why do some parents not allow toy guns?

[baskingseals]

dd was playing with her cousins, who had a friend round. they were playing an elaborate army game with nerf guns. friend particularly enthusiastic, dd said he got on her nerves because he kept on shooting her. mum comes to collect friend and tells my sister that she doesn't allow guns at home - not judging my sister, just stating a fact.

do some parents think that by not allowing toy guns they are minimizing agression?
does it work ie if you don't allow toy guns are your children less aggressive?

Re the wolves: oh, come on suburbophobe... it's called imagination. Like toy guns, it's not real.

There are a few reports out there about "research" but it appears observational. Guardian one here but I'm not sure it helps any causes by mentioning the attribution to "post-war anti-militarism and the rising influence of feminism" which is absolute bollocks, in my humblest and does injustice to any side.

I think, looking back to how my cowboy outfit would be viewed by some today, we are imposing our own understanding of guns on children - I never viewed it like that - it was never an important part of it to me. That said, I do see how people can be concerned over trivialisation of a weapon... and yet I don't think children think like that.

I think as adults we maybe over think it.. I dont think by letting children play with guns we're "normalising" guns/violence..

I think its normal part of childrens play - no more and no less

I think children's play is very important.

Like the play of all baby animals, it is about learning in a low-risk environment the practical and social skills they will need for adult life.

My children will probably one day have babies of their own and drive cars, so I have no problems with those.

On the other hand, now we have moved out of Peckham, they are unlikely to need how to use a gun to kill people, so that sort of play does NOT seem so constructive.

Of course play releases aggression and anger; but that doesn't require a weapon, or even violence.

(Don't massively care about playing with guns, actually; but clearly see that there is no need to do so and that it adds nothing and potentially takes away a lot.)

so really it's what the gun represents, not the games or agression behind it?

thanks for the link motherjack.

i can see that if children are denying their feelings or believing that their desire to play with guns is 'wrong', they could become disconnected with what's going on around them.

so is it phase that you hope they will come out the other side from?

What Miflaw says.

I don't get the "play fighting" thing either. Oxymoronic IMO.

ll31 how is it "normal"?
children no9rmally play imaginative made-up games, or games which involve copying parents etc
if i regularly shot guns it wouldn't surprise me if my children played guns

but IMO no small children should be exposed to tv shows and stuff like that where people are getting shot and killed... and that is the only way they are finding out about guns and wanting to copy it

it is only "normal" in a culture where guns and killing are normal.

i bet in outer mongolia the children don't go and find branches to whittle into guns and play it, because they simply are not exposed to that kind of thing

I have 2 dds. The older is turning 5 soon. We haven't had a toy gun in the house and haven't noticed one in friend's houses either.

When she started pre-school she was quite upset by a child pointing a toy gun at her and shouting 'fire,fire'. She just didn't understand it.

She asked me why he kept saying fire when there was no fire.

I had never thought about explaining guns to her. It just never occured to me. She only ever sees age appropriate tv. Violence just hasn't entered her life yet. I am probably being naive about this but I don't like the idea of small children pretending to kill each other.

I was really unsure how to approach the subject. She is only now coming to terms with the idea of death.

I told her that guns are things that make a loud noise and hurt people. She seemed to accept that answer. I haven't ever seen her make a pretend gun or pretend to shoot anyone so she is obviously just not that interested.

My dad played cowboys and indians with bows and arrows when he was little and he's not an aggressive person. He also used to play with dolls though!

But i won't be allowing my DS to play with guns in our home, just because the world is a scary enough place as it is without glorifying war. I'd like to preserve his innocence as long as possible.

If his friends play with guns in their houses then so be it, i'm not so naive that i believe my DS won't play with guns at other houses - and that's down to their parents. I just won't condone it in my house.

I think the whole disney princess rubbish is more potentially damaging than toy guns tbh.

I find this subject quite difficult as I am a keen shooter, and have quite a large number of firearms stored very safely in the house. DW is currently 39+2 with our first (a boy), so I guess that I will have to deal with this at some point. One one hand, I want him to be used to the idea of firearms so that they hopefully aren't seen as 'forbidden' and therefore exciting - but at the same time, they need to be treated with the utmost care and respect. It is drilled into everybody at all shooting clubs that you always treat every firearm as though it were loaded - you don't point it at anybody even if you are completely sure that it is clear. I get quite upset when I see people (children with toys, or the police in airports) muzzle sweeping (pointing a gun at me) without thought.

I'd be fairly confident that kids in outer mongolia play with imitation / guns/swords/sticks or whatever too ...

I really dont understand the desire to stop children playing with toy guns - what about knights / castles/ swords toy soldiers, what about toy monsters, action figures etc etc . - do we only give children toys which have no connection to action/fighting games and then monitor their play all the time to make sure they don't use their imagination to make weapon?

As kid my best memories are of games which involved "guns" - but it was play so no one got hurt - similarly to son and his friends - they all played with toy guns, swords, played battles etc etc but again its play.

really? so a child who has never even seen a gun and has no idea what one is would play with one?

sure

We were never allowed guns in the house when I was growing up.

I found out much later that this was because my aunt had committed suicide by shooting herself, and so my father found it too distressing.

I think that was a good reason. But at the time we all thought it was really unfair.

Because they are unbelievably precious...

I find realistic guns and children pretending to shoot other people for fun offensive, so I have banned it in my house. In the same way that I have banned swearing because I find that offensive. Thought I fully appreciate that this will not mean they'll never swear elsewhere. Have no problem with guns for hunting, but do have a problem with trivialisation of shooting people; I just don't like it.

SO yes, it is about me and not about the children. But I live here too, I have a right to have my sensibilities taken into account.

I am under no illusion that it will make a permanent difference to them, but I hope there are other things about their upbringing that will. And I have to say that I have never found ds prone to making pretend guns out of anything: I haven't done much preaching but he's just never liked them (and as he is nearly 11, he is getting past the pretend play stage anyway).

Seems to be a bit of a family tradition: my parents and grandparents, and even my greatgrandparents (I have been told) had similar ideas: as far as I know noone in my large extended family has grown up with aggression problems.

"I am just interested as to whether the hard line gun banning parents stop use of water pistols/ bows and arrows at events such as the castle I was at today/swords in knights dress up outfits?"

When teenagers are regularly killed on the streets of South East London and in other parts of the country with swords or bows and arrows - especially by knights - then I imagine lots of parents will take a harder line on them than they presently do.

I've noticed that the boys at ds's preschool play shooting by angling their wrists at each other - their pretend guns are Buzz lightyear type lasers. I'm not going to encourage gunplay by buying guns for ds, but I'm not going to outlaw it either. I even think there might be a positive side to it: they are playing at being heroes, being brave and adventurous. I had similar play as a child, and I'm not an agressive person now. Play is a chance to take on other roles, not just to mimic your (rather dull) parents.

And yes, banning it does seem uptight, precious and anti-boy.

Anti-boy?!

Dare you to post that on the feminist board :o

I don't get this antiboy thing: it seems to presuppose that there is something about men that is defined by guns and if you ban something that many boys want you are consequently anti-boy.

Does the same go for girls? If I ban something that is aimed at girls but that I disapprove of (e.g. highly sexualised tops, high-heeled shoes for 4yos, ear piercings for 6yos) does that make me anti-girl? But girls want these things, one could wail, (as they undeniably do), it is anti-girl to go against their instincts. Or is it only boys' instincs that are so precious that we must never try to modify them?