Worse than having a newborn

[emjanedel]

My DD is 14 months and has turned into a complete nightmare. She has always been a dream but things at the moment are dreadful.

She goes to bed at 7.30pm and spends the first half an hour having a meltdown - screaming till choking(?). I am trying to do controlled crying but DP refuses to go up at all as he believes she is just doing it for attention. When she finally goes to sleep she is fitful and can be up at least twice a night but can be up to five. She is then wide awake at 5.30.

I am letting her have 1/2 about 10 am and she has 2 hours in the afternoon.

I am exhauted. I don't know what has happend to disturb her sleep but i need some sleep. (forgot to mention if DP goes into her in the middle of the night she has meltdowns).

No experience personally but it seems to be taking quite a big risk to assume she's doing it for attention IMHO. And even if she is, then that's her feeling insecure, not malicious so controlled crying seems a bit harsh. I'd be tempted to go to her every time like you would a newborn because I think once she feels secure again, she'll stop. Again, no personal experience of this but experienced mums seem to stress that children go through all sorts of phases for no explicable reason. Could she be finding it hard to get to sleep? If so, could you reduce her afternoon nap to 1 hour and put her to bed at 8pm so she's properly sleepy when her head hits the pillow? If she's restless, could you try lavender oil, soothing music etc? Also, can you and your DP take it in turns to do the night shift so that you get a good night's sleep at least every other night? Good luck x

don't know the reason (no-one ever will tbh) but I'm not a big fan of leaving babies till they choke (that'll learn em!). Just go and calm her, re-settle her and it will pass in time. Of course she is doing it for attention! She's 14 months old, you are her whole world. She's not a nightmare, she's 14 months old! Good luck, just ride it out (and revisit this scenario randomly through childhood with variations).

I would query whether she is screaming until she's choking because she's actually overtired - could this be the problem do you think? Based on my own 2 DCs' sleep patterns at the age of 14 months, I would say NO daytime sleep after 2.30 p.m., and bedtime at 7pm in order to give her wind-down time before she hits over-exhaused-meltdown-phase. I agree with reducing the daytime naps in terms of timing, but not necessarily length - what time does she nap from/until in the afternoons?

maybe try to cut the morning nap out -and also do you take her to the park everyday? if she is anything like my two boys, she needs to run around, jump and get properly exhausted in order to sleep properly!!
also about CC if after a 4-5 days you havemt noticed any progress, then something else is wrong. might worth a trip to the gp.

also CC is about going in every 5 mins isnt it? to reaasure them that we are here and we love them but they need to sleep? thats why its called "controlled" crying? do you do that or do you let her cry for 20 mins solid?

your dh is right she is doing it for attention. BABIES NEED ATTENTION!!!

My DD is 14 months and we've just had a small spell of exactly the same thing. I don't do CC so my solution was to do the usual bedtime routine, then cuddle / sing / rock until she's drowsy then put her in the cot and gently ssssh pat until she's asleep. If she woke, we reassured her through the monitor. We had to do that for three nights and tonight, all is back to normal. With the 5am wakings, we just leave her in her cot and after a few yells to let us know she's awake, she either plays quietly with her toys or goes back to sleep. We don't get up to her unless she's distressed and even then, we try to get her calm and back to sleep (not easy with the daylight). Best of luck.