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Parenting

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Original poster

Things you wish you'd known with a newborn!

27 replies

surprisearrival · 19/03/2011 11:00

Hey; Posted another question somewhere else and someone said to repost here;
SO! I've just had a baby; but didn't know I was pregnant until a week or so before she arrived; and then thought I was just a few weeks gone. So I haven't had the 9 months to prepare/read books etc and am getting a bit worried I'm not doing things right! Was wondering if some of you could please give us your "top tips" for being a new Mum, what "things" we actually need, what are nice to have, and what are just going to end up in the loft! I'm a single parent too but have a lot of support from my family!
Many thanks x

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BristolJim · 19/03/2011 11:11

Not everything needs to be brand new. In fact, hardly any of it does.

Routine feeding or feeding on demand is a choice made to suit the parents' arrangements. The baby doesn't care and won't be affected either way.

People genuinely won't judge an untidy house with a newborn in it.

It can take time, weeks or months to bond with your child. This is absolutely, positively normal.

No-one, and I mean no-one, ever feels like they're coping. You won't, but you will get through it.

Congratulations though!

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 19/03/2011 11:13

babies cry when they are tired, they Don,t just go to sleep

BertieBotts · 19/03/2011 11:19

Do you drive? If not the one thing I didn't factor in was the fact I might want to get a bus somewhere and a lift back, so for these occasions a carseat which is compatible with your pushchair is really helpful.

Number one tip - you cannot spoil a newborn baby.

Also just generally, before the baby is born hang around mumsnet and read various threads and see what various problems and issues people have had and how they have solved them.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

ninedragons · 19/03/2011 11:26

Swaddling works! Seriously, wrapping them up like a little spring roll can put them out like a light.

AMumInScotland · 19/03/2011 11:32

Wehat things you need - very little with a newborn! Some clothes, some nappies, somewhere for the baby to sleep, something to help you get around with them. They can just have little babygrows for ages so don't spend a lot on fancy little outfits - they only sick up on them or their nappy leaks, so you can be changing clothes several times a day. Cheap babygrows you can throw in the wash are very practical.

Depending what you find practical, you can get a pram or go with slings - some babies will b much happier to be carried.

rirismummy · 19/03/2011 11:32

Congratulations!

Things that immediately spring to mind: dummies appropriate for the childs age and preferably the orthodontic ones that are shaped not to wreck their teeth although i'd take it away at about 14 months - research shows they can help prevent cot death, a baby monitor, bottles, milk (imo the best formula is cow & gate, it may not be linked but all the children I've ever known that have been on sma have been HYPER toddlers!!)lots of people do heat milk up in the microwave but it SHOULDN'T be done - it creates heat spots which can burn babies mouth and also, can change the formula of the milk - not sure exactly how but was told this at college....instead, boil the kettle in the morning and put it into a covered water jug to be used during the day. It's better to use room temperature milk because if baby gets used to hot/warm milk and your out shopping and can't heat it up, chances are they'll refuse it....if they're used to room temp you don't have to worry about having to heat it. gro-bags are a really good idea - they're like a sleeping bag for babies/toddlers which takes away the worry of them worming their way under the covers! nappies - to be honest, i think the cheaper ones are just as good as the leading brands, being changed about every 3 hours.

Original poster

surprisearrival · 19/03/2011 11:35

thank you all! I love the "you cant spoil a newborn" bit! we've been very lucky and had loads of stuff given / lent to us!

I don't drive (which is a massive pain now!) and the pram wont fit into my mums car easily which is a bit of a pain but not the end of the world! But we now have a car seat which fits on the pram chassis so its getting esier!

I got given a swaddling thing; she does love it but likes her hands out .. is that okay?

Am trying not to stress about the untidyness.. or do a half hour at a time!

OP posts:

AMumInScotland · 19/03/2011 11:41

If she's happy, it's definitely ok!

rirismummy · 19/03/2011 11:43

Arms out is fine :)

BertieBotts · 19/03/2011 11:45

Oops I completely misread your OP - I didn't realise you'd already had the baby :) Congratulations!

If you're breastfeeding definitely check out the breast and bottlefeeding section on here as they have really good advice. If bottlefeeding, do you know about the half hot/half cold water method for making up bottles?

Original poster

surprisearrival · 19/03/2011 11:50

im breast feeding! reading my way through some of the posts! shes a little gutser so shes loving the boobs! Not been brave enough to feed her in public yet!
:-)
x

OP posts:

brightidea · 19/03/2011 12:11

muslins!

can't stress how useful they are!

baby sling of some sort...

make use of offers to help...

and congrats!

WanderingSheep · 19/03/2011 12:28

Savour every precious moment! They grow up far far too quickly.

I also second BertieBotts' advice of "you can't spoil a newborn". With DD1 (almost 4) I was terrified to pick her up and cuddle her "just because I wanted to" as it felt like someone would come and shout at me that I was "making a rod for my own back." I really regret not having more cuddles.

This time, with DD2 (3.5 weeks) I'm so making the most of the newborn snuggles . if she gets cuddled to sleep occassionally, it doesn't matter! So far she's pretty similar to how DD1 was and hasn't turned into a screaming monster!

Congratulations!

bubbles12 · 19/03/2011 13:53

Many congratulations.
They grow up sooooo quickly, so cuddle, cuddle, cuddle.

Second the swaddling thing.

Also, remember everything is 'just a phase'

Oh and one more thing - no such thing as a 'rod for your own back.
Enjoy your little one.

ElsieR · 19/03/2011 13:58

Cranial osteopathy is a must against colic.
Worth every penny.

reallytired · 19/03/2011 14:03

Congratulations!

Have confidence in yourself and there is more than one way to parent a child well.

Original poster

surprisearrival · 19/03/2011 18:34

THanks! I've had so so many people tell me what not to do coz I will make problems for myself later on.. Little one likes to fall asleep on my chest after a feed; I love it and she does, but I keep getting told not to! Figure that shes had a dodgy start to her life and just wants to feel loved and safe; and she does with me so I want her to!

Really want a sling for her but shes still onlt 6lb so a bit small.. in the baby shop we went to they didnt fill us with confidence in the slings for smaller babies... any recomendations? xx

OP posts:

YouTry · 19/03/2011 19:47

You won't make problems for yourself later on- just hold whenever she wants and whenever you want. I wish I had held my baby more- now at 17 weeks she cries to be put down to play! And don't hesitate to (safely) co-sleep if you want to... but equally, if you don't want to, your baby will go down in the cot eventually!

Congratulations!

Bonners · 19/03/2011 19:50

WHATEVER WORKS

I had soooooo many ideas about how it was going to be and what I was going to do with bubs i.e. no dummy, no formula, no gina ford. I went back on every one of those (little screammer wouldn't take a dummy no matter how much I begged though) and quite a few other things but he is happy and I am feeling more confident as we go along. He is now 6 months and I wish I could take back all the stress about not being able to breastfeed. He doesn't miss the boob, he is now onto solids so it was a big fuss over a short lived episode.
The biggest thing is to give her lots of cuddles and love, you can't go wrong that way. Oh, and if she cries for 20 minutes at a go and you don't have the energy, mental power or patience to see to her right away it's not the end of the world. She'll be okay while you take a breather.
Good luck and congratulations!!

BertieBotts · 19/03/2011 20:22

Oh you definitely need a proper sling, not the ones they sell in shops - get a stretchy wrap for a small newborn, no question :) Moby is the most popular brand or Sa-Be babywear ones are quite cheap and they seem just as good (if not as pretty!). Best tip I had with that was it's like swaddling - you can't do it too tight and the baby won't suffocate. With a stretchy wrap you should put it on so it feels skintight against you like a t-shirt would, and let the stretch in the material accommodate the baby.

BertieBotts · 19/03/2011 20:25

You can buy both of those online, BTW, just google the names. Or you can make your own stretchy wrap with no sewing involved. Instructions. If you go into any fabric shop and ask to see their cotton jersey (jersey is a style of weaving which means knitted - ie it will be stretchy like t-shirt material) then you can choose from the patterns and how sturdy they all feel.

stressheaderic · 19/03/2011 20:32

My biggest piece of advice would be to just try to enjoy and savour every single second of the newborn period.
They are this little for such a short amount of time.
My girl is 13 months and a bundle of fun but I can't believe where the last year's gone.
Enjoy her.

Kaz62 · 19/03/2011 20:34

the thing that i wish i new for dc1 but realised for dc2 is that as long as she is warm, fed, clean and loved the rest is not important. I cuddled my ds until he was 3 and then he accepted that as he was in a big boy bed he needed to go to sleep by himself and now he is 4 and not so keen on cuddles i don't regret a single minute. In terms of bf in public muslin squares, loose tops and know that people really can't see once they have latched on. Good luck and congratulations.

TheSkiingGardener · 19/03/2011 20:40

There are as many ways to bring up a child as there are children. Trust your instinct but also get informed. Mumsnet is very good for being able to point to factual sources of information.

Then you can read, digest, decide and happily ignore everyone when they tell you how wrong you are doing it. Which they will!

Enjoy every week, even the bad bits, because next week they will be different with different good and bad bits.

They will get as much education and entertainment from a box as they will from the greatest toy ever. At least for a while.

Best of luck with it all. Sounds like you have great support and are having a fab time.

2sons1hubby · 19/03/2011 21:33

COngratulations!

Don't listen to/read too much advice (including this) :)! Do it your own way.... wouldn't the world be boring if we all brought up our babies according to 'advice'?!

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