please help a children's party virgin

[mamadoc]

DD really wants a proper party for her 4th birthday this year. Until now I've got away with sandwiches and cake with family but now she wants the full on children's party experience with her nursery friends and I am clueless as to what's expected.

I am throwing myself on the mercy of mumsnet- lend me your top tips please. Nothing is too basic.

What's the best day/ time/ duration?

How many is optimum to invite?

Home/ village hall/ some other activity?

DH takes and picks up DD from nursery so I don't actually know any of the other parents or their kids. How's best to invite? Ask nursery to help give out invites or is that cheeky?

Any tips on food/ activities/ games greatly appreciated.

Will parents stay or will I need to ask them to? What about siblings should they be invited?

What is present etiquette? Open at party or keep for later?

Will anyone actually come????

Any help gratefully received.

Thanks so much for al these great suggestions.
I'm asking DDs nursery tomorrow to help me with names and then sending the invites out this week.
Will update on how it went

Instead of party bags, I always put a couple of chocolate coins inside balloons before I blow them up. Then the kids get a balloon to take home, but when it pops they get a surprise!

We had ventiloquist called 'Poppet' come to 2 parties when DCs were little - she was fab. Venue was village hall and tea was 'party boxed up' by me, party bag had big pack of plasticine in.

We did bouncy castle party - boys got a bit wild therefore not recommended. Venue was our garden, food was help yourself buffet on a rug on the lawn. Trad. party bags full of rubbish.

We did a party at the local climbing wall - brilliant. All I had to do was take the cake. Fab! Party bags were a frisbee each.

We did a super cheap 'take a big picnic to the park and meet your friends there party' - my kids loved it. We took pizzas, crisps, choc and straws and cream etc. No party bags.

We are hiring the local leaisure centre for roller-skating next time.

At that age,

Nursery will give out invites - insist on replies though & bug parents for numbers for food if need be - but still cater for a few extra

if I remember well, we did a "teddy Bear Picnic" in a local park (but would work just as well in a garden) & it worked really well, but you can do any theme really

Gazebo in case of showers/shade from sun, decorate with balloons & streamers - suspend a bit of net across inside roof of it & fill with balloons & sequins.....let this go after cake/candle blowing.....makes for great photos, is exciting for them & keeps the kids occupied chasing/popping balloons for ages

take out door toys, cushions picnic mat, dress up box etc & a trestle table for cake & adult snacks,

teddy bear cake (or whatever theme)

cardboard Party food boxes, you can pick these up cheap online, or even poundland etc - fill with small filled (cheese, marmite, jam etc) finger roll, veg sticks such as carrot, cucumbre, packet of pombear or similar, banana, apple or a few strawberries, etc - saves them fighting over food.

pass-parcel , but put small toy or lolly etc in EVERY layer, so that way they all get something.....have 2 going if a lot of kids

Don't bother with party bags, but fill a Pinata with party bag type bits & bobs, give each kid an empty bag & let them play pinata & fill their own bag - in my experience they LOVE this, & saves you a lot of headaches on numbers

expect some people to turn up/not turn up, regardless of what they have already said - this kind of bad manners sadly is par for the course & something we all have to just get used to

oh yes nearly forgot -

Keep a game of DEAD FISH/SLEEPING LIONS up your sleeve(the one where they all lie down & have to stay quiet & still until music stops - statues can also be good too

This is a great way to calm them all down for home time, or generally just if they are getting over excited & hard to control

Ear plugs

Do the party between 12.00 noon and 2.00 pm. That way you're not spending all day preparing for it and it will leave some of the day to relax.

Knicking ideas for DD's 3rd birthday in July.

Re the crown making. Tesco were selling crown decorating packs for £1 the other day. About 5 cut out crowns and lots of sparkly bits to decorate it with.
:)

I did a soft play party 2-4 with me doing the food. We had a small soft play to ourselves and a room to do tea in. This meant that the kids had had lunch and only a snack was really needed. About 12 kids came. The kids played for the first hour while I set up the food and then we did tea followed by a bit more playing (despite dire warnings from the venue of projectile vomitting in the ball pit, none of which happened). It worked fine. We had ot go out for more juice as the soft play got veyr hot. Parents stayed. We collected presents but didn't open them. It only cost about 50 quid total for the venue. We did cocktail sausages, carrot sticks etc etc and biscuits and cake.

I hope this helps

Must admit we never had a problem at parties when kids where out of the games, they knew they were out and sat to one side. It's getting more competitive now at 7 years old but not so much then.
Lots of music, lots of small sports type bottled water (like the little Buxton ones) as we find they dont go for the fruity drinks so much when they are really thirsty. Not too much party food, keep it simple otherwise you just end up with a huge pile of waste at the end. The tip about the boxes and keeping it all finger food so you don't have mums all over the place is also very good advice. Stick with the simple traditional games - I find activities dont always go to plan and you end up sitting there on your own making stuff while the kids run riot! have fun and enjoy the at the end!

I wish after reading this thread that I had a) a larger garden and b) DS was born in the summer! Late autumn isn't the best time for picnics...

I am currently wondering how easy it would be to have a party at the local Steam Railway.

hmm I think that's us fixed for this year!

Champagne for the adults. Absolute guaranteed party success!

When I was a kid we didn't have a sweet between every layer of pass the parcel like now! It prepared us better for a life of dissapointment! Also showed us that not everyone can be a winner all the time! How times change!

I do a forfeit in each layer. For older kids they have to sing, worship a grown up etc, for younger ones I use pictures to show clapping, jumping etc or maybe say a nursery rhyme. We all join in if they want us to. Then they get a sweet from me for doing it. Spins the game out a bit as well!

Pass the parcel is a dreadful and boring game to be avoided at all costs especially with little ones and/or a large group.

I have used packets of seeds (sunflower, runner bean, marigold...) instead of sweets as little prizes.
I have never seen children being bored with pass the parcel, but it can get tricky to oversee with more than about 10 children!

I have repeatedly tried to take pass the parcel off the agenda for parties, but my DC are not having any - it is an absolute requirement of any party as far as they are concerned.

If you have a large group, have 2 parcels - it speeds it up. Then put DH/DP in charge of music and tell him he has to stop it so that they all get a go (it's impossible, without intervention, but it's fun watching them try).

DD just had her first party, we did it from 11 - 1, lunch at 12.15. Because it was lunch we did homemade chips etc rather than sandwiches and they sat down for ages. Also put savories on the table and cakes / jelly on another table to spin it out a bit - that way they can't just scoff the lot and be off! Craft activity good too. Children weren't too tired and we hadn't spent the whole day hanging around waiting. We were home by 2.30 and just had a nice afternoon.
Personally I really dislike sunday parties - spoils our one family day.

kiddies parties brings back lots of memories as my two are both teenagers now. we had so many great parties 1 each every year from the age of one.
we had themes everything from barbie, action man, halloween, wizard of oz, teddy bear picnics, we also done the mcdonalds, swimming pools and indoors soft play parties.
I think for young children keep it simple,up to about 10 children and in my opinion DONT ASK PARENTS TO STAY.instead try to get a friend or family member to help. i have found the parents often just sit around chatting and the childrens behaviour is often not good when mums stay.obviously if there is a child who is gonna be unhappy without mum then let them stay but the fewer the better. That is also backed up by my experience of working with under 5s for many,many years.
I always found the kids ate more if the food was cut into small bitesize peices. so tiny sandwhiches cut into shapes, fingers of pizza, cubes of cheese. mini rolls cut into little slices, mini iced gem biscuits.
when my to where little we would usually play singing games that they knew from nursery rather than games with winners, so things like SLEEPING BUNNIES,DINGLE DANGLE SCARCROW, HEAD AND SHOULDERS,RING A ROSIES, FARMERS IN HIS DEN. you could try dancing and when the music stops get the children to make a scary face, stand on 1 leg, be a cat/ lion or whatever takes your fancy. just for fun nobody needs to be OUT, instead of pass the parcel, how about wrapping a box but leaving a hole in the top, fill with small bags of sweets or small gifts, pass round to music and every child gets a turn to take something from the box when music stops bit like a lucky dip. If they get a bit roudy try sleeping lions to calm things for a bit, and if you are lucky enough to have a garden and nice weather try a tresure hunt.
Also as other people have said dont expect people to reply, they hardly ever do : (
Dont worry to much just go with the flow and enjoy it : )

Great ideas here. Thanks everyone.

Do you have a toy library? Maybe call your nearest sure start.

They hire out really cool big toys for ree that are fun for parties... ball lools, ride on toys, huge lava lamps.....

We found that DD enjoyed 'helping' organising the party. She chose some colours and what food she wanted

too ill to write more..... minging cold...

great ideas!