My heart breaks for ds1

[nethunsreject]

SOrry - only got pc for 10 mins, but will also check back tomorrow.

My boy is 5yrs, happy at school and a cheery wee chap. WHere we live, it is very safe and all the kids play out - they can be seen at all times.

He is a 'crier' as I was and some of the older kids pick up on this, as kids do, and take advantage of it because they get a reaction.

I want him to be more resillient - to tell them he doesn't care when they try to wind him up. SOme of the kids are great, but some are horrid little brats.

I know my son isn't perfect. I am sure he can be a wee bugger too, but he is never deliberately horrible like a handful round here.

I wish I lived in a field, but until we have a lottery win, what do I do?

My sympathies as I also have a 'crier'. He's always found other children difficult to deal with, isn't what you call 'street-smart' and been a target for bullying from time to time. I've tried to build his confidence and expose him to challenging situations in a controlled way. We went the Beavers/Cubs/Scouts route and it did a lot of good on both counts. At the same time, the school did some work on helping him be a little more resilient with coping techniques. Things do improve.

Thanks Cogito.

He is very happy and outgoing other than this, but yes, I suspect he will be bullied from time to time. I had a hellish time as a kid and it is horrid watching ds go through similar.

His school is lovely, thank goodness.

Ditto on the 'hellish time as a kid' thing. But I reassure myself that I didn't do too badly from the experience in the end. One thing I've noticed about DS (now 11) since he emerged from that phase in his life is that he's the last person to go along with the crowd because he doesn't care about being popular. Very much his own man in that respect. He's also extremely kind to smaller kids... and I think that's a character trait to be proud of.

Yes, I hope he will always be a kind person himself. And it'd be good to see him being happy to go against the crowd - something I value very highly myself!

Is there any way you could introduce him to some sort of self defence/martial arts such as karate or judo? (sorry I'm not sure how old he is)

I've heard great things about kids who do these activities being very confident. Also, if the other kids know that he can "look after himself", you can bet your bottom dollar that they will back off!!!

Also, posture can help a lot. Get him to puff out his chest and hold his shoulders back - it will make him appear "bigger", and make him feel better too.

Yy, good idea WantTo.

He's 5, so probably old enough? Or nearly anyway!

As far as I know you can start karate from age 5 - not sure about any of the others