Year 7 - OK to be a latchkey kid?

[VivaLeBeaver]

DD only in Yr 5 at the minute but she's said that when she goes to secondary school she doesn't think she'll need the CM anymore but would be OK being at home till her dad got in. I only work p/t so it would only be 2 or 3 times a week but DH won't get in till 6:30pm.

Now we live in a nice area and are friendly with neighbours if there is a problem, etc. DD is normally sensible and there would be instructions about not opening the door, etc.

One of my work colleagues was horrified though when I said I was thinking about it. Next door let their 11yo DD be home on her own till they got in - they get in a bit earlier though - about 5:00pm.

I don't think I'd be so worried if it was only 90 mins, but she'd be on her own for 3 hours.

Yeah it's fine

what time will she get in from school? Not until about 4, surely? Does she know a neighbour she coudl call on if anyhting happened?

She'd get in at 3:30pm. Schools round here finish at 3:00pm

She could go to the neighbours either side if they were in and they would help. If they were out I have several friends within a 5min walk she could ring/go to.

I think she'd be fine. She'll be watching telly or on lap top probably

I think it will be fine.

Great. If she still feels she wants to do this when she starts secondary I'll let her. Thanks.

Someone I know is facing a wilful neglect charge for leaving a 10yo, though that was till 10:00pm - so I think I'm a bit twitchy.

Hmm it's a while isn't it.

But I am sure if she is OK then it's fine. There may be clubs after school as well making it a 4.30pm finish - DS1 is in yr 7 and he has a later finish twice a week, thanks to trampolining and film clubs.

Easy for me to say as I get in about 4pm - earlier than him often anyway!

She may find that there are after school clubs / supervised homework sessions in the library til 5ish if she didn't want to be alone at home?

Actually forget that as you may not want her going home in the dark afterwards in the winter.

Clary - I think thats the thing I feel most worried about. Not that she will have a problem, or the house catch fire, etc. Just that she will be scared, worried. Though we do have a big dog and cats for company!

I was a latchkey kid from the age of 8 and can rememebr sitting in the cold conservatory as I was too scared to go in the house as I thought it was haunted. Big difference between 8 and 11 though I guess.

I suppose we can try it and if she's unhappy for any reason then we can ring the CM again and say can she come back. I'm sure the CM would say yes as at that age DD wouldn;t be counted in the numbers so not like we'd lose our place.

yes

my dd did it in yr 7 despite me worrying my arse off

she never ever gave us cause for concern

enrol your dc for after school stuff/sports training etc to eke it out a bit more

but most of all...don't worry, a bit of responsibility will be the making of her

they really do grow up a lot in that summer between yr 6 and yr 7 (hard to believe I know ... )

my ds will be doing the same come Sept, and he is very much a little kid in my eyes...he will be ok though

I don't mind her coming home in the dark as she'd come home on a school bus which drops off on our road - so no streets to cross.

Just make absolutly sure (I'm sure you will) that you fit in "listening to her" time. The transition to secondary school can be hard, and you need to keep connected. Could you male time at work to ring her when she gets in for a chat. possibly?

Yes, I'm pretty sure me and my sister were walking home alone by the time I was 11 and it'd be an hour or two before my parents would return - we never had any problems or felt in any danger.

Very doubtful I can ring her from work as spend most of the day in operating theatre. But as I only work 3 days a week I'll have lots of time for her on my days off.

What seeker said.

Imo it is perfectly ok, in fact my dd was the only child locally who used the CM in Yr 7 (physically disabled) and SS actually queried this as a sign of possible overprotectiveness. Ds will be going straight home.

Personally I would not do it. I think that it is important to have somebody to listen to her once she comes out of school. I don't think it is the same if you sit down several hours later. Also, must feel so lonely for her just sitting there on her own in an empty house. I think it is too young. Then again, when I was young we always had several latchkey kids staying as my parents felt sorry for them, so I would definitely not want my own child to be a latchkey kid.

I can see how your dd would be reluctant for her friends to know that she still has a childminder at that age, so are you close to an university? Could you have a demi-pair? A demi-pair is a student who lives with you (so free accommodation and food) and in exchange helps you out with a little baby sitting and some household work/shopping (but fewer hours than an au pair, so you do not pay any pocket money). This would give your dd some company when she comes home. Alternatively a real au pair and maybe share with another family who would need help during day time hours. Hope this helps.

I loved being home alone at that age! Got to watch what I wanted on telly, littered about, ate toast! I was letting myself in from age of about 8 and can't say I was ever scared. Had a mate down the road who I used to go and see too.

I even made dinner for my mum and dad on occasion (quiche, if I remember correctly!) so you might get lucky there too!

I too used to love having the house to myself at that age- big noisy family, having a bit of me time was bliss. Would have hated a student or nanny that I had to talk to.

Ds (10) has just expressed disappointment that my workplace is closed today so I'm going to be working from home.

So it's really all about the individual.

From what I've read on MN year 7 is a time when you need to around for dcs. New school, new friends and potentially new problems. I'm worried about it but ds is only in yr 2. My current solution is to get him into a school that goes to yr 8 (and has wraparound care level that is usually associated with primary schools!).

I was on my own from that age and absolutely fine.

DD did this in Year 7 and she was always absolutely fine - she liked the fact that I respected her and trusted her. She never has given me any cause for concern.

I second what someone said about making time to see if she is OK - the first year of senior school is (I think) the hardest time for them, the rest of senior school is easier than the first term or so. DD had lots of friendship issues and low level stresses.

I was a latchkey kid in yr 7 and had no bother. I liked coming home to a quiet house.

Each child is different though, and some will cope where others will not.