Sleeping - Need help desperately!

[VickyandAlistair]

Hello,

My name is Vicky and my DS Alistair is 10 months on the 11th Aug. We're new to these forums, and I came here hoping that someone will be able to offer some good advice re: DS sleeping issues!

DS has never slept well. I can count on 1 hand the number of times he's slept through the night without waking. He wakes on average of 3 to 4 times a night, sometimes just to have his dummy put in, sometimes he can be awake for a few hours. He is teething a bit, which I know can be part of the problem, but he has always been like this! We've tried everything you can think of: goodnight milk, a warm bath before bed, a lullaby machine, making him warmer, making him cooler, nothing works. I always make sure that I check him for teething pain before bed, if he seems uncomfortable I give him some teething powder, or Anbesol, or Calpol. It doesnt make any difference, and whats weird is that when I put him to bed, sometimes he is so tired he is nodding off on my shoulder, but half hr later he is awake and screaming.

We've tried the dreaded CC, but 2 hrs later he was still screaming, really hysterical, drenched in sweat, I couldnt bear it and it wasnt working. I went in every 5 mins, then every 10, 15 etc but to no avail.

Here is his avg daily routine: wake at 7am, nap 10-11pm, nap 1-1.45pm, bed at 7.. and then it starts.

He eats very well, he eats plenty during the day and he is a very happy little boy. Both me and DH work full time, I cram 35 hrs into 4 days to make sure I get 3 days with DS but on the days I work he barely sees me which makes me feel very guilty, could that be why he sleeps so badly?

Please help, we're moving in with family soon to save money, and I dont want him keeping the house up at night.

Thanks :)

how does he sleep during the day ? I found with mine that if they were overtired then they slept less well at night.

Don't feel guilty - you workig part time has nothing to do with it.

just realised you gave his nap times. They seem a bit short for that age and I would bet he is overtired - especially as you say he is falling asleep on your shoulder. Maybe try an earlier bedtime for a bit ?

Sometimes he sleeps a bit longer in the day, like 10 till 11.30 and 1 -2 but because he goes to all different family members while I am at work, he sleeps in different places. He is quite good at being put down for naps, he doesnt create nearly as much as he does when being put down for the night.

Can you not push his second nap back a bit? Maybe 2-3 then bed at 7 as usual? It sounds like he could be overtired.

Can you not push his second nap back a bit? Maybe 2-3 then bed at 7 as usual? It sounds like he could be overtired.

Hi

Lots of sympathy, it's awful being exhausted. I have an Alasdair too (13months) though a different sp and he was a little tinker for sleep!

I bought this book out of desperation and it has a great deal of sense in it. Best of all it gives you access to their sleep forum with advisors to give you help and support each day. You can also pay for an invididual consultation but you get great advice for free.

Maybe it was that, maybe not, but he sleeps through and has done since 8 months, aside from when he's teething when he may wake once.

It does sound like your DS can't self-settle and I'm afriad it may take some tears to sort that out, I know it did with mine.

There's the usual, no milk overnight just water, no talking, no fuss, lights dim but I'm sure you'll have already done all that. As a mum who had no more than 3 hours sleep in a row for 6 months + I know well-meaning advice can be hard to hear and there are some babies that just struggle no matter what you do.

Very best of luck and hang on in there!

MagnumIceCreamAddict, thanks very much for your advice. I think you are right about the self settling thing, when he wakes at night instead of just lying there until he goes back to sleep, he just screams. I'll have a look into that book :)

Umm. He sounds completely normal for a 10 month old. Lots of children don't sleep through until they're three - certainly my DD wasn't sleeping through at that age.

My 11 month old does not sleep through sadly - I found the best thing for my own sanity was acceptance. Once I got past trying to "solve" the sleep problems and realised she was going to be one of those little ones who needs a lot of parental input in the night, somehow it seemed a lot easier. I am still bloody knackered of course, but at least I am not spending hours worrying about her sleep any more. My MIL tells me that my BIL did not sleep through until he was 4!

I agree with jointhedots. Once I accepted that I couldn't solve the sleep problems & stopped trying things here and there, he calmed down. We turned a corner at 15mths and 3 months on he is far better. He will still wake sometimes, especially if teething, but no where near as much. And I had months of the dreaded dummy run, sometimes 7/8 times a night. It was awful and I sympathise with you. Coming on here helps! Being over tired definitely made him worse. Quick play in the garden after tea seemed to help- fresh air?
I also stopped thinking that not sleeping through = me failing and accepted that some babies just take longer to learn how to self settle.
As a wise MNetter once said, "this too shall pass."
Good luck.