When do they learn to walk with you (rather than oppo direction)

[Lilysmum]

This isn't a big problem or anything (although blinking frustrating!) I am just curious as to when things might change.

My 14 month old has been walking for about 10 weeks. If I take her for a walk, she hates the buggy and insists on getting out. That would be fine, but she refuses to walk in the same direction as me. I've tried reigns to give her a kind of directional guide, but if she doesn't want to walk in my direction she simply sits down and won't budge.

Yesterday it took us 45 minutes to do a short stretch which should have taken 5 minutes. I was obliged to pick her up and carry her for a few yards, whereupon she would wiggle and kick to be put down, I'd put her down and she would then meander off in the opposite direction. I would let her go off and explore for a few minutes (I'm quite patient really), and then pick her up and carry her for another few yards and then the cycle would repeat itself.

I've seen toddlers a few months older than her happily trotting along with their parents.... Is this a phase, and will she be even slightly cooperative in the future?

(or do I just have a headstrong little madam)

Do you use reins? Might help with the wandering off, not with the sitting down though

If she keeps wandering the wrong way why not put her back in the pushchair until she will walk the right way with you? It might help her get the message that she can only walk like she wants to if she walks with you 'properly'.

agree with CnR this is what I did with my ds and he soon got the message. He walks lovely with me now but he is 2 next week!!

Lilysmum - my dd (21 mths) is the same. I can't take her out of the buggy in a shopping centre or on the road as she will just go whatever direction takes her fancy - and QUICKLY ! Reins won't work as she get stroppy and hurls herself to the floor when she sees them coming ! Basically I don't let her out of the buggy to walk unless I have all the time in the world. Mostly we go especially to the park etc for her to run around. If I do let her out of the buggy to walk I always end up carrying a wriggling screaming toddler and end up getting her back in the buggy by producing a tub of grapes

Hi Lilysmum, I know exactly what you mean! My ds is now 18 months and is only just starting to get better at this. He does lag behind and will casually try to meander in another direction, but when I call his name he comes trotting after me. It still takes FOREVER to walk 10 yards though, stopping to look at dog pooh, fag ends etc!

Lilysmum, your post could have been mine about this time last year - DD started walking in Oct and I remember trying to go anywhere with her in the buggy was hell by xmas. Its really hard work carrying a wriggly potatoe sack down the high street trying to avoid all of the breakables/innocent memmbers of public isn't it? And those stares from smuggamums who have forgotten - I kept thinking I'd be arrested for child abduction!

At some point in the last six months it has got much much better - she is often one of those cute little toddlers trotting behind parents () but still sometimes a monkey - runnning very quickly in the opposite direction. However, our daily walks are more of a pleasure than a pain now, so it will get better. Did the same as the others re the reins/pushchair - let her off them if she was good, any messsing around and they went straight back on/in buggy. Had to do this as she spends two days/week at GP... but strangely does not misbehave for them... hmmm.

Now the battles are over who pushes the pushchair, and after ramming several old ladies in the foor I just leave it at home.

I have read that primates always carry their offspring until they are the equivalent of 2ish in human terms. The let them walk about while they (the monkey mums) sit, then as soon as they move off, the pick the babies up (because they don't have buggies, presumably!). The inference was that human babies are much the same and aren't really capable of walking with you until then. Mind you my ds is two and will still take 45 mins to cover the same distance I cover in ten - lots of detours down garden paths, staring at manhole covers, picking up conkers etc etc etc. Aaargh!

Penelope Leach has a really interesting section on this. Apparantly they are actually instinctively programmed not to follow you. Sounds odd, but I think the logic is that if there was a reason for serious flight, it is important that toddlers and young children get picked up and carried with the clan, so they just sit and stay put til someone rescues them. If you sit or stand still, they will roam within a wide circumference, checking your position, but if you start to move off, they will just sit down.
There are still societies where people don not produce more small children than can be carried by all the adults in the village if they needed to flee.

Thats intersting Blu - and makes sense I guess. I'll try to be more patient with DD! Will also try to get other members of the community/clan to carry her