looking after grandchildren

[grannyhen]

My daughter has an 8mth old baby and is considering going back to work soon. I have offered to look after the baby 2 days a week for her. This would mean that I would need to stay with her and SIL a couple of nights a week. DD is very keen to do this.

The problem is son in law is not keen. He seems to think nursery is better for the baby but in truth I think he is a bit jealous that I would be spending so much time with gc. I already stay with them often to help my dd while on maternity leave.

I would be taking gc to lots of baby groups and surely that is better than nursery and I would be doing it free! My daughter thinks this is a good idea as she is not keen on leaving gc in a nursery so young.

What do others think?

Having read the whole thread now I think people have been pretty unpleasant to the OP. Sorting out the logistics is up to them but no-one can deny that it would be better for the baby to be looked after by a family member than several strangers in a nursery.

My DD2 is almost 10 months and at the stage where she is very wary of strangers, starts crying if people who she is not familiar with pick her up etc. DD1 was the same at that age.

OP, if you're still reading these, we did what you are thinking of doing. I went back to work when DD1 was 13 months and my mother came from abroad to live with us in our 1-bedroom flat to look after DD. She slept in the living room and us in the bedroom. It was difficult at times as both my mother and I can be volatile. But I'm so glad we did it. I would have been very unhappy to put her in a nursery and I knew she was getting excellent care and lots of love from my mother, and DD was in her own home. Now my mother and DD1 are very close.

And really, babies don't need to socialise! (And if you think they do, the OP said she'd take the baby to playgroups.)

A stranger doesn't stay a stranger for long in a nursery setting.

My son will go inyo a nursery at 10 months and now I feel a bit scared by the prospect but like anything he will be ok with it in the long run.

Has she looked into the option of a childminder? My dd goes to a childminder three days a week during term time and it works brilliantly. She gets the continuity of being with one person (although actually it is a married couple who work together, so she gets two people most of the time and if one is ill the other steps in as far as numbers allow). Anyway, I would think if the child's father isn't happy with an arrangement you wouldn't really be comfortable being in the house, surely, I know I wouldn't. You'll still be there for back up care I guess and I'm sure you could still develop a close relationship with your grandchild.