mums and sons

[dexter]

Has anyone else noticed the prejudice there seems to be nowadays in favour of having a girl? I've read articles lately in which people state that 'every woman wants a daughter' and numerous articles over the months have appeared in magazines looking at 'mothers and daughters' and their relationships. Maybe I've missed them but I've not seen a similar article celebrating mothers and sons and their unique relationships. I'm extremely close to my mother so I am not denying the special relationships there are - but I have a son and I feel that there really is a magical bond between mother and son, he is heavenly, adorable, and glorious. I don't feel there's enough out there about this! It's almost as if some people feel I must be disappointed to have a boy...anyone else sensed this or is it finally time they sectioned me? let me know, girls!!

DD doesn't like to start the day without a full face work up - moisturiser, cleanser, lipgloss... if I'm using it, then she wants it. Her scent for the day is a sparkly avon body spray She is currently heading to the garden to jump in puddles!

I have two boys and would like a third. I was really relieved not to have girls as the female to female relationships in my family are just aweful. I would hate to think I would do the same.

I desperately wanted a girl, but 'knew' I was pregnant with a boy. The moment he was born, it didn't matter at all. He was himself

Message withdrawn

That's crap AuntyMandy.

Defensive? Moi?

I really really really wanted boys and that is what I had. I hate playing barbies etc. And the way girls are supposed to be teenagers aged 8 years old.

I've got both and both are fab

YOU magazine (mail on sunday) had an article about mothers of sons recently.
I have both, love both. Ds, however, much prefers girls.

Auntymandy I know what you mean about boys being upfront. Example, me to my ds the other day when his play date was crying' Why is he crying?' ds simply replied 'because I kicked him'

aloha Mail on Sunday?

'A daughter is a daughter for all of your life
A son is a son till he finds himself a wife'

Deeply saddens me But probably true.

i think that sayings true as well - and i don't know why.

IME boys are a piece of piss. my girl is hard hard work. and its always been that way. boys go out to play and entertain themselves with a box.

my girl wants attention all the time - look at me, speak to me, be with me play with me. and all i could think was ...why can't you go clmb a tree or something.

now shes 12 and everymuch the teenager. things are getting better becuase she doesn't crave my company - she likes it - which i think is great becuase she comes to be with me when she wants.

however i do have a friend ( rhuby) who has a lovely little girl. and from what shes told me a devil child (boy)

ive definately noticed the prejudice against boys! when i was having ds2 and we found out he was a boy before he was born, i got comments like'oh well, never mind' and oh what a shame it wasn't a little girl' !!ITS MADDENING!! i must admit the older relatives in the family seemed to be the worst.when i was pg with no 3 i would have been quite happy to have another boy, but as it so happened she turned out to be a girl and every one was practically celebrating.now im expecting no 4 all everyone seems concerned about is that i havn't got enough bedrooms etc and where am i going to put them all...ive come to the conclusion that its just human nature to be interfereing nosy b####rds!!

I like YOU magazine!

also would just like to say that so far i hav'nt experienced anything extra extra special with my daughter that i did'nt experience with my lovely boys.its just the same with her as with them and i love them all the same, regardless of their sex.

So am I the only one with a 17 month old DD who farts loudly and then laughs? Admittedly this is behaviour learnt from her Dad and big brother.

lol at flamesparrow and bozza's dds - sound just like mine. Dh was having one of those dad-type conversations with his mate (who also has a ds and a dd) and musing about having their offspring play rugby for England. Both dads admitted it was more likely to be the girls on the hallowed Twickenham turf.

And her favourite word is bum. We had "Twinkle Twinkle little bum" this morning, and then a lot of falling about laughing.

totally agree with smiling - thought i wanted a girl, got a boy and am delighted. i was a tombiy too and i'm constantly eyeing up all the train sets and scalextrix (sp?) and can't wait!

i think there is a lot of that "girls are better" thing going on. have you noticed in magazines like Red when they feature some smug interior designer/boutique owner in her beautiful home - they ALWAYS have a toddler daughter, never a son. and the daughter is always called ruby, mollie or pearl or something.

sorry to anyone who's used those names (or indeed been featured in red!) - but that kind of thing has always made me feel a girl is more the "done thing"!

No, my DD cracks up at farts, her's and esp her daddy's!

i thought I was having a boy when i was carrying Lottie, you know how it is, th whole world tells you 'ohh that's a boy' and somewhee along the line I started thiking itprobably was a boy, and I was over the moon, a son, oh wonderful, yes i was very happy about having a son.

Had a girl. oh wow, a little girl, perfect this is exactly what I wanted.

What I'm saying is that it really doesn't matter.

the bond between a son & a mum or between the same mum and a girl - same love, it really doesn't matter.

I did however always used to think about boyfriends in the past and their mothers, that all the mothers, really fussed over their darling sons, ohhh let me do that type thing, and the mum and the DD's had more of a mutual respect / friendship relationship.

Yes, thomcat - I think you're right. I often feel more "clucky" about my boys, more protective, as I think they are still a little extraordinary to me (never had a brother, went to an all girls school, so know nothing about little boys) whereas dd seems wonderful, charming and tough as old boots, just like me. I don't want to raise sons who are useless and cossetted though, nor do I want dd to feel neglected, so I shall have to watch myself.

Definately a lot of prejudice against boys around where I live. Too many comments to mention, but a couple of middle aged women have said they felt sorry for my lack of a daughter! I adore my sons, but actually I think a lot of women would love a daughter till they try having a son (if that makes sense). I admit I have been on a couple of web sites about how to swing the odds of your babies sex (did this when already preggers to try and work out sex of baby I was having). From what I can work out from reading the forums there are very few wopmen out there actively trying to have a boy but a lot of desperate women wanting girls.

My midwife actually said to me that she thought I should have another to try for a girl. She says that in her job it is hugely apparent that the old saying about sons a son till he takes a wife is true. She says she feels sad when a baby is born and the only consideration is the girls and not the boys parents. As the mother of 2 sons she also feels regretful for not having had another.

Do you think its possible to ensure a life long bond with your sons? Many of my female friends have really poisoned their partners against there (often lovely) mothers just because they are the MIL I suppose .

Sorry to waffle but you love what you get. I would have loved a girl but no more than my boys. I do genuinly think though that a daughter mother bond is a closer one for life.

i think girls are possibly more inclined to be more .... girly, and therefore more inclined to have more of a friendship with their mums maybe. Like i go out clothes shopping with my mum, have tea and cakes with her, get a manicure together or something, can never imagine any of the men i know going out shopping and hanging out with their mums in quite the same way. BUT, they are all still close to their mums. it's the same love, it's just usually the same sort of 'we're great friends' vibe that mothers and DD's have.

I think it's helpful where possible for mothers to get on with their Dil's. I often nag D to call his mum back, i make arrangements to see them, for her to have dinner with us etc. I offered D';s help when she moved etc etc.

We have a dd who laughs like a drain at farts, her brother's diminutive willy, etc. She has a mind like a sewer
We lost a second boy prematurely, so stuff like, ooh, one of each, how nice, certainly hurts me a lot.
I am struggling with having higher common sense expectations of dd than I did of ds at this age, purely because of the men are gormless stereotype.
I think it helps me keep an even hand that I have a sweet Fotherington-Thomas who likes cooking AND megazords, drawing AND kick-boxing his own shadow, and a girl who belongs in the nursery wing of St Trinians

another saying that I can't remember properly (it might be a translation?) is about boys start life close to you and move away and girls start out apart from you and grow close. I've got 2 boys and it seems likely to turn out true for them I guess.
Our society doesn't seem to have much room for boys or men really apart from as consumers of 'boys' mags and gadgets. I couldn't believe that programme about men being trained like dogs. Who are our boys role models in the UK? Wayne Rooney - great stuff!