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Parenting

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Original poster

What is it like going from 2DC to 3DC?

20 replies

Hope88 · 17/06/2011 14:49

Hi, Thinking about having 3DC and was wondering what it's actually like. Is it a big difference? I would have quite big age gaps (6 and 3-4) between them so am not talking about having 3 under 4. What is the relationship among them like? Can all 3DC have nice relationship among each other or do 2DC usually become closer and 1DC is left on his/her own???? Can you spend enough quality time with each of them? Thank you

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madwomanintheattic · 17/06/2011 14:56

it was a bit traumatic here because dc3 suffered birth hypoxia and spent 5 weeks in scbu, leaving with a physical disability.

that said, mine are closer together. any two are fine, add in a third and they bicker (usually). play dates with one get hijacked by at least one other. life is busy, but chugs along.

they love/ hate each other alternately. just regular siblings really. the real issue was the huge amount of extra care that an sn sibling needs, which takes even more time the regular 'new baby' stuff, so can't really comment on the first couple of years as ours wasn't typical.

quality time? with each of them?

um, no. not really. not until they all go to different after school activities. until then you're pretty much stumped for 1-1 time.

Original poster

Hope88 · 18/06/2011 22:04

Thank you for you answer. :)

OP posts:

LaughingGiraffe · 19/06/2011 12:27

Hi,
I found 2 - 3 hard. Not enough hands! However things settled down and now numbers 1 and 3 are really close, despite an 8 year age gap. It settled down to the extent that I went on to have number 4.

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iMemoo · 19/06/2011 12:31

I have found the jump from 2 to 3 really difficult tbh. There just isn't enough of me to go round.

iMemoo · 19/06/2011 12:31

Giraffe, you are just crazy!

coproxamol · 19/06/2011 12:47

2 to 3....absolutely horrendous!

That's about it really.

cece · 19/06/2011 12:54

It was easy for me but my older two are at school so during the day going back to having one was easy!

At time of birth of DC3 my other two were 8 and 5 and half.

mathanxiety · 19/06/2011 23:19

Depends on the baby I think, and on your relationship with your DP too.

My DC3 was a fabulous baby, DC2 was an easygoing little chappie of 2, and all was well. Going from 1 to 2 was much harder (3 year age difference), I think partly because I was trying to do everything 'right', and partly because DD1 was used to a lot of undivided attention from me.

Going from three to four was much harder, partly because of DC4 being a high maintenance baby, but also because I had relationship things going on that made it difficult. A rough time with a DP can make everything seem uphill. By the time DC5 came along I had the mindset, and in reality most of the life challenges of a single mum and could deal with it better as I had got used to it.

bidibidi · 20/06/2011 13:34

From Busy to Hectic.
3 to 4 is going from Hectic to Insane .

Original poster

Hope88 · 25/06/2011 08:03

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slightlycrumpled · 25/06/2011 08:13

I've found it quite easy actually, but then my other two are at school so was a little like first baby again where you can sleep a bit in the day. Saying that from 3.30pm onwards it is chaos!

The older two do play with him and help etc. I'm very aware though that he will be the odd one as there is an age gap. Not that that would persuade me to have a fourth!

Chicksy · 25/06/2011 08:16

I have 3DC. Almost 6 and 4 and now a 5 month old baby.
For me the age of my older two DC has helped as they can do so much for themselves now, they are out at school and are so close they play well together. Life is definitely busier but it is manageable. I found the first two being closer in age more stressful when they were smaller than having 3 now. DD may well get left out as she gets bigger but too early to say.

MrsCurly · 25/06/2011 08:54

What Chicksy said. My third baby was a dream. Other two were older (4 & 6 when she was born). Now 18 months on they are at school and it has been like having a first born all over again but without the anxiety and stress. Family life is noisy but I didn't want it quiet.

Original poster

Hope88 · 28/06/2011 20:18

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OP posts:

cupofteaplease · 28/06/2011 20:22

I'll tell you in 3.5 months when we go from 2 to 3. I was feeling quite calm about it until I read this thread!!

EyeoftheStorm · 28/06/2011 20:27

I have exactly the same as MrsCurly. Despite traumatic start (prem + complications) DS2 is the easiest of the 3. Older two dote on him and he (2 now) is so desperate to do what they are doing that he will never be left out.

I feel like we're all here now. Wouldn't want one more or one less.

frantic51 · 28/06/2011 20:32

I found going from 2 to 3 much easier than going from 1 to 2 but that was probably because DD1 was so terribly jealous when DS arrived but by the time DD2 came along, she was used to sharing me.

Mine are all very close together though (I did have 3 under 4 ) and it does help that I have a "sandwich" the two girls have the bond of simply being girls and, particularly now they are older, are firm friends. DS has his special place in the family because he is the only boy (middle children can often feel overlooked apparently) Things have shifted over the years and DS has been slightly closer to one or other DD depending on age/situation. Was very close to DD2 when they were small then formed a stronger bond with DD1 when they were both at "big school" while DD2 was still at nursery, then left in primary school with DD2 when DD1 moved up to secondary then shifted again when he joined DD1 and so on and so forth.

BobMarley · 29/06/2011 14:32

I definitely found it hard. It is not so much having three children but more that I'm not so good with babies and find it hard to go back to that. My 3rd is now 1 and it is starting to get a bit easier but I'm still often not enjoying it very much and just getting through the days until it will get easier. Someone on MN said 'any amount of children is only as hard as the youngest is', which sums it up for me.

MymbleMumble · 01/07/2011 16:09

I've definitely found 2-3 easier than 1-2. My 2 are 6 and 4 and the baby is 6 months. The older two are much less demanding and I have time with the baby. I'm not counting my chickens though. When baby is into all their toys life might be harder asgain!

Dancergirl · 01/07/2011 22:06

Much, much easier than going from 1-2!

I have 3 dds - small gap between 1 and 2 (21 months) and then 4 years between 2 and 3. The one downside is that dds 1 and 2 are really close and dd3 is a bit on her own. Only at the moment though, the dynamics change over time.

It is hard work but lovely. I really think now it's not the number of children that makes the work, it's the AGE OF THE YOUNGEST! Because dd3 is only 4 and obviously much less independent than the other 2, I find that much harder. And it's only recently that we could leave the house without a buggy/potty/bits and pieces.

1-to-1 time with each of them can be hard but it's really about grabbing the opportunity when you can. I try and have Mummy time with each of my two older ones (little one get loads of time with me when they're at school). Often this means cuddles in bed with each of them and we chat. They know it's their time and I don't answer the phone if it rings. I think it's really important to have time with each child.

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