Parenting crisis - we need help-where to get it?

[jambomum]

I need your help, as I'm not sure what sort of help I need to look for.
My DH thinks that he is master of our kids and that they must obey him. DS is 6yo and is scared of DH (DH denies this). THis reflects the way he was brought up. I on the other hand am totally committed to my kids (altho I work full time). I'm not a push over, but I try to be more democratic where I can, but find DS tears and lack of listening trully frustrating and then I shout !
We know we need help, but who do we turn to.
We live in London

Your husband knows that he needs parenting help? Because if he truly believes the master thing, I'd think he'd also brook no dissent, if you see what I mean.

What has precipitated the request for help? Have you had a crisis, or is it a general feeling that the vibe in the house isn't very good?

DS cried last night and said that DH doesn't care about him and just reads the Sunday papers on a Sunday morning when they get up (my turn for a lie in). DH comes from a split family, whereas mine are very close and supportive. So we are coming from very different parenting experiences.
I suppose I've been trying to act as peacemaker for the last 6 years, but now I can't.
I need to open DH eyes to the fact that DS is still very young and vulnerable and cannot be treated like a teenager. I can't do it - it needs to be someone neutral - who can I turn to.

Ah, you've got two threads running at the same time, now I understand (having read the other one).

Ok, has he agreed that there's an issue that needs addressing, or not? You can't just bring in a Parenting Expert to tell him that he is wrong and you are right. It sounds like this is damaging your marriage, I wonder if Relate or similar would help? But only if he agrees, I'm afraid.

He has agreed to parenting help. I don;t think it is damaging our relationship YET, but I am scared that it might.
I don;t want to take it to a our relationship level, I'd like to keep it on a 'we need to be taught how to parent better'.
But don't know where to go.
THanks for listening.

Some churches run parenting courses either free or very cheaply e.g this one. I haven't done the course but I have read the book and it's very good, also good to take some time out to discuss things with your DH without it being an argument.