Talk me through your 8 y.o's bedtime

[ExpectoPatronum]

I had a try of posting this in Chat, but it got the grand total of zero responses, so I'm trying again here!

DD is 8. She has two younger brothers of 6 and 5. I tend to put them all to bed about 7.45pm, and the boys pretty much go straight off to sleep.

DD, on the other hand, gets into bed, reads for a bit (this is fine), gets out of bed to go to the loo, comes back, turns light off, turns light back on again, decides she's too hot, gets a drink, turns light off, tosses and turns.... and so on.

I suspect that she's going to bed marginally early, and then when she can't go straight off to sleep, she works herself up into a frenzy of sleeplessness. Last night (admittedly it was really hot) I went in to check on her at 10pm before I went to bed myself, to find her wide awake.

I'm considering letting her stay up a bit later than the boys, e.g. until 8.15pm, with the proviso that she must be showered, in pyjamas, and doing something quiet and calm like reading or drawing, or playing with her Sylvanians, and not careering round the place, dancing, watching TV or playing on the Wii. Then when it's bedtime she is to settle down straight away with none of the great performance we have at the moment.

Parents of 8s and up - do you think this sounds reasonable? What is a sensible bedtime for an active 8 y.o anyway?

DS is 7.5 and he's ready for bed by 8pm, allowed to read in his room until 8.30 weekdays and 9pm weekends. Last night he was very hot and was still awake at 9.30, but in general this pattern works well for him, and he still manages to get up in the mornings.

Our dd generally goes to bed at around 8.30. I'd probably let your dd stay up a bit later than her younger brothers. DD does watch tv before bed (downstairs, she doesn't have her own tv) - but we do still read a bedtime story.

My eight year old goes upstairs at 8.15, and reads in bed till 8.45 - then drops off right away even with big brother still reading in the top bunk. He has a late night (9.00) on Fridays.

Ah.

Realise I might have been being a bit over-stringent with the bedtimes

This is very helpful, thank you.

As a matter of interest, while we're talking later bedtimes, how do you deal with still having children up in the evenings, with regard to having any adult time just you & DH / DP? Does it just not happen? My DH has just started a new job which means he leaves the house before 7am, so we need to get to bed early ourselves!

And how do you play it with regard to meals? Are you & DH both home in time for the entire family to eat together, or do the DC eat earlier and you later? And if the latter, does the privileged staying-up child eat with her siblings or her parents?

We do a bit of both when it comes to meals - it depends on the day. If dd goes to after school club, she has a snack for supper and dh and I eat later, when she's in bed. That does mean we eat pretty late, but we are late birds and go to bed late as well! If dh and/or I are working at home, we all tend to eat together. 9pm onwards is generally dh's and my time, but as I say we do go to bed late so this works for us. dh is currently doing a website so some evenings he's mainly on the PC!

We have dinner about 7- 7.30 when dp gets in, then as soon after 8 as poss it's reading/bedtime. Sometimes she reads herself afterwards for a while, dunno how long for, if I go to the loo later and check she's always asleep. She gets up at 7.15.

DD needs her sleep so gets ready for bed at 6:30, does something with her dad (computerish) until about 7:15 then goes to bed and reads (occasionally I read to her), lights out at 8pm.
She is very active during the day and we've found that if she is physically tired she drops off a lot quicker. If she hasn't fallen asleep by 9pm she is a complete nightmare the next day, whiny, crying, shrieking etc.
She gets up at 7:15am.

Hi, so we do different things each day after school becuase of times we finish work, after school club etc.
BUT
We eat at 6pm-6.30, all together at the dining room table, no telly.
Then we clear pots, dishwasher loaded and then settle on the sofa.

Watch a bit of telly.

I bought a little timer last wekeend, so i set it for 15 mins for shower at 7.15.
He LOVES the timer because its like a compertition to beat it!
He comes and watches a bit more telly, then bed at 8, teeth clean & wee, and i read with him for about 10 minutes, he still loves a bedtime story and cuddle.
We are flexible, but he is usually in bed and settled by 8.30, usually asleep by then too. (on a school night that is)

I plan to within an inch of our lives though, so i am organised. I meal plan, and have quick teas when its an evening when we are in for 6ish.
ds has footy 2 nights aweek, so its a very quick tea & out.
Finely tuned machine, is the only way to ensure every one is fed, happy & in bed for a decent hour!

Totally agree, gigglepin, I'm a compulsive meal planner and list maker too.

I think what I'm finding quite difficult at the moment is that DD's activities now seem to be scheduled later in the evenings, but poor little DS2 who is only 5 is majorly tired and needs to eat and be in bed earlier than that.

I know I'm not the only person in this situation (in fact, the gap between my eldest and youngest is very small compared to some people) so I guess he's just going to have to build up his stamina!

during the week ds (age 5 tomorrow!) is in bed for 7.45pm with an 8.30pm bedtime at the weekend. DD (nearly 8) is in bed for 8.15pm during the week and 9pm at the weekend. I feed the kids around 5/5.30pm and me and dh eat together later (he cooks for the two of us).

DD age 8 in bed at 8.30 then I read or she reads aloud then we have a chat about the day and cuddles lights out at 9.00 am she is asleep withing minutes, I wake her at 7.30 am.

giggle pin how do you manage to get back from work, cook and eat by 6.30?

I really have been guilty of bedtime fascism, haven't I?! My 5 y.o must never hear about Seona's who goes to bed at 8.30pm on the weekend!

However, I'm bohemian compared to my colleague who puts her Y2 DD to bed at six pee em every night .

Actually, this is quite interesting. Do you think that it has a bearing whether you have work outside the home or not (ooh, straying dangerously into WOHM / SAHM territory here ) Not intending to be in any way contentious, it just occurred to me that if you have to finish work at 5.30 or so, collect from CM, get home, cook a meal etc., then bedtime will probably end up being later than if you don't.

(I work school hours so I guess I'm somewhere in between)

Expecto, my DD wouldn't go to bed at 9pm if I got home earlier. I arrive home at 7pm have to do home work bath etc, also I like to chat to DD having not seen her all day.

My DS is in Yr 4 - 8 going on 9 - but is in bed for 7.30 and lights out at 8. He usually drops off straight away and on cubs night, when he's in bed an hour later, struggles a bit the next day. However, he's always woken up really early - 5.30-6 am - even after a very late night, so he needs to make up his sleep somewhere!

I don't work but Dh doesn't get home till around 7pm so he gets time to see the kids before bed. Ds only got his later bedtime in the last couple of months and seems to be coping ok with it.

Soudns sensible to let her have some extra time up after the boys are in bed. My dd will be 8 later this month, and she is usually in bed by 7.30 and reads till 8, later at weekends. We also let her come back downstairs and have some time with us sometimes.

As a matter of interest, while we're talking later bedtimes, how do you deal with still having children up in the evenings, with regard to having any adult time just you & DH / DP?
Dd is off by 8 so we still have plenty of time...

And how do you play it with regard to meals? Are you & DH both home in time for the entire family to eat together, or do the DC eat earlier and you later? Kids eat at 5 and we eat at 8 after they're in bed. Usually. Kids eat together. If dd goes to bed later she might have 'supper' or a late snack.

6 pm is utter madness. This is when childrens tv is on in Norway. NO kid goes to bed before childrens tv, which is meant for children as young as 3.... Childrens tv is finished at 6.30. At 6.30 childrens tv for slightly older children start, and this is finished at 7-pm.

My sons (who dont watch tv, and especially not childrens tv, as they are too old, at 6 and 9) have lights off a 9pm.

I guess it was upstairs a bit after 8 lights out at 9 when DD2 was 8
Brownie nights we weren't back till almost 8 so it would slide a bit.
Two years later I can only dream of watching 9 pm telly. Generally I can chase My now 10 and 13 year old DDs into their rooms by 10. DD2 either corners her dad to read to her (soft hearted idiot, she reads better than I do) or goes to sleep. Big sister is like me, unlikely to be found asleep before midnight.

I gauge this from when they wake up and work backwards. If I have to wake them they are probably not going to bed early enough. If they are not getting straight to sleep they are going to bed too early.

We usually eat together as a family at 6.30 when dp gets home, earlier when possible. If they're tired they go to bed soon after supper, if not they go to bed later.

We ate together from when youngest was about 6, going to bed at 7.

We don't get much adult only time - but that's OK - when dcs are older they are less demanding and it's nice to spend time together. TV goes off when watershed comes in at 9 though.