Approaching my sister on her parenting

[ebbed]

Just had my sister over for the weekend with her 2 boys (6 and 2) and it seemed clear to me that the 6yo is bearing the full brunt of his Mums tiredness, dips in confidence etc. He's the oldest of the children in our family and has always been happy, thoughtful and loving towards everyone and has adapted really well when new family members have arrived, particularly his little brother- he's never shown any jealousy towards him, just endless patience and this despite the fact that the 2yo is hugely entertaining. I just want to remind her that she's a good mother and the 6yo is a crerdit to her but given that she's prone to lapses in confidence I'm aprehensive. If you've approached or been approached about parenting I'd be grateful to hear of your experience.

Tell her what you've said there - that her 6yo is fab and is great with his little brother, he's a real credit to his mum and that both boys have been a real pleasure to have this weekend and you think that this is down to the fact that she's a fab mum.

I don't see how even the least confident person could see that there was anything other than praise there!

Everybody likes praise where it is due. Nothing wrong in saying to her exactly what you said in your op.
A friend of mine told me last week, that my eldest was a lovely girl and a real credit to me. It made me :)

Praise like that would be a huge boost to her confidence as long as it heart felt and true, and it sound like it is. Well done on being sensative enough to think it through first. I would be so proud if it was said to me.

not sure if I have understood? other posters think you are sayign you want to priase sis for how she has raised ds6, but I think you want to mention to her that he is lovely despite her snapping and unfair treatment of him due to her tiredness etc??

i would just tell her how lovey her eldest is, give her examples of when he is been especially patient. She will then understand that she may have been a bit unfair on him. But the real problem is that she is tired and may not be able to help herself. How old are your dcs? could you take one of hers for a few hours