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Parenting

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Original poster

Bloody teenagers and their sleeping/ eating!

28 replies

Imgoingtocounttofive · 20/08/2011 12:50

I know, I know, it's normal! But I need to rant. The step daughter, 13, sleeps in until about 11.30/ 11.45 at the weekend. Fine. But then she wakes up and eats breakfast... meaning that when I want to do lunch about an hour later, she's not hungry.
Then, come 3/4pm she's ravenous! Wanting lunch and/ or dinner which I'm not cooking until around 7pm. We will usually be out of the house at this point so this involves buying food out, or if we are in... a load of washing up and a messy kitchen again.

Then there's what she eats! We don't have crisps/ pies/ sweets/ biscuits etc in the house. I think they're pointless stomach fillers with no nutrients/ over priced/ over salted etc. She has pocket money and she's welcome to go to the shop whenever she likes to by said snacks if she wishes. I'm not going to try to force my beleifs or eating habits on her, but nor am I prepared to spend money on crap. But still, she complains and opens the cupboards longingly, whining on about why we don't have anything decent in the house.

She persuaded her dad to buy her some poptarts yesterday which are literally poison as far as I'm concerned. So now she wants them for breakfast/ lunch & dinner and turns her nose up at any other suggestion.

Okay, I'm done. I feel better

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usualsuspect · 20/08/2011 12:55

Teenagers take a lot of filling up

can't she make a sandwich or toast ?

7 is very late too eat if lunch is at 1 imo no wonder shes hungry

Catsmamma · 20/08/2011 12:58

old enough to feed herself!

and not eating evening meal is almost a crime here, so i veto any snacking before hand under the "too bad you missed lunch" rule

MrsRobertDuvall · 20/08/2011 13:01

As long as she has the means to make a sandwich she will not go hungry. Or cereal.
I certainly wouldn't buy special teenage snack food if she can't be arsed to get up at a reasonable time which fits in with the rest if your family [am lucky that my teens get up early ie before 8.....but then they go to bed at a reasonable time]

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Original poster

Imgoingtocounttofive · 20/08/2011 13:11

Thanks guys. She should be old enough to feed herself but is very dependant as her mum does everything for her so it's hard when she's here.
She could make a sandwich, or toast but I suppose the thing is that i want us all to eat together and when the day starts off wrong it carries right through until dinner time because if she's eaten at 3/4 she doesnt want dinner, and is then hungry at 9ish.. Surely she needs a decnet meal besides sandwichs and toast at some point in the day? Is 7pm late if lunch is at 1pm? There are ricecakes/ fruit/ yogurt & honey etc for mid afternoon.

I've tried the no snacks if you didn't eat your lunch thing but I find it hard to follow through when I know she's genuinely hungry. I do it with the little one because she's in 'training' and I know that short term pain equals long term gain but it feels cruel to enforce it on DSD when she's not used to it. I guess i'll just have to suck it up.

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Original poster

Imgoingtocounttofive · 20/08/2011 13:12

mrsrobertduvall you ae sooo lucky! She sleeps in whether she goes to bed at 9pm or 12!

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purplepidjin · 20/08/2011 13:14

Could you make lunch a bit earlier so that you still all eat together?

MrsRobertDuvall · 20/08/2011 13:16

Or drag her out of bed at 9am? A bucket of cold water?

usualsuspect · 20/08/2011 13:18

I don't have a problem with teenagers sleeping in tbh

Original poster

Imgoingtocounttofive · 20/08/2011 15:18

I don't have a problem with her sleeping in, if she got up at lunchtime or even dinner time (!) that would be fine but it's the inbetween meal time wakings that pee me off.
I guess I could do lunch for 11.30 so we could all eat together, although I have done that on a couple of occassions and she doesnt want to eat lunchy food when she's just woken up. Maybe I could give her cereal and we could all eat lunch.. then have a healthy snack mid afternoon and dinner together... i'll try it. Thanks

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SecretSquirrels · 20/08/2011 15:27

The key phrase here is the way you describe her as "the step daughter". I'm guessing your own children are very small, otherwise you would be much more flexible and tolerant of a 13 year old girl behaving exactly as teenagers all do.
Surely it wouldn't hurt to buy in some of the things she would like to eat, it doesn't mean they are compulsory for the rest of you? In return you could suggest she tries a little more to fit in with your meal times.
In our house ( 2 teenage boys), They can do as they like for breakfast/lunch unless we are going out, but they know that I will be cooking an evening meal at 7.30 and should fit in around that. DS1 never actually stops eating but will still eat his evening meal. DS2 tends to eat when I do.

Original poster

Imgoingtocounttofive · 20/08/2011 15:37

Ha! It's not a key phrase at all. I call everyone 'the' the mother, the boyfriend, the child, etc.

I know it ciomes across as inflexible but I refuse to spend money lining the pockets of the companies that make that crap. She has pocket money and the shop is a 3 minute walk so I figure if it's that important then she'll go herself.

My own daughter is small. I said at the beginning I know that it's normal teeage behaviour, I was ranting because it's pissing me off.

Thanks for the point of view though.

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alemci · 20/08/2011 15:38

my son makes a sandwich or toast if he is hungry. he has even made boiled eggs. We do have snacky stuff but I don't see why you should revolve your life around her lazing about.

I get really fed up with my teens especially YDD who is in bed til about 11 and they stay up late (granted it is the school holidays). I don't tend to make mine lunch either just dinner in the evening. They make their own food. I get cross if they leave a mess in the kitchen.

I suppose it is slightly different as well as she is your step dd and you want to get along with her.

KimberlyClark · 20/08/2011 15:41

my house my time zone i'm afraid

dcs have to be at least awake by 9 and eat breakfast more or less imminently

meals are served at regular meal times

bedtime/lights out still apply in hols, albeit more flexible BUT this deffo reduces hardcore lie-ins/anti-social hours

i am HARD, man

GetOrfMoiCarbsClaire · 20/08/2011 15:42

I agree with secret. Fair enough if you don't want to spend money on that crap, but if your step daughter has (perfectly reasonably) asked her father to buy her some pop tarts, I don't think you should complain about it. Perhaps she eats junk like that at home. Just because it is not your way of doing things doesn't mean you shouldn't be a bit more accomodating when she spends time with you.

Original poster

Imgoingtocounttofive · 20/08/2011 15:43

You sound fab kimberley, I intend to be this way with DD hopefully by the time she's a teenager she will have forgotten what DSD got away with (hopes)

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Original poster

Imgoingtocounttofive · 20/08/2011 15:46

I havent complained to her about the poptarts, I don't undermine him at all. She lives with us half of the time so it's not like she comes once every other weekend and I can just get in a couple of packets of crisps. Also, how would I explain to DD that she couldn't have junk food but her sister can?
She does have junk food at her mum's house, but does that mean her dad and I should lower our standards? On that logic, her mum should feed her the food we have here instead.

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Original poster

Imgoingtocounttofive · 20/08/2011 15:47

"perfectly reasonably"??!! Have you seen what is in poptarts? I wouldn't feed it to a scabby dog

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SchrodingersMew · 20/08/2011 15:52

I stay with my ILs occasionally and they have completely different taste in eating from me.

It drives me nuts! There is nothing worse than eating food you really don't like.

Funnily enough it's me who likes the slightly healthier foods and they are really big meat eaters when I can barely stand to touch meat.

Maybe if you were a little leaner on what you feed her, just while she's there it might make things a bit easier?

I don't mean going all out and buying all manner of crappy foods but just being a little bit better with compromising?

Poptarts however, are disgusting.

swingingcat · 20/08/2011 15:54

My DC 17, 15 & 14 arrive downstairs about 12ish! I don't nag about them sleeping in as when they are in school its an early start.

I provide 1 meal a day at dinner, normally about 6.30 if they want anything else thats down to them to make it!

GetOrfMoiCarbsClaire · 20/08/2011 16:00

I must admit I didn't actually know they still made poptarts - I haven't seen those monstrosities since I was at school.

alemci · 20/08/2011 16:01

could you make some homemade stuff for her cakes or biscuits etc

KimberlyClark · 20/08/2011 16:46

i am fab, thank you, sadly not everybody other than you and i recognise this OP

also re snacking - outside of mealtimes - fruit or nothing - i have a budget and a mealplan - when dcs are in charge of those then they will be at liberty to snack on whatever, whenever

i am actually mrs micawber and really i live in a dickensian workhouse

KimberlyClark · 20/08/2011 16:50

everyone always says oh gosh poptarts are so rare but i see them in every flipping supermarket i go in!

OddBoots · 20/08/2011 16:52

My 12 year old has just started sleeping in, if he gets up with less than an hour or two to go for lunch he is offered fruit or a yoghurt to eat which tides him over to lunch without filling him up. Is this an option?

Original poster

Imgoingtocounttofive · 20/08/2011 17:02

I have bought in entirel seperate meals for her for the week as dp and us are practically vegan and I wouldn't expect her to eat our meals. She has chicken kievs/ chips/ fish fingers/ pizza. It's all top quality not junk but still 'junk-like' as far as she is concerned. It's the snack junk I won't buy.

getorf I know, right! They're even wprse now as when we were kids it was just strawberry or choc, it's no neon pink with sprinkles etc.. yuk!
oddboots that is an idea, but she will still stare longingly in to the cupboards craving something crappy. I think swingingcat has a good idea, but do you find it costly? I meal plan and I find that if she's left to her own devices she'll eat things that were bought to go with other things and I'd be food shopping all the time.

kimberley loving the dickensian workhouse ethic... may mention sit DSD down to watch Oliver Twist later and see if she starts to appreciate what she has ha ha

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