please help a children's party virgin

[mamadoc]

DD really wants a proper party for her 4th birthday this year. Until now I've got away with sandwiches and cake with family but now she wants the full on children's party experience with her nursery friends and I am clueless as to what's expected.

I am throwing myself on the mercy of mumsnet- lend me your top tips please. Nothing is too basic.

What's the best day/ time/ duration?

How many is optimum to invite?

Home/ village hall/ some other activity?

DH takes and picks up DD from nursery so I don't actually know any of the other parents or their kids. How's best to invite? Ask nursery to help give out invites or is that cheeky?

Any tips on food/ activities/ games greatly appreciated.

Will parents stay or will I need to ask them to? What about siblings should they be invited?

What is present etiquette? Open at party or keep for later?

Will anyone actually come????

Any help gratefully received.

At DS's 3rd birthday party they all enjoyed decorating party hats with stickers and glueing stuff on. Pass the pacel still seems to be expected at every party with games (DS is 6 soon), and I find that they love the rubbish in the party bags, despite the fact that it only amuses them on the car journey home.

ohhh I have my 3 year olds in 2 weeks wiil watch this thread with interest :)

oh yes we are are hiring a hall (house to small) invited 12 kids, bouncy castle, face painter and games with food.

party fromm 11 - 1

blitzermaloney - prizes for the best statue, good idea, will do that next time.

Maybe they'll be old enough to do a balloon relay race, two teams with two balloons and you have to get the balloon over over over then under under under, first to pop it at the end is the winner.

Musical statues and Musical Bumps, is ideal, and you could learn a few basic balloon modelling shapes yourself, on a site such as www.balloondesigns.net/1dog.html?

Do a pass the parcel with about 10 wrappings. A dancing competition is easy. And put together a box full of little penny sweets from Home Bargains to give everyone a prize after each go. If they are sore losers it doesn't matter as they all get one anyway?

Food - lots and lots of chocolate fingers, little sarnies, crisps, sausages, cakes, jellies possibly, just basic stuff don't go mad they won't thank you for it! And do a birthday cake with candles, the whole singing Happy Birthday To You bit is very important to them, after the food.

Best Of Luck mate!

ginbob - I doubt it (that they will be old enough)

That game would be DD's nightmare. She hates balloons being popped (so does my DM - we have to cart inflated balloons home after parties, and then DH and I perform balloon euthanasia when DD and DM aren't looking )

What about pass the pillow case? fill it with funny hats, scarves, gloves, masks (charity shops are good) and play as per pass the parcel. At the end take a photo of the kids with their funny outfits on. Print copies later and write thank you for my present on the back! No winners/losers ( and I am an all or nothing pass the parceler!)

My DD had her 4th birthday party last Saturday (which I unfortunately missed because I was in hospital :( )

We invited 5 girls, although one couldn't come. I asked nursery who she played with, and took the invitations in to nursery to distribute. Nursery then "chased up" the non-responders for me.

We had the party from 2.30 to 4pm. All but one of the parents stayed, and sat in the garden drinking tea and chatting. The girls first went on a hunt for mini chocolate eggs hidden around the garden, then made and decorated crowns, from coloured card, which took a while. They had a game of pass the parcel (sweets in between every layer), a bit of general running about and sat for a story (Cinderella). Then they had tea, followed by another pass the parcel and some free play and it was time to go home.

A good time was had by all

For that age do not have a late afternoon party - there will be tears!!

11am-1pm the perfect time - give them their lunch at lunchtime and it means parents don't have to feed them.

Lots more energy too.

Hats game good, just like musical bumps instead you put on a hat (take one away each time).

Kids hate losing though, and I would make sure everyone wins a prize - "dancing" competitions with a winner picked by you are a good one to even the score!

As there will be children there who's names you don't know, have some name stickers ready for when they arrive and if the parents are leaving them with you, get them to jot down their mobile numbers - just in case!

Also (being really anal (can I say that on Mumsnet??)) when presents arrive have a quick check to make sure card is attached to present - we've had several occasions when we've no idea who's given what - embarrassing, especially if you don't know parents well!!

Good luck, I'm sure it'll go really well!

Top tip. Get 2 or 3 Easter/xmas size tubes of jelly tots, smarties, chic buttons for passing round circle with the pass the parcel. When music stops kid takes lid off n takes a sweet. No tears - everyone's a winner!!!

to add to NannyMcPhee's suggestion - keep your DD close at hand so that she can tell you who is who as they arrive!

Going home pressie, flower pot with kids name written on in craft paint, bag of soil, packet of seeds, cake and bag of party rings.

I've done parties for the DC since they were tiny at home. Its blardy hard work. It culminated last summer in DD's 4th birthday, 15 children plus all the parents, who mostly stood around expecting drinks and doing bugger all to help. I ran around like a blue arsed fly ( trying to look serene like a swan - pah! ) getting drinks, food, organising party games, extracting children from my bedroom etc etc. Home made everything, all wonderful but as I said blardy hard work.

DS for the first time last year had a football party at the local sports club. No cooking, no clearing up, no organising games, and best of all no adults. He loved it. Bliss.

This year, I think I will compromise and get a maypole in the garden for DD's 5th and pay someone to organise games around it so I can chat to the adults, get the food ready and help any little ones that don't want to participate. I'm done with the stress of it all.

Softplay. £7ish a head, they run around like loons for an hour, have nuggets and chips followed by ice cream, the run around for another hour, take their party bags and go home.

Job done.

bad lazy mother

For DS1's 3rd and 4th birthday parties, we hired a bouncy castle for the garden (£60 and we could cancel free of charge if it rained) and got some food in. Apart from that they just ran about with balloons. If it got a bit too chaotic, we brought out the bubbles and they followed us around in a balloon popping trance!

Oh this is fantastic- so many ideas.
Loving wands, flower pots, pillow cases and stickers for best statue.

Name stickers for the DC sounds essential and I hadn't thought of it. I can just see myself trying to award a sticker for best statue to 'you there, little boy in the green tee shirt'

I would consider softplay but it does come with its own hassles doesn't it? It worries me if people don't RSVP and you can't confirm numbers plus it is probably more expensive than home. The clincher is that DD actually must be the only child in the world who doesn't like softplay. She is getting a bit better now but she always used to refuse to go on it without me (not so easy at 6 months pregnant!)

For DD's 4th birthday (3 yrs ago now) I invited round 8 children to our house with their mums (who luckily were friends of mine too). I did party games and biscuit decorating (laid out rich tea biscuits, some bowls of icing and some sweets for decoration). We usually have parties 3 -5pm.

DS is due to turn 4 in May (5 days before DC3 is due) and he is also extremely keen on the idea of a big party... Until now we have always held his parties at home in the garden and we have been lucky with the weather. This year, as the baby is due around the same time as his birthday I am thinking about inviting friends to a lovely park near us with picnics, bikes and ball games.

Food ideas - sausages and buns, pizza, cakes.
Also, I would keep presents to open after the children leave.

I always did an early party so I didn't have to feed them :o I set out little bowls of cut up fruit and cheese, veggies w/dip, chips (which would be your crisps I s'pose) for snacks and then had cake. One year I did cupcakes and set out little cups of sprinkles and colored sugar so everybody could decorate their own, which was a hit.

I find it helps to pick a theme because then you can just choose activities out of that. When I was a nanny I did a dinosaur party for one of my charges: I set out dino coloring sheets, took plastic eggs left over from Easter and filled them with penny candy for a "dinosaur egg hunt", and we played Dinosaur, Dinosaur, Egg instead of Duck, Duck, Goose. :) Lots of fun and -cheap-- .

You can't have too many balloons. They just run and play with them - keeps them occupied for ages.

Get help. Make sure you aren't doing too much.

Don't have too many kids there (if you don't need to invite the whole class).

Pay someone to entertain them if possible so you can just sort out the food and chat to parents.

Don't go mad with party bags, but yes they are de rigeur IME.

If possible have a joint party to spread the cost.

Think about timing - earlier in the day may be better (I like 11-1 parties) as esp the little ones are less likely to be tired and whiney. 2 hours is plenty.

Think about how many sandwiches you might need. Halve the amount.

Think about how many sausages and sweets you might need. Double the amount.

Have a table for presents. Make a list of who bought what as you child tears off the paper (after the party).

Have a bottle of wine and a large bar of chocolate ready for when they've all gone home.

Theme wise DD is hard to dissuade from princesses unfortunately. I had hoped for octonauts which she is also obsessed with and seems a bit more gender neutral but she is insistent.

I am going to try to subvert it a bit to a royal party so the boys could be knights or dragons or something.

Crown making/ sword making
Pin the tail on the dragon?
Castle cake

I've got help from dh and my mum so fairly well sorted on that front.

I like your style MrsH75

What's the best day/ time/ duration?
Saturday, late morning, with lunch providing the big finale. 11-1:30ish

How many is optimum to invite?
I am of the opinion that you can't exclude anyone from the class.

Home/ village hall/ some other activity?
Definitely not home. Some bouncy place or supervised gymnastics place are good. Find a place that provides assistants. Otherwise round up family members to help out, not just you and your DH. Do not rely on any parents who show up, for help. If you're going to attempt crafts then a hall instead of home. You will need help besides your DH.

DH takes and picks up DD from nursery so I don't actually know any of the other parents or their kids. How's best to invite? Ask nursery to help give out invites or is that cheeky?
Tell your DH to distribute the invitations at nursery drop off and pick up. This is really the only polite and effective way to do this, as the invitations get right into the hands of the parents and not lost along the way. Do not include all the party information in the invitations so they'll have to phone you for information/RSVP purposes. If you can't get them to phone you you'll be posting three days before the party pulling your hair out because you don't know how many are coming.

Any tips on food/ activities/ games greatly appreciated.
Finger food and only at mealtime, but drinks available. Nuggets/sausages and chips or pizza. Fruit (grapes, strawberries). Juice boxes to drink. Cupcakes are easier to serve and easier for the children to eat than a slice of cake. Ignore frowns from the organic only brigade. Do what s easiest for you.

Will parents stay or will I need to ask them to? What about siblings should they be invited?
Normally children that age would be able to handle two hours without parents. If they want to come, then you'll have to have younger sibs most likely. But you'll need a number no matter what. I wouldn't invite them, and wait til they ask when they RSVP.

What is present etiquette? Open at party or keep for later?
Children age 4 really like to see the presents opened. Be sure this gets done in a very orderly fashion and keep track of who gave what. Have a bin bag handy for wrapping paper, and something to cart off the loot in too.

Will anyone actually come????
You can try to make sure of this by verifying your date hasn't already been taken by someone else (your DH can do this informally at the nursery door -- this will also serve as a heads up to expect an invitation in the near future), and then following the tip about leaving out important information such as date, time or venue on the invitation.

I got little brown paper carrier bags from our local sweet shop and put them out on the table to decorate thier own party bag with stickers when they arrive. Then they have something to do until everyone's arrived and they get to take it home. (I put all the party bag stuff into sandwich bags to pop inside when they're done.

The best thing we've done at DD's 4th and DS's 2d birthday recently was to put some music on and dance round the living room! For DD's in November it was dark enough at 5pm with the curtains shut to have the lights off and I gave all the kids glow-stick bracelets and put a bright swirly lights screen saver on the TV. I didn't know how it would go and only allowed 10 minutes or so but they boogied to Mamma Mia and the spice girls for half an hour and then asked to dance again as soon as the food was finished! At DS's it was earlier in the day so we had bubbles and twirly ribbons to dance with.

Have fun whatever you do!