor to get an opinion. And don't give up if they try to fob you off with "it is just colic, it'll go in time". Good luck.

Oh poor you :(

Ok a few questions. Is he on a feeding schedule? How often are you feeding him?

When you try and feed, what happens?

You say he cries when you lie him flat, or in the car or pushchair?

My first thoughts are he's overtired and/or has reflux causing him pain when feeding and putting him off feeding. This peaked around 3-4 months with our DS.

Have you got a sling and a bouncy chair? Try using the sling for day naps and popping him in a bouncy chair with a dummy and white noise on at bedtime while you read to your older DS at bedtime.

Consider giving him more frequent smaller milk feeds during the day so he takes down less and will have less wind. Eg every three hours. And give a dummy after a feed.
Same for the car/pushchair - give a dummy and don't put him in until an hour after a feed as wind makes it painful for baby.

Try giving a few minutes of tummy a day, half an hour after a feed to help with wind.

Also consider switching to a comfort milk if you can? Easier to digest.

i should have said he does have reflux and has gaviscon in all his bottles
i might try the smaller more often feeds he already feeds every 3 hours but gets so fed up he only takes half his bottle
i got some comfort milk in the cupboard from when he was first born and had constipation maybe ill give that a go tomorrow
do yous think it could be his reflux getting worse i just assumed cause he alredy had gaviscon i didnt think it could be that
he will not sit in his chair for any amount of time and spits his dummy out as soon as its near his lips
ive tried leaving him to moan and get on with it but he screams to such a degree he looks as though he will explode and when i pick him up he is drenched in sweat ive never left him for more than 3 minutes

Gaviscon might not be enough, it wasn't for my son either, it sort of worked for a little while, but it wasn't until he had been on ranitidine for a week that he had proper relief. Go back to you doctor again and explain that it isn't working. And keep going back until they help you. There are three things you can give a reflux baby, gaviscon, ranitidine and something that sounds like dom perignon. Don't give up, it will get better with help. Remember, EVERYTHING is a phase! Good luck.

we have drs at 8:30 am tomorrow so ill tell him i want something better, thank you x