how can i reduce my almost 2 years olds dummy use?

[willowstar]

My little girl was a very sucky refluxy baby and I gave her a dummy at a month old...she will be 2 in 6 weeks and I am a bit worried about her dependancy on it. while we are at home she seems to ask for it ALL THE TIME...and gets genuinely distressed when I don't give it to her. when we are out she pretty much accepts that it stays in the car but still asks for it a lot. it is her only comfort, she has never bonded with any particular toy which I had hoped that she would. I hate the thing and have a real problem with her having it, but I am not sure if it is just my problem and I should try to relax about it, or if i should try to curtail it as I am doing, but in doing so really really really upsetting her.

I have done attachment parenting pretty much, baby led weaning, so believe a lot in child led sort of things, it is just the dummy I have a real problem with.

her speach is excellent, well ahead of a lot of her little friends so I have no worries there.

any advice?

With ds who is 2 in november I told him that the dummy stays in his bedroom, took it off him when he wakes up and let him see me put it on the side.

He asked for it a few times in the first few days but soon forgot about it and now happily accepts it's for bedtime, when he wakes up he gives it to me saying "my dummy"

I think if you decide that reducing the use is needed then it's vital she doesn't see dummies other than at the allowed times. If they see it they want it!

thanks Sirzy, I have tried placing limits on it but when I explain it to her she goes into absolute melt down and ends up coughing from crying so much. it just doesn't feel right. what is really irritating though is that she hardly has it at all on the two days she spends at her child minder's house but then I guess there is a lot more to distract her there.

maybe I will try again tomorrow, it is just always such a battle and I am not sure it is the right thing.

I'm not sure the distress would be worth it for me. I'd insist she takes it out of her mouth to speak, but otherwise does it really matter that much? Maybe when she's a bit older you can agree with her to give it up on her 3rd birthday, or swap it for a toy.

We went out a chose some special bedtime dummies. DS picked the ones he liked best.
DS helped me throw his old 'daytime' dummies in the bin.
Dummies are now for bedtime - DS has accepted this brilliantly.

Good luck.

thanks Rita, that is what I wanted to hear! Piprabbit, how old was your little boy when you did that?

He was about 2.5yo.
So a bit older than your LO, but he was very attached to his dummies. .

Since The Big Day, DS has never asked for a dummy during the day with the exception of when he was ill and tired. As he was going to bed anyway, I let him have a dummy and claimed that as he was in bed it was OK.

I can remember giving up my dummy, so I must have been over 3. I have suffered no ill effects

Hi, I'm sure i 've heard that 3 is the best age to take the dummy away as they are old enough then to do the 'dummy fairy' thing. You explain the dummy fairy needs the dummies for the little babies and that she will come and collect them and leave a very special chosen toy in their place. Have read on here that it works brilliantly so that's my plan for DD (21 months) who is almost permanently attached to her dummy and refuses to leave it in the cot in the day.