2 toddlers - effective tips to combat squabbling - before I lose my sanity!

[thedevilsinthedogstail]

We have 2 children 3.5 yrs and 2 yrs. Yesterday was a very bad day (worked out too late that they were both tired) lots of squabbling and noise (including me shouting and saying horrible things like " I am fed up of being with you and I hate your squabbling).

Husband has been away since sun morning and luckily back tonight - so some stresses this week but I know I need a better way to view their squabbling (normal) and deal with it so that I don't sound so fed up.

The older one just goes on and on - I don't get to spend any time on my own with her and I am sure that does not help but by the weekend I want to hand them over to my husband and be left alone!

Any strategies that have worked for you?

They are quite young for this, but do try not to get involved...one will always feel vindicated and the other hard done by, which just feeds a cycle of "It's not fair"

Let them sort themselves out.....and as I said I realise they are a little young for this so you may need to intervene but not to sort it out, just to change the subject.

I call it The Law of Universal Misery.....if they cannot get on nicely together then they can sit quietly being miserable, or come and help with the tidying/dusting/other horrid task.

It's worked for me and my three all rub along really nicely (18. 16 and 14)

Mine are now 5.5 and 4, but still I find myself driven demented by squabbling!

Will poach any tips with glee but parks are invaluable to me, the extra space to run means they are not cooped up and frustrated which seems to be the trigger for mine.

I find the housework tasks something they really enjoy eg one does hoovering and another wipes windows with a water spray and they swap after 10 minutes. The house isn't cleaner but I am definitely saner!

Point of housework there was that they are separated. Not that I believe in child labour.

Exercise, space and different activities.

And ear plugs!

I have two toddler boys so know exactly what you are talking about If my two are getting a bit 'too boisterous' I turn on some music and have an 'exercise class'. I run all that energy out of them and they love it. It usually sorts them out for an hour or two.

I feel your pain though. Toddlers are very hard work especially when dealing with them alone :)

I feel your pain too, i have a 3 yr old and 20 months and these days they fight and annoy each other soo much, drives me mad. i was hoping it would improve a bit once they get to 3.5 and 2, once the little ones speech picks up a bit more.. but maybe not
I find mine are okay if i am sat there playing with both of them, or one of them so the other one can play in peace, but the minute i turn my back to do housework or anything, one of them always starts stealing other ones toys, or they have this game where they both scream at each other for fun?! (really annoying..) difficult to separate them for housework and things cos they both start following me around together
so really i dont have any tips for you.. but do have sympathy though!
although mine are better when we go out, so i think that is my only tip actually

You need to get out of the house more. For at least an hour a day. Get some good wet weather gear in and go puddle jumping if it's raining.
I'm pretty sure there are no quick solutions to this but don't think you can leave kids of this age to it. My first two are 18 months apart but are much older (8 and 9.5) and squabble much more now than they did as toddlers. At that age, I did used to supervise them quite closely and intervene if I could see something brewing. We bought two of pretty much everything too.
I used to leave the TV off as much as possible too and only put it on when I needed some peace and quiet...