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Parenting

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Original poster

Saying 'no'.

7 replies

Pfriend · 15/10/2011 16:40

What do you do when your toddler (mine is 13 months) thinks that when you say 'no' it means put a cheeky grin on your face and do it again and again. At the moment we are removing him from whatever the problem is and distracting. But he then goes back to doing it again later.

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debbie1412 · 15/10/2011 18:33

Im having the same thing with my 13 month old, Im just saying no and removing, the 1st "no" i say in a soft tone then get more hard if i have to repeat which is always and is now starting to get a tantrum as a result. He does understand tho because i see him glance at me when he decides he going to try and touch it again. Broken record springs to mind lol x

Sirzy · 15/10/2011 18:38

You just have to keep persevering with it and really going with the distraction, praising when he does things well.

Also pick your battles. Try to limit the nos to things he REALLY can't do (either dangerous or breakables generally here) otherwise you just feel like your spending the whole day saying no!

Iggly · 15/10/2011 20:52

He's a bit young. Save "no" for when it really matters. Plus it's all in the tone of voice not the word itself. Toddlers are impulsive and find it difficult to control their urges - and they will keep doing the same thing over and over to see if the same rule applies.

If you don't want them to touch it at this age, hide it. As they get a bit older you can teach them more easily but at that age it's a losing battle.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/10/2011 21:42

You have to 'be' no rather than just saying it. Tone of voice, expression in your face, stance, eyes... the whole nine yards A lot of the naughty stuff they do that age is pretty funny so when you say it you can't afford to be ambiguous.

AngelDog · 15/10/2011 23:15

Offering an alternative of what they can do works much better.

e.g. we say 'you can touch the books but leave them on the shelf' rather than 'don't pull the books off the shelf'.

Iggly · 16/10/2011 01:55

Yes, agree with Angel

Also 13 months is still a baby really. DS is 2 now and he's changed so much in the last year, can't believe I thought of him as a toddler at 13 months (he was walking).

Octaviapink · 16/10/2011 06:04

I agree with Angel too - we restrict 'NO' to things that are actually dangerous. If it's just something I'd prefer he didn't do we either compromise - as in "you can tip all the chalks on the floor but then we're going to pick them all up again" or I take whatever it is away and put it out of reach/ distract him. If it's simple mess-creation then it can be best to let them get on with it. Taking stuff out of the kitchen cupboards drives one of my friends crazy - as a result it's remained Top Fun Activity for her toddler for about eight months and counting.

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