Controlled crying DOES work! For me anyway!

[CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell]

Been having a problem with ds waking up at 4 and 5am and screaming and yelling until we bring him into our bed whereupon he settles immediately. However we are not entirely happy with this arrangement and have been trying to get him to stay in his own bed. Yet I've been too soft to leave him to cry.

He came back from creché after lunch and they said he hadn't had his afternoon nap, so I brought him home, played with him for a bit, read his books and then took him to bed. He has screamed and thrown a tantrum up there for half an hour. I went up just 10 mins ago to lie him back down and reassure him, but I did not get him up. Now he has finally gone quiet and probably to sleep! This is encouraging because when he wakes up at 4am tomorrow morning I know that he will go back to sleep again if I leave him, which is exactly what I intend to do!

Well SirCliff, I remember the ice on my windows when I was a little girl. It didn't hurt me and we did not have central heating.

A friend of mine came to stay with me once who has moved to Aberdeen. I live in Essex. She was so grateful that at the time I didn't have central heating like her mum who had it on all of the time.

It was the first time she slept properly.

It doesn't matter if your little ones hands are freezing, my ds's hands & ears are freezing when I go in to check.

IT REALLY is a healthier sleep if there is no heating, apart from if you were camping outside. Your 2 will suffer less colds than the rest of us.

God I have just re read my last post and I sound like a smug bitch.

I put all in one fleeces on DS and a vest and our house does get cold because I insist on the heating off after about 8pm.

It's not because I am tight, I think it's healthier

And I have totally got off the point. But I agree with you leaving him as you will get more sleep and be a better mummy tomorrow which is my motto.

I agree, it probably is healthier. But as a mum, if you knew your ds was standing up in his cot screaming and shouting your name, his blankets are not on him and his room is freezing, don't tell me that you wouldn't be worried and want to snuggle him in your bed?!

I know I am soft on him. We never had this problem with dd, she was so good! I just have this problem with my head and my heart!

I know what you mean though! In your position I'd be saying the same, it's just so much harder when you are going through it yourself!

Yes I would and when DS was still in cot, of course I would get up and go. But now he has his toddler bed and no gates I am a bit more strict. As I say this, DS is sleeping on the sofa in living room as he was sick in Sainsburys today (never done it before) and I can't bear the thought of putting him upstairs until I go. In case he is really sick.

Hey don't worry about your head. Your heart is what counts with your children. I am not a perfect mummy, at times I am a crap mum. I know it as well. But I love my son and thats what counts more than anything.

CC is great!

The 2 ds's (3.8 and 1) shared a room and ds2 was a pain as he would wake for milk in the night and wake up at 6.30am waking ds1 up in the process. So the day began at 6.30am.

since moving ds2 into the playroom we no longer hear him in the night when he wakes for milk and he sleeps til 8.30 in the morning!! How weird. This morning ds1 got up at 8am and I had to wake ds2 at 8.30am to go for his MMR jab.

life is getting better.

Well, we had the worst night ever last night. He started at 12.45am, I was going to bed so I went in, lay him back down, tucked him up and left. After about 10 minutes crying I did the same, after a further 5 minutes he stopped and we thought we'd cracked it!

5am he wakes and starts to cry. We leave him for 10mins and then go in to lie him back down and tuck him in. We do this for about 30 minutes, then there is 5 mins silence where we are both just dosing off when he starts again. He also throws out his 'comforter' his teddy, he will not sleep without his ted. This goes on until about 6.30am when I go in for the last time, I turn on the heater and then instruct dh not to go to him at all. He settled at 7.30am.

Bloody awful!

This afternoon we have put him down for his nap, he has cried for 30mins, settled for 15minutes and started crying again, we're going to get him up soon, he only gets one hour, whether he has slept or not. But he shows no sign of stopping.

We are supposed to be going to a neighbour's tonight for a birthday party. They live in the house opposite so I was going to put ds to bed and take the baby alarm with me. But now I'm wondering if I should stay and get an early night in preparation for another night of hell?

We are both knackered!

Please someone tell me tonight will be better!

CRSEIH, do you think he might be coming down with something? Are there any signs?

FWIW I grew up in a very very cold house in Scotland. The coldest part. My father was weird about central heating, but only because he doesn't feel the cold. I regularly had ice on the windows and regularly lay awake at night shivering. This was not fun, not healthy and years later I still resent that he wouldn't heat the house properly for us.

I just mention it because I feel the cold so very badly - though I hate stuffiness - and think you are quite right not to have your son freezing in the middle of the night.

PS CC worked for us and good luck tonight.

Thanks Pruni! No I don't think he is coming down with anything. He has been waking up at this time for over a week now, and foolish that I am, I have been bringing him into our bed so that we can all go to sleep again. But now it is a habit.

I try to keep him as warm as I can. He has fleecy pj's, a grobag on top of that and 5 blankets on top of that! He also has a woolly blanket on top of his mattress. But when he wakes up, he wrigges out of his blankets and manages to pull himself up whilst still in his sleeping bag.

It is very cold in their room but so far we haven't quite got to the stage of ice on the windows just yet. I did feel a lot better about leaving him though once we had put the heating on. I think I'll do the same tonight, leave him for 10 mins, then go in to reassure him and leave him for at least 30mins before going in again. I think last night he knew we were coming in regularly and was waiting for that.

He's only had a 20min nap today - he cried through most of his midday nap, so he is very tired. But he is not ill. Perhaps going through the change from child to demon?

Sorry last night didn't go so well Fingers crossed again.

We have always had the opposite problems in our home - always hot. In the summer it was way too hot, and a fan and open windows didn't cool it down.

You have to do what works best for you.

Thanks. It's so easy to know what to do in the cold light of day, but at 4am you'll do practically anything to get them to stop crying! Just hope that he doesn't cry as long tonight, he's certainly stubborn! Wonder where he gets that from?

Good luck with tonight. I know how it feels when you don't get enough sleep. It ruins your whole day cos' you are feeling rubbish.

Just a thought, but can you leave him crying longer than 10 mins.

Will do tonight, will leave him for 20 mins.

I am going to be really honest and say that I left DS crying until he went back to sleep. It didn't ever take longer than 25 mins and he stopped doing it really quickly. Probably be hung drawn & quartered now!!

Last night we did this eventually, after an hour and a half of going in to him every 10 mins. It took him around 30 mins to get to sleep.

He's in bed now, went straight to sleep, very tired though!

Half an hour of going in to him every ten mins is not bad.

Tonight should be better. We had the odd relapse, just like you, but it was usually sorted in one night.

Good luck!

HE SLEPT THROUGH! We are so relieved! It might be a bit premature to be celebrating just yet, if he does the same again tonight then we're home and dry! But not a peep out of him all night!

Phew! You gotta go through the pain barrier but it's just so worth it!

Brilliant! So that was...two nights? Or was it three? SO worth it IMO.

Brilliant news!

That's brilliant, rhubs.