2 under 2 - tips & tricks please!

[Dozeyland]

Hey,

I am due 21st May 2012, my DD will be 1.5yrs old at that time.

I was just wondering those of you who have 2 children under two have any tips, tricks or advice to offer in regards to: the newborn weeks, how to make sure DD1 gets her attention, also im still BF DD, not sure if i will be too then who knows.

Activities for the three of us to do together, any really?!

Good luck..I have the same age gap,and DS2 is now 6 months old.Firstly, don't expect much from DD..DS1 was terribly jealous, scratched and hit his brother from day 1 and only now is a bit kinder to him.Spend loads of time with your DD especially at the beginning when the new baby is asleep so she doesn't feel rejected.Read books with them both on your knee.Activity-wise, we tend to go to playgroups where DS1 has friends and also where there are helpers to occupy DS1 whilst I BF DS2.We also go to museums, parks etc where we can take the double buggy easily and DS1 can play, or soft play especially with friends with just 1 as they look out for both toddlers if I'm stuck BF.At home, hate to say it but I have Cbeebies on for my toddler if I have to BF DS2; keeps him from causing trouble!Routine-wise, baby just has to fit in with toddler..same bath time and bed time but seems to work as baby is tired out by the end of the day with all the noise & stimulation from his brother.Can be overwhelming at times but on the whole I'm enjoying it and it's not as bad as people say..

I have 3, 1.5yrs between each. I found them all to be supprisingly caring to each other but I did need to kind of 'plan' activities for times I needed to cook, breast feed or settle baby etc - lots of cbeebies, baby einstein, books and 'busy' bags (random collected stuff in a pillow case - as in toys, toilet rolls, egg boxes, safe kitchen stuff),I also put them in high chair with crayons and paper.

Got out every day so wear them out although the activity was geared around toddler not baby - playgroups mostly. I couldn't do soft play as it was too much juggling. I liked small local playgroups with not too much stuff for them to fall off whilst I was stuck feeding! and friends I knew who would watch baby whilst I changed nappies.

dh helped pack change bag and do jobs in evening so I had a clear run the next day (in the beginning he used to make us a packed lunch too ) I really valued friends or relatives doing dinner for us too and had pizza and fish and chips waaayy to often (but they eat great now so I didn't do too much damage )

The best bit of advice I had was 'quality time' is being with them and sharing the same space - watch cbeebies with them and talk about whats happening in the programme, make time at the end of the day to read a bed time story, you don't have to be constantly with them playing (in fact it helps that they can learn to entertain themselves!) to be great just carve out some good time during the day, when baby is sleeping or similar.... I was also told it doesn't hurt them to cry

Hope that helps, its great, now they are 5, 3 and 2 they are great together and all share a bedroom and play really well, it was really really tough the first 9 months but it does pass!

Thank you for your post VBS

That's comforting to here a positive story. I am aware it'll be hard but as you said, it'll pass. and actually it'll fly by if i go by the last nearly 11 months with my DD, just got to embrace it i guess.

I only got my +ve today, my instant thought was oh i've let my girl down, ta she'll think she's being replaced. but that'll never happen i just had a hormonal moment. She's a very playful and loving girl, so i'm sure she'll be amazing.

Those first few weeks will be tough i bet but a lovely experience at that. (even though i'll probably have panda eyes from sleepless nights :) )

15 months between my DDs - first few months can be hard but my two are very close and play nicely together for ages (though they squabble a lot too). My tips to add to those above are to stick to your normal routine as much as possible so that your toddler doesn't have too much change all at once. Plus, my best purchase was a playpen - I used this to put DD2 in (under play gym or in rocky chair thing) so that I could leave the two of them together safely if I needed to leave the room briefly to go to the toilet/put washing on/make cup of tea/answer phone/scream loudly etc. DD1 was very enthusiastic about her new baby sister and didn't understand 'gentle'!

Congratulations by the way.

congrats!! don't feel you've let your dd down, its a really nice gap and hopefully will be lovely for them to grow up together.
i have 3 roughly 1.5 yrs apart each (17 & 19 months gaps) and agree about the advice of going out to playgroups etc to keep the older ones routine and it makes it easy for you cos you will get people hold the baby for you while you help older one, or watch older one while you feed baby etc. also i find my double buggy so useful, sometimes with this gap people go for a single but i would advise makes life so easy to get a good double cos you can just stick them in & go out very easily & quickly
while you are feeding the baby you can still chat or play with the older one so should be fine. i found with 1st one when you are trying to get used to bf it can be really hard, stuck on sofa for hours & no hands free or anything but next times you know what you're doing more so can multi task easier?
hopefully it will be easier than you expect, when i had my 2nd i found it did go better than expected cos you worry a lot about jealousy, how will you do things with 2 babies etc but it just works itself out really & you get your own routine with them
also if you can get them both to have midday nap together its a good chance for you to relax! i miss that now my oldest is 3 but when they are all under 2 it works well

I've a 15 month gap and would echo meeting at playgroups or parks with friends - especially helpful if your older one suddenly makes a break for fredom just as you've started feeding the small one.

My lunchtime routine would be to get into my bed with the boys and read a story and bf baby and all of us would go to sleep - bliss. Didn't manage it always as i have an older one as well but if you can ....

Didn't experience the jealousy so much with these 2 and the big boy is so caring of his baby bro and play really nicely together (most of the time)

Good luck and enjoy

Thank you all.

I will definitely be continuing the baby groups, DD is use to them now and loves them. So when this baby is born, she can have a little play with her friends (she's very sociable!) while i BF or something. We have a good routine generally. and that should be fine with new baby (obviously a bit of work to do in the early days but dp is a great help.)

I have some fab friends too, who i go to baby groups with so they'l be happy o lend a hand.

How did you do bed time? DD is still in our room in her cot at the mo, (just moved house too.) and i feel attatched to her, i think she would be ok, but she fidgets a lot and wakes herself up so i have to re-position her sometimes, and she still has a BF in the night.

Did you tandem feed?

i would probably move her to her own room before then (although could be fine if you keep both them in your room? i just have no experience of that so dunno) but dont forget you have ages before the baby is born, so no rush really.. at some time between now & then, it may feel right to move her over? when the age gap is close together the older ones grow up sooo much between bfp & dc2 being born