Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Parents with four. Tell it to me straight. (but with a positive slant) please.

25 replies

bubble99 · 30/10/2005 19:45

We're TTC number four. DS1 is 8 (in two weeks time), DS2 is 5, DS3 is 8 months old and is a surviving twin. Since his twin died at birth, I've been desperste to conceive again. The older two are real buddies (most of the time) and I really want DS3 to have a sibling as close in age as possible. Beginnings of cold feet yesterday. I need some inspiring stories, please.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

compo · 30/10/2005 19:48

Although not a parent of 4 I am the youngest of four and love my big family dearly

compo · 30/10/2005 19:48

also never had a problem with not enough parental love to go around

milward · 30/10/2005 19:53

Best wishes bubble99 xxx

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Original poster

bubble99 · 30/10/2005 19:56

Thanks milward. Compo, are you the only girl or is there a mix in your family?

OP posts:

spidermama · 30/10/2005 19:59

I'm loving it bubble.

Bizarrely I'm finding it easier than when I had three. He's a really happy easy baby (easiest so far) which is lucky, and the others love him.

As a fourth child he's surrounded by noise and colour and different personalities and he really gets stuck in and enjoys it. (He's 9 months old now).

They do say you ought to leave a 2 year gap to allow your body to recover. My first two are 15 months apart though. I can understand your motivation for wanting another quite quickly though.

Fingers crossed then.

Original poster

bubble99 · 30/10/2005 20:08

Are yours a mix of girls and boys, spidey? Just being nosey really. Mine are all boys and Elijah's twin, as I think you know, was a boy too. I'm beginning to get really irked by people assuming that I want number four to be a girl. As strange as this may sound I'd prefer to have a boy, so that Elijah get's a brother nearly his own age. Of course, the most important thing is that he/she is born alive. I don't think I'll ever really enjoy preganancy again, which is a shame as the next one (if I'm lucky enough to conceive) will be my last.

OP posts:

Original poster

bubble99 · 30/10/2005 20:09

Errant apostrophe. Why do things like that bother me so much?

OP posts:

hunkerpumpkin · 30/10/2005 20:11

Bubble, ttc no 4 and getting cold feet? Tuck the duvet in at the end of the bed and don't be so, er, vigorous

Seriously, as you know from last night, I'm fretting about having two, so I think I'm the last person who can actually help. But I can put a bit of frivolity your way if that helps?

Oh, and DS has been saying "bubble" all day too - that'll make you smile

spidermama · 30/10/2005 20:13

I have a girl and three boys. Number four was supposed to be another girl but there you go. Obviously I wouldn't change a thing.

lilibet · 30/10/2005 20:13

I'm cautiously considering number four at the moment bubble. I have been told that three is as hard as it gets!

Good luck whatever you decide.

Can't beleive Elijah is 8 months? Is he ok? that's my favourite age, before they start moving (and answering back ) but they are responding and are really cute.

Miaou · 30/10/2005 20:27

Hiya bubble. Re-read my thread "I need to talk about having a fourth child". There are some lovely thoughts in there, about having four and having grown up as one of four.

We're still thinking about no. four

LadyTophamHatt · 30/10/2005 20:32

I'm going to shut my eyes and fingers in ears when i click this thread.....It flicks the broody switch on again.

expatinscotland · 30/10/2005 20:35

Better you than me, LTH!

Gem13 · 30/10/2005 20:36

Only have 2 ATM but would possibly like 4, definitely 3.

But... I am an 'only' 3rd with a bigger age gap than yours though, 11 and 9 years (suprise!). Both of my siblings had left home by the time I was 9 and so I was pretty much on my own. I can't remember them being around much anyhow (school, driving lessons, friends' houses, etc.)and TBH the stories 'before you were born' annoy me sometimes. Also, my sister has a photo of the 4 of 'them' on her mantelpiece. I am part of the family too! Didn't realise how much that bothered me until I wrote it!

I've always thought the hassle of 4 was the car thing more than anything else... Oh, go for it.

Miaou · 30/10/2005 20:43

Gem, it's the car thing that really puts me off - gone are the days when you just used to say "squash up everyone"

JanH · 30/10/2005 20:46

But the car thing is much easier now than it ever used to be, even if you are skint. My brother has 4, born in 74, 75, 78 and 81, and in the early 80s he had an ancient Marina (sorry Marina) and used to be constantly re-drilling the holes in the floor to rearrange the car seats/carry-cot straps - I was always afraid the floor would drop otu due to the number of perforations.

Nowadays there is a vast array of ancient cheap 7-seaters with proper belts!

Racers · 30/10/2005 20:47

Hiya bubble
I'm the youngest of four (girl, boy, boy, girl). My mum has said in the past how all the hard work is worth every minute (in fact she has a tendancy not to mention the hard work, though doubtless it was!) and these days, she and my dad have got an additional 4 inlaws and 5 grandchildren to enjoy time with and to look after them . I love being part of this family and very proud of us all and yours will be too, good luck
HTH

Miaou · 30/10/2005 20:49

You're probably right JanH - and dh is Ebay king when it comes to cars (he has just bought a new Mondeo for £100 and it's ace!)

JanH · 30/10/2005 20:50

Oh we could have done with him down here this week, miaou - we have just bought a 7-yr-old Toyota for somewhat above its market value just because it came from a garage and they would give it a new MOT and a basic service before we collect it - cost a lot more than £100, I can tell you!

Original poster

bubble99 · 30/10/2005 20:52

HP. Your son has always struck me as a discerning young man. You'll be fab with two and it'll be so lovely for Master Munker.

lilibet. I know, eight months He's crawling all over the place (have to clean floors properly now ) and is being taught naughty tricks by the other two.

Miaou, LTH and Gem. Get to it girls! You know you want to.

Same goes for you too, expat. Methinks you protest too much.

OP posts:

Original poster

bubble99 · 30/10/2005 20:54

Racers. I like the idea of there always being someone you're getting on with.

I have a friend who is one of seven and she says that was one of the best things. Sibling squabbles didn't matter so much, somehow.

OP posts:

ambercat · 30/10/2005 20:58

i would love to have four but the stress of coping with three children for this 2 week half term has dented my broodyness considerably

hunkermunker · 30/10/2005 20:59

Bless you, Bubble - I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to your pregnancy announcement

(Btw - pic of DS on his thread atm (shameless, ain't I?)

JanH · 30/10/2005 21:03

4 really really is easier IME. They can split into different combinations of 2 when they get fed up with each other but they can also do things in a bunch - mine (23 down to 12) still love playing eg Monopoly when they are all here, and will voluntarily all go for walks, play football etc. There is always someone there, even if it's on the end of the phone, when their mother gets on their nerves. 4 is fab.

(Mind you they take up a lot of space as they get larger but then they go away for a bit. Swings and roundabouts!)

spidermama · 30/10/2005 23:31

I totally agree janH. I found two tough, three really hard at first, but four is easier.

Flip