mums and sons

[dexter]

Has anyone else noticed the prejudice there seems to be nowadays in favour of having a girl? I've read articles lately in which people state that 'every woman wants a daughter' and numerous articles over the months have appeared in magazines looking at 'mothers and daughters' and their relationships. Maybe I've missed them but I've not seen a similar article celebrating mothers and sons and their unique relationships. I'm extremely close to my mother so I am not denying the special relationships there are - but I have a son and I feel that there really is a magical bond between mother and son, he is heavenly, adorable, and glorious. I don't feel there's enough out there about this! It's almost as if some people feel I must be disappointed to have a boy...anyone else sensed this or is it finally time they sectioned me? let me know, girls!!

I hate that "mother/son/wife" saying.

Makes me very sad.

There was an article in Junior the other day about girls.

I have 19mo DS who absolutely adores Fifi and the Flowertots and can wear a white T-shirt all day without getting it dirty.

But he's laughed at farts and burps since he was 6mo... And he LOVES cars and buses.

People are asking what the new baby is - I'm not bothered either way (although do admit a certain dread of girls toys with their numerous pink sparkly bits that look v fragile!) - half of me wonders what it's like to have a girl, the other half knows it's fantastic to have a boy and would like DS to have a little brother.

I'm just amazed that I'm pregnant again with another baby that isn't DS - and I LOVE that last night he pointed to my bump and said, "baby" and is always wanting to kiss my tummy

The only person who doesn't snigger at farting in the Inferiority Complex is the only male member. So to speak.

It is true though. My DP is very close to his Mum and will not have a bad word said about her but I know that he is much closer to me!!!!

I have a son and daughter. I am much closer to my son but I am not sure if this is because he is a boy or because he is very cuddly and affectionate like whereas his sister doesn't need all that and is quite independent.

I just have two very different relationships with my kids and believe that the mother/son bond will be there for life with my DS but not too sure about DD.

I'm mum of 2 boys and also bristle at the prejudice against boys out there. For example, who says that we don't want to buy nice colourful clothes for our boys. Was in M and S yesterday. 3/4 of the floor taken up by pretty girls things and over in the furthest darkest corner, a little section of navy, black and khaki was the only boys stuff there was.

Also agree that there's some truth in the whole daughters a daughter for life thing though. In most cases it seems that maternal grandparents are more involved with their grandchildren than the paternal ones. I'm determined not to let my sons get away with this!!

I have a girl and three boys. I would have liked another girl I must admit. The old adage that
'A daughter's a daughter for all your life.
A son's a son 'til he finds a wife.' has a good deal of truth in it.

My MIL had three sons. I feel for her because she's always had to play second fiddle to the maternal Grandma. After all I want my mum there when a new baby is born.

I'm already preparing to play second fiddle grandma when my sons have their babies. I'm really glad to have one daughter.

Having said all that my ds3 (3.5) is far girlier than any girl his age I have ever come across.

Spidermama I wanted my MIL there when my daughter was born. I have a great relationship with my mum but she just isn't as hands on with small children as my MIL and we needed help with ds. I think it does depend on personalities. My Mum was the first to see ds too and she said to me it was MIL's turn.

I think the son/wife/life thing is just cultural. It certainly doesn't happen in Italy - am planning for my boys to be like Italian sons...

No you're right it doesn't happen in Italy does it?
They always adore their mothers.

Shimmy21, I Sooooooo agree about clothes! My son has blond hair, bright blue eyes, rosebud lips - he's an absolute beauty, as all toddlers are really - why is it only the girls that can wear bright happy clothes!! I constantly want to buy nice bright things for him and they just don't exist (not that I can afford, anyway).

Tho having said that clothes would still annoy me if I had a girl cos EVERYTHING is pink! Bit of pink, yes, I like it but want to see beautiful children in red, yellow, purple - rainbow colours really. Not just pink!

Message withdrawn

It seems to me like this is a reaction to the way things were before. My DD is almost 20 and when she was born things were very much swayed to having boys. Exactly what Dexter said but the other way around.

Spidermama, are you me?! I have one dd and 3 dss. DS3 is the most girlie of all my kids and dd was never a girlie girl.

The whole MIL thing worries me as I have never got on with mine and have always felt that the maternal grandma is the important one (always was in our family). I'm not very close to dd and the thought of losing my boys is terrifying... (can I be Ma Baker?!)

I have 2 boys and people always used to say, are you having any more wouldnt you like a girl?? As if I could choose!!

The dont say it now though as I look far too old and worn out...

Wouldnt have it any other way thoough

I could never understand why people mind so much when others say to them, 'Are you trying for a girl? I see no reason to take offence at that.

I was always quite open that I wanted ds4 to be a girl. It doesn't mean I reject him or that he's any less loved.

I'm just irritated by pretty much any pregnancy conversations . My biggest hate is asking me about sickness/bump shape and then telling me that it must be a boy due to anything that is difference, and the shape of their bump.

HOW is the shape of a bump going to tell you anything about whether or not it has dangly bits???

I found out what made me sick last time, and avoided it this time, so logically, I would be less sick.

Its a baby. Just a baby. Leave it at that.

I'm in a lot of pain and a tad irritable today...

sooo true about the clothes. sometimes i'm in a shop and i can't even find the boys' baby stuff as it's so swamped by pink frilly stuff that takes up most of the space. however i have now tracked down colourful, intereasting boys clothes at h&m (v cheap), and zara (a bit more pricey but ok). ds now has bright red tracksuit trousers, mustard cords, multicoloured stripy tops and socks, etc but i see so many boys who wear nohing but blue...

Message withdrawn

I think gender stereotyping is TERRIBLE for small children these days, if what you see in shops and magazines is anything to go by. and let's face it for a lot of people this is a central pillar of their understanding of the world. Was there a little window when we were growing up that was a bit better? dunno but... certainly the older generation is bad for little wisdoms like 'oh well you've got your daughter now' (said to me on DD's birth) and the new one, well, oh my god, all that pink!

Am dreading dd's primary school influences. I agree that there seems to be a bt of a girl-bias in the world; think prob. this is partly due to a feeling of nostalgia for one's own girlhood and partly, sadly, fear of bad behaviour in boys. Personally I love the energy of little boys at play, which I really don't see in many girls. And I do feel I 'know about' the games DD has started to play. I would love one of each!

spidermama - because the implication is that no way could you want another boy, as if there is something wrong with boys. I found it insulting. It's that sugar and spice and all things nice, that's what little girls are made of and that boys are just dirty, horrible, noisy things nobody wants.

Message withdrawn

My three darling boys - first one very physical and attention seeking, second one very sensitive and sincere loves to draw and colour, third one loves to join both of them in their activities and loves having his nails painted.

I've got 2 boys and I bloody adore them. I'm v. close to my mum and I'm a bit sad I don't have a dd to have this relationship with. But who knows what a relationship would be like before you have it? So it's 2 boys for me and I'm very happy with them!

I'm pregnant. Emotionally I want a girl as I have one girl and she is so wonderful I just can't imagine having a boy. And if it was a boy I feel sorry for him as all his handmedowns will be pink - hee hee, poor love.

I'm sure if I get a boy I will be chuffed to bits though, its just the 'unknown'