please help a children's party virgin

[mamadoc]

DD really wants a proper party for her 4th birthday this year. Until now I've got away with sandwiches and cake with family but now she wants the full on children's party experience with her nursery friends and I am clueless as to what's expected.

I am throwing myself on the mercy of mumsnet- lend me your top tips please. Nothing is too basic.

What's the best day/ time/ duration?

How many is optimum to invite?

Home/ village hall/ some other activity?

DH takes and picks up DD from nursery so I don't actually know any of the other parents or their kids. How's best to invite? Ask nursery to help give out invites or is that cheeky?

Any tips on food/ activities/ games greatly appreciated.

Will parents stay or will I need to ask them to? What about siblings should they be invited?

What is present etiquette? Open at party or keep for later?

Will anyone actually come????

Any help gratefully received.

OK. Not read whole thread...but will save for ideas.

for my ds's 4th birthday we had a couple of nursery friends, a couple of our friends' kids, a couple of neighbours and a couple of his outisde-school friends. It was pretty chaotic. I think with parents and sibs there were about 40 in our house! (not a big one!)

Sat pm - around 3-6 I think.

When people came in the kids decorated a cupcake for later. I had made difference coloured icing and had a selection of decorations (silver balls, blueberries, smarties). Only one child insisted on eating hers rather than adding to the very fetching display, but I did have a few spares so was fine.

We had a pinata as ds1 really wanted it and went down really well.

Dancing competition (best dancer) with medals. 2 age groups, and a parent's prize!

It was very different from the 2 year old party which was the previous one I had. We basically needed to have constant entertainment with no gaps.

Picnic (inside) on a few blankets for the food.

Party bags I'm afraid. Few chocs, bubbles and small gift like a car for the boys and hair clips etc. for girls.

Mistake of opening presents at party. They got opened, tipped, bits lost. But was nice for the people there to see ds's excitement at each one. I always find it a bit weird when you take a gift to party and it disappears into a vacuum. Sometimes I'm not even sure if they knew it was from us! We did present opening again for his 5th and I just made sure he didn't open any of the packaging, which worked really well.

Oooh, for a princess theme you can do crown decorating for a craft; that's always fu

Crap!

Always fun, I meant. Pin the tail on the dragon is a great idea too :)

Oops...you already said you were doing crowns.

At least you know what a children's party is supposed to be like, even in the OP you know more than I did. I had no idea about booking ahead or party bags or food expectations, etc.

Mine did running round the garden, eating and pass the parcel.

All the parents will love you if you don't have party bags

Oh yes - we have NEVER opened presents at the party.

Be terrified of 5th birthday parties

The kids whose parents don't stay will definitely attack and deliberately draw blood from at least one poor innocent ime - think kick in the mouth or similar. Never leave your child alone at a 5th birthday it is too dangerous

Have done DD's party in a local hall age 4 and 5.

Both times I did food in party boxes (party pieces have a good selection) - carton juice, sandwich, grapes, babybel.

Parties were fancy dress - which was a novelty for the kids.

Bow up balloons and scatter around room - don't underestimate the attraction of running around with a balloon.

Do play pass the parcel.

I tried musical bumps/statues but to be honest they just wanted to run about.

I had the lady who did DD's preschool music class come and do some singing/action songs for 30 mins for a resonable price.

Cake decorating was a big hit this year with boys and girls - make fairy cakes then after kids had eaten I gave them each a cake and put ready made pink frosting in pots and sprinkles etc. Saved me decorating them and passed 15 mins or so.

Just before end of party put tray of party bags out and get a friend to volunteer to leave first - once kids see party bags being handed out the rest will want one and get the hint party is over.

I wouldn't open presents - had a table for people to put them on.

I also did singing happy birthday before they ate so we could cut the cake and have it in the party bags. Calmed the kids down before eating.

2 hours is plenty.

I was worried it might look 'cheap', the norm here is a party at a soft play/themed party place £10 or so a head. But had nice invitations made off ebay, had helium balloons to decorate the room and decorations for the room. A lot of last years I saved and reused.

Got a lot of positive comments from parents that it was lovely to have a 'proper' party.

I also photocopied some colouring sheets took some pots of felt pens and set them up on a table with some stools around - was a popular chill out area.

Good luck op

also good to name label the kids if you don't know everyone

make sure you have phone numbers if parents don't stay

If you're hoping for the parents to stay, then offering cans of beer / cider as well as tea & coffee has always been popular at our kids' parties. Helps while away the time.

Personally if it's at lunchtime, then please provide enough sandwiches & crisps for the grown ups as well - nowt worse than watching the smalls tuck in & knowing it's going to be a few hours before you can go home & eat / stealing off your own child's plate.

From DD1's 3rd birthday onwards we've just had a bouncy castle & a buffet. They run about & wear themselves out with no need to persuade people to stop & do organised games. Only stopped for candles, singing & cake cutting near the end.

Craft activities have been popular at some other parties & I would consider this if DD's birthdays weren't in summer.

We have so far managed to avoid the dreaded party bags - usually just full of tutt that gets dumped as soon as you get home but costs you money.

Don't expect people to RSVP without threats - God knows why but people don't seem to these days, which drives me up the wall & makes planning difficult. You could try asking the nursery staff to kick people.

Good luck & enjoy!

We once went to a pirates and princesses party which was great for boys and girls.

Also, if you look on the book people website you can pick up 'party packs' or book packs that you could give as 'going home present' with some cake, crafty things they've made and a pack of sweets possibly!

I recommend baker Ross for loads of brill crafty ideas and resources. They do cut out crowns and lovely shiney pens and stick on jewels.

i always put rsvp by x date, then if it is only inertia that is stopping someone responding, rather than rudeness they usually manage to do it. and if they don't respond by that date you are well within your rights to have already confirmed numbers/bought stuff for party bags/generally catered and not have included their dc.

also, if you want to hassle them after that date you don't look so weird.

I went to a lovely 4th party recently where all the children made hobby horses and rode off on them at the end! It went so well that it has inspired me to do something similar with DS (4) and DD (7) over the next couple of months. I found this website here which I've been thoroughly impressed with (have ordered three different craft packs from them now). It's quite pricey but not too bad if you're only having a few children. If it's not in your budget to buy stuff from them you could easily steal a few ideas and do it yourself

Also, am going to do these instead of party bags in future - I saw them recommended by someone on mumsnet a while ago and think they look fab!

for 3 year old dd but would be fine for older
3 friends - made cup cakes everything measured out in bowls on work surface, they just tipped in and took turns mixing
assembled pizza toppings onto bought bases toppings on plates eg ham, pepper, pineapple,
played a couple of games
ate pizza and oven chips
decorated cup cakes with water icing and loads of sprinkles in pots
took two cupcakes home in freezer bags as party bag
took photos of them making cakes/display of cakes in cake stand to print out as thank you card - was great fun and surprisingly easy considering I was 38 weeks pregnant at the time!
also tip from a friend which we always stick to - do it for 15 minutes less than you think as the last 15 mins are when it all goes pear-shaped
i only did 1.5 hours and it was quite a squeeze but better as by the time all the kids are picked up etc, you will be the two hours

Don't do present opening at the party unless you are only inviting a handful.

I know the kids would love it.

But can you rely on your child not to do a dreadful "but I've got one of these already" moan, or cope with two upset children who have given the same thing. My dd is generally charming (biased I know). But her reaction on opening presents that she already had was awful. Well it was honest anyway! Luckily her gps saw the funny side.

And they are great for re-gifting!

Rather than party bags this year I picked up some cellophane bags in Lakeland, getting princess/toy story/Winnie the pooh mugs from 99p/poundstrtcher slike shops, with some sweeties/homemade cake pops/homemade chocs a thank you for coming to the party note, tied with a ribbon! Piece of cake to take home as well! Thus avoiding junky/crappy junk in party bags!!!

I'm with the mum who had the party in a play centre! My house is far too small for lots of children to run around. Some play centres let you hire the whole thing exclusively and so me and a friend had a joint party for our 2 to save the costs. It was brilliant.

There are lots of options other than at home dos - halls as suggested and there is a local farm near us that does great partys in the summer.

For a 4th birthday I did musical bumps, some action songs and rhymes, a 'feel in a bag and guess the item' game, pass the parcel. There were only 4 children as we had recently moved to a new area and were living in a tiny house at the time. All the parents stayed and it was a nice way to meet people. (One of them is now one of my best friends!) Have done lots of craft activities over the years, masks can be bought from a craft shop, or paper plates made into masks.

Oh yes reading back up the thred has reminded me we had fun doing 'keepy-uppy' with balloons too!