Am I asking to much???

[Trina82]

My DD1 aged nearly 6 has completely wrecked her bedroom over 3 or 4 days, hasn't put a single thing away before getting next thing out, all polly pocket/barbie/ponyville etc etc all over floor all muddled up... I asked her to start and said i'd follow her up after I'd done sitting room. I gave her a small pot with all tiny pieces I'd found scattered around my house which she has thrown across the room in temper...something else she now expects me to tidy up.

I'm sick of it...every couple of weeks I spend about 3 hours sorting it all out only to be a complete mess again within a week. I try to keep on top of it with her but think at this age she should start accepting some responsibilty for own belongings.

I've tried the bin big thing, you know if it's not done by the time dinners ready it'll all go in the bin didn't do much though...maybe I need to do this every night and make her tidy up before bed each night? I don't want to be dragon mum nagging about her room everyday, she still gets nakered from school and is in bed by 6.30.

Sorry so long just wondered what age you make them do their own rooms, I don't mean cleaning etc just literally tidying up the bits they get out in vaguely the right homes!

Sounds like she might be a bit overwhelmed. I know when I ask my two DC to tidy their playroom (once a week, sometimes longer ) they stand in the middle of the devastation and just don't know where to start. It can feel like a huge job when every thing's a big mess. (DD about the same age as yours, DS younger).

The trick, I've found is to offer guidance and an incentive. I say they can each have 50p (they don't get any other pocket money) if they tidy the room completely. Then I start the ball rolling with them by saying okay, first gather all the e.g. cars together and put them in the toy box. I tell them to report back to me when they've done it, then tell them e.g. to pick up all the books and put them back on the bookcase, then come and tell me, then it's pick up anything that's on the floor and put it back where it should be, etc, etc...

By breaking the big 'tidy this huge mess up' job into smaller jobs, they don't get overwhelmed and get a sense of achievement as each step is done. When it's all done, they get their pocket money and they're proud as punch they've made the room look lovely.

It really helps to join them for the first couple of minutes, too. I generally ask them to do it when DH and I are doing tidying / housework too, so they can see that we're all hard at work.

Thanks for the reply, I do try and say start by putting all dolls stuff int he dolls cupboard etc. To be honest I think I was just so annoyed witht he whole house being a tip that I over-reacted...however, she did have a good go at it, well shoved most of it nder the bed. I think we need some more boxes with labels etc so she can see where to put things.

This weekend they seem to have just gone into each room I've done and made a mess then when the next room is done they mess that one up to...locks on the doors is the way forward I think!

Oh I know that feeling welll

Yes you have to break it into steps for them or they get nowhere

The other option is to think about how much "stuff" she actually needs. How about taking at least half her stuff and putting it out of reach (eg in loft/garage) then there's less stuff to get messy. I think a tidy as you go every single evening policy is best (but then again my DD is not quite 2 so perhaps less destructive but she does help me tidy us every evening before bed)

It took her 3 or 4 days?! Mine can do that in an hour, but then she is very skilled at it.

I have been teaching mine to tidy up lately and realised after quite a few tears that she didn't actually know how to do it. Sounds silly to us but she didn't know what to do. So I said that she should chose one thing to tidy (such as the clothes strewn all over) and put those away first and then move onto something else. It has REALLY helped!

I've got 2 boys who love a good competition (not sure if that's a boy thing or if all children like to compete?) so I'll say things like "who can pick up all the cars first". If it's your dd on her own you can say things like "can you pick up all the barbie things and put them in this box before I've finished singing the alphabet song". I find the alphabet song a good one as you can slow down and really drag it out to make sure they have finished their job before you've finished singing it!

I feel your frustration though, I've chucked out 4 binliners of stuff last week. Bits and pieces that they just chuck around rather than play with. I'd had enough.

i know how you feel op, its like as soon as you clean the train of destruction is back, but my dcs are 4, 2 and 10 mnths...

i was hopin my the time they were 6 i could have a decent house....