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Original poster

Failed our steiner toddler group

409 replies

Orangeflower7 · 14/06/2011 20:58

I was looking for a smaller more relaxed kind of toddler group for my ds (2.5). Got a bit fed up with the big busy groups lots of ride ons etc..so tried the steiner group. Just met one of the mums from it today who is 'sad it didn't work out for me' and am feeling a bit of a failure.

I'll explain a bit. It went on for ages and we all had to sit round the table and make a woolen spider which to be honest the children were to young to do- ds got frustrated and threw it away. It seemed that it was for the mums really, (craft) I found it stressful as I had to help make the activity so much whereas ds wanted to go play, and there was no choice of activity, all the mums were sat doing the craft activity so the children who were playing didn't have much input really.

The routine was like this (over 2 hrs) Craft-then (adults make snack which children couldn't eat just yet) -singing-then wash hands (line up) then-sit up and eat snack- then story.

I just found it too much direction and sitting down stuff for a 2 year old..although the (mostly little girls) other children seemed very obedient

It is a shame as it would have been a nice change...didn't find it very child centred though. Please tell me it's not just my ds is it, I do know a little about early years and the emphasis is a lot on play, (adult led and child initiated, choice and independence, how does that sit then with steiner?

So back to the big groups we go.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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BitOfFun · 14/06/2011 21:05

You do know what happens on MN when you mention Steiner, don't you?

wompoopigeon · 14/06/2011 21:06

Sounds like you had a lucky escape.

Gastonladybird · 14/06/2011 21:07

No what happens (all innocence )

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thestringcheeseincident · 14/06/2011 21:08

Run for the hills and get thee to a church playgroup. Any buddies you can go with?

CatIsSleepy · 14/06/2011 21:09

why do you feel like you failed? sounds like a great big no-fun pile of cack to me

5inthebed · 14/06/2011 21:10

nailak · 14/06/2011 21:11

my dd would never been able to do all that, she does however, thrive at normal toddler group and looks in her element!!

thisisyesterday · 14/06/2011 21:12

why do you feel you failed??

you went, you didn't like it, you'll go elsewhere.... that's life innit?!

NormanTebbit · 14/06/2011 21:12

A friend kind of lost it when she had to hive thanks to the Earth goddess before snack time. She also had to make crafts which were then sold to raise money.

You had a lucky escape

RitaMorgan · 14/06/2011 21:13

It's not the Steiner playgroup in Bristol is it? Or maybe all of them have exactly the same structure

Meglet · 14/06/2011 21:14

I agree with catissleepy.

The thought of trying to get a 2.5yo to sit down for anything (except food) is hilariously futile.

Original poster

Orangeflower7 · 14/06/2011 21:15

Ok so it sounds a bit pathetic but I actually left the group in tears as I was so upset at how wound up my little boy got. He hurled the spider (which I guess I was attending to more than him) then tried to grab a wooden pushalong off another child (there was just the one none to share which for toddlers...argh) and it was really embarrassing. And after sorting that one out (he's usually a gentle child) yes with everyone at the table looking on (or so it felt) the snack part took ages and it was about 11.30..however he wasn't allowed to have some yet as we hadn't dome the singing part. At this point we left and went via the shop to the park where he ran around gleefully.

The mums today from the group who I bumped into were raving about it, about how nice it is to do something for themselves not just for the children. And how their children loved it too. They had made some dolls from wool to the same identical method. none could have been made by a toddler. Yet I suppose it is nice to make something for the child. Hmm.

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Original poster

Orangeflower7 · 14/06/2011 21:16

Rita- very close

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tiredlady · 14/06/2011 21:16

I had EXACTLY the same experience when I tried a Steiner playgroup. My lively 2 yo ds couldn't/wouldn't sit still. He wanted to rush about exploring things/tipping things out of boxes/moving from one activity to the next - normal busy boy stuff I thought, and totally acceptable behaviour at the usual big play group we went to.
However the other Steiner mums looked at me as if I was neglectful and as if my some had some kind of disorder. All the other kids were robotically quiet and compliant, and tbh the whole place freaked me out.

CoteDAzur · 14/06/2011 21:18

This is very strange. Why would you want to go back?

Original poster

Orangeflower7 · 14/06/2011 21:18

I'm fine now just needed a little perspective! The mums today made me feel like I / ds had a problem

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pfbornot · 14/06/2011 21:18

Girls and boys are generally quite different, even as young children. Girls are usually more willing to sit down and do craft and to do as they are told. Boys are more likely to run around and want to play with wheeled items. My 2 certainly are typical. My DS is the eldest and I worried myself stupid thinking that I had messed him up because he wouldn't sit still and do stuff like some of the little girls. Just don't worry and don't go back to that toddler group. In fact, toddler groups are not compulory if you don't want to go. He will be 3 soon and eligible for his free nursery sessions - my DS thrived much better at these.

BelovedCunt · 14/06/2011 21:21

playgroups are not compulsory. steiner is for adults who wish they had grown up in some sort of fucked up identikit william morris artsy craftsy hippy commune but who actually grew up in a nice suburb watching itv and now are living vicariously through their unfortunate children.

Original poster

Orangeflower7 · 14/06/2011 21:23

Ah tiredlady I am glad..well not glad for you but just understanding. I am not sure why i thought about going back. had an idea that he might have got a bit older and therefor be able to do it more. I guess. Maybe, I felt a bit jealous of those calm - seeming mums with their obedient children. Thought ds might join in! Ha. He's just very active at the moment. Yes I know plenty of groups with nice people there. Just wanted a change really. I guess it's just that, wanting a break from the ride ons and hecticness. Maybe I need to embrace hecticness and steer away from these types!

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fearnelinen · 14/06/2011 21:24

Sounds like a cult.

I think SisIL is into all this.

The other day she was banging on telling me all about how her and DS have been collecting twigs because they are making it into some artwork for his new room to help him settle in.

He is 9 months old

RitaMorgan · 14/06/2011 21:24

The craft isn't really for the children - children are supposed to learn by observing the adults doing the craft activity or something.

It's not going to suit everyone, you haven't failed because your toddler wants to run around!

Anyway, Steiner is nuts.

catinthehat2 · 14/06/2011 21:25

14/6/2026

Dear Mum -

quick note to say, thanks for never taking me to that surreally nightmarish nursery thing after the first time.

I could never have been happy there, because basically I am a normal gentle kind of human being with lots of my own independent thoughts in my head. I had a wonderful childhood just knocking around doing the usual boy stuff, and stuff with you at home and with other normal children and their mums.

You did the right thing walking out, my life could have taken a wrong turning there & then. Good call.

OrangeBoy

ceebeegeebies · 14/06/2011 21:26

Sounds particularly weird if you ask me

Yes, if you have an 'active' DS then you definitely need to embrace the hecticness and get used to it as life will be constantly hectic from now on (speaking from experience of a particularly active DS1 who is now nearly 5 and still never sits still )

CoteDAzur · 14/06/2011 21:27

Steiner is a cult.

Shortly after I applied to our local Steiner school for DD, I read that they are in the French government's list of cults, right next to Scientology. I went and withdrew her application that day.

Original poster

Orangeflower7 · 14/06/2011 21:27

pf that is making me think, perhaps those girls could benefit from more choice/ running about stuff, wouldn't it make if hard for them if they did go on to preschool/reception if all they had done is adult-led craft? And it's not creative. What about learning to think for yourself? How flummoxed would a little child be then given free rein to create? Hmm.

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